Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN MARCH 2009

Image: by Roswila, posted with dreamku of March 15, 2009 below

This is one of those month’s I feel stumped to say anything clarifying about. I do find this dreamku from March 24, 2009, quite amusing:

the large frying pan’s
labels slide to one side
more room for my butt

As if labeling things is no help when your butt is in the frying pan!

And the end of this month was complicated by some celebration and mourning of the birthday and brief life of a boy I’d raised who was killed just before he turned 15. Here’s only one of the dreams that reflects this, from March 23, 2009:

it’s the softest dream
of all from this busy night
fading as I wake
I clutch at its warm edges
like a blanket for the day

there was a young man
in my now thread bare dream
the day’s images hook
on memory but only
frustrating echos land

It was this dream that led me to remember that his birthday is March 22 and that he would have been 40.

I’ve recently read and reviewed here the book THE SECRET HISTORY OF DREAMING which has re-awakened me to the idea of “big dreams.” Dreams some folk have that carry import beyond their personal lives, with messages for their communities. So another problem I’m having with looking at this month’s dreams is my sense of how intensely personal my dreams are – and also my way of working with them. I almost feel apologetic for this focus. Yet I also believe that whatever any single person brings back from the dreaming world that enriches their own life, enriches the lives of those around them. So I suppose I’m suffering from a little bit of “big dream envy.” LOL! I can’t point to some amazing huge tapestry of a dream with clear messages for those around me, but I can continue to be grateful for the little pieces of beach glass that wash up on the shore of my mornings, and learn from and share them here.


ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN MARCH 2009


March 1, 2009

he wants to drum from
the conference room ceiling
expecting others
to lift him up no matter
their own needs or wishes

she says assistance
after informed consent is fine
two young volunteers

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]



March 2, 2009

he’s owed much money
from past therapy clients
paid up now in part
this former lover of mine’s
more grateful for the acknowledgment

[dream tanka]



March 3, 2009

she uses clear bags
to protect her shoed feet
greasy left-overs squish



March 4, 2009

it’s hard to pinpoint
that classroom I met him in
dark-haired young suitor



March 5, 2009

she answers my call
then hangs right up
at least she’s alive



March 6, 2009

she seduces me
with caresses as we look at
the sunlit ocean,
the shore curving on the right ...
I’m grateful for my new life

she leaves abruptly
with the boyfriend I’d not known of
her cavalier good-bye

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]



March 7, 2009

a spare modern theater
two long rows of balconies
among which I sit
watching the many film clips
many seats down, my uncle

ambivalence reigns
I pass where I think he sits
will he notice me
this judgmental old uncle
I always so loved

men in the audience
leer at a chesty actress
in a low-cut dress
inappropriate, I think
the way she’s been costumed

my wish to be seen
overridden by sexual threat
safety in darkness

[three dream tanka and a dreamku on one dream]



March 8, 2009

he spoons her closely
she dreams singing "Love look away..."
all night through



March 9, 2009

crude young guys
leer at my breasts and butt
uninvited partiers
I threaten them with a burkah
and leave to get new music

I’m followed by
a woman from India
gracious and friendly
she’s impressed my music choice
was produced in Mumbai

[two dream tanka on one dream]



March 10, 2009

she picks up a large
black and white furry snake
a smaller honey-hued one
left in the mud as she shuts
the woven basket lid

after our swamp hike
I share an irony
the snake lifts it’s head
speaking from the open basket
humans are as nuts as we



March 11, 2009


the long-haired pirate
galumphs his handsome way down
the length of his ship
the first to make himself known
of two men said to be mine

[dream tanka; Image: The Emperor (IV) in The Tarot of the Pirates]


March 12, 2009

I stuff my garbage
disguised to look just like theirs
among their full cans
I do not want to be caught
and fly off through the cool night

[dream tanka]



March 13, 2009

my long-deceased friend
completes her application
for employment
she’s apparently faking
a thirteen year reference

a chalk white full page the black fine print


[dream tanka and monoku on one dream]



March 14, 2009


I DON’T BUY IT

he leaves before
finishing my haircut
my loud complaints

another man says
to count all electric* outlets
I can’t and wouldn’t

alone with spiky hair
and a physical challenge
large echoing store


[dreamku series on one dream]

*I was not aware of the “electric Saturn/Uranus” astrological aspect yesterday until after writing this this morning. We Capricorns may have been even more effected than many as Saturn is our sun sign’s ruler. Unfortunately, I did have a late night electric-like encounter (read: argument).



March 15, 2009

[see horese head illustration at top of post]

they find a good mate
for the rare sleek black stallion
as she’s still too young
he courts her carefully
teaching her mating posture

a film clip close-up
reveals she’s not a true horse
but a leggy feline
the auburn fur on her large
horse-like frame shiny and soft

she enters heat early
the aroused stallion paces
the narrator speaks
of the hope for offspring
to save this stallions’s blood-line


[three dream tanka on one dream]



March 17, 2009

best he close his eyes
while she makes love to him
for the sight of her
would not be beautiful
and much too close to real


[dream tanka]



March 18, 2009

THE MADDING CROWD

they’re to be married
in a huge amphitheater
filling steadily
with a massive crowd of folk
there for different events

I’m squashed as I inch
along to my seat in the
star-lit arena
determined not to attend
a live event again

the madding crowd
how can nuptials be squeezed
into this disorder


[two dream tanka & one dreamku on one dream]



March 19, 2009

MATCHED PANTS RARELY GET MUCH WEAR

carton after carton
arrives at the empty store
several young folk
receive and unpack them all
in a flurry of hard work

I’m impressed with how fast
they’ve set up this airy space
a young guy smiles
his confidence denying
that they just moved in today

a small dark woman
shows me into a large room
sparsely filled with racks
of designer used clothing
in colorful matched sets

matched pants rarely get
much wear, she sagely comments
has she read my mind
as I look for practical
plain black slacks on the racks

I amble into
a carpeted room, empty
but for my father
I slip into his arms
for our agreed upon dance

take care with my knee
I whisper as we adjust
our holds on each other
what to not to buy or buy
forgotten in this embrace

[six dream tanka on one dream]



March 20, 2009

the small dark woman
doesn’t have enough pictures
to make her boxes
an unseen chorus chimes in
“Just look underneath your chair!”


[dream tanka]



March 21, 2009

CLOSET PARTY

I sweep up the dirt
from the small closet carpet
his critical glance

why not cover it
with a bright patterned cloth
his question-demand

she buys pink and white
party decorations
her reaction

I'm not invited
to this denial party
her boy runs to me

[dreamku series on one dream]



March 22, 2009

FUMBLING MY WAY TOWARD HOME

her sudden weight loss
is amazing and looks great
lavender bikini

my envy fades
I search for my own bathing suit
and wander off
small garden hills before me
lie open to exploring

a grit-filled wind starts
I breathe through a loose shirt sleeve
dropping to all fours
I shut my eyes and crawl
fumbling my way toward home

[one dreamku & two dream tanka on one dream]



March 23, 2009

it’s the softest dream
of all from this busy night
fading as I wake
I clutch at its warm edges
like a blanket for the day

there was a young man
in my now thread bare dream
the day’s images hook
on memory but only
frustrating echos land


[two dream tanka on one dream; I had this dream on March 21, the day before what would have been Matthew's 40th birthday (he was a boy I raised who could not have been more my son if I'd birthed him myself, who was killed as a 15 year-old); I'd been feeling a sadness for a couple days that I could not quite trace and now remembering his birthday I understand. I love and miss you, Matthew, and am grateful as always for your brief life.]



March 24, 2009

the large frying pan’s
labels slide to one side
more room for my butt



March 25, 2009

NO DENT MADE

he misleads her
into thinking she's wanted
new show rehearsal

he won't look at her
her irritation trumps
her embarrassment

windowless room
she stands up for herself
no dent made



March 26, 2009

the difficult child
wants just to visit his grave
only comfort left



March 27, 2009

FEAR REALIZED

did he lock his door
when he left me sleeping in
for a little bit
I fear it’s not he returning
when I hear a door shut

a strange man enters
the room where I lie frozen
fear realized
he gives no explanation
and attempts to mash me

my angry assertion
“I’m taken!”
he lets go

a couple women
arrive for a gathering
my absent lover
arranged many days ago
then proceeded to forget

[three dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]



March 28, 2009

she’s proud to be sought
by the cops for the theft
my sexy new friend



March 29, 2009

THE SAME ANSWER

the odd little man
dressed like a wooden soldier
asks the oracle
the same question one more time
and gets the same answer

another presence
and I sway “no” slowly
back and forth
and the strange little man
holds me to stop my motion

“That’s nauseating”
he says “but I hear the ‘no’”
does he know he’s funny


[two dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]



March 30, 2009

the tiny plane he’s
cobbled together will fly
I hang it up



March 31, 2009

he dives deep into
the pool trying to drown himself
reflex takes over
his aching lungs force him up
but he tangles in a rope trap

set to prevent
just such an escape the rope
squeezes like a snake
his head barely breaking
the churning water’s surface

can or can’t he breathe
I can’t quite see through the night
shrouding the pool


[two dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]


* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Tuesday, March 03, 2009

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2009


Another difficult month, though with some lovely moments. At least in part, this post of February 7th illustrates this increasing focus on my part on growing:

my fingers grow webs
of flesh between them again
then disappear
a fellow male student says
he's developed webs sometimes

trying to prove
to her that I do grow webs
I hold my hands spread
and wait for them to appear
one small web shows up at last

better maybe
to pursue my education
what will grow, will grow

My favorite post of the month is this one of February 2nd:

a starry winter sky
over the snow hushed forest
I crane my neck up
so I’ll not miss watching
the broken moon’s spinning halves

a lone wolf still clings
to one of the small half moons
as its wobble grows
I understand the science
but it’s the wonder I love

yet I still hope
the teacher understands
that I clearly know
how covalent bonding
and breaking creates it all

[three dream tanka on one dream]

Some interesting background: I decorated a friend's Christmas tree (see photo above) this year and largely with decorations I’d made myself:

a lush wide green lawn
fringed by ancient oaks and elms
the young girl planting
a decorated Christmas pine
under a shadowy palm

a gentle woman
telling her not to over-water
roots relax in earth

And that last line is what I’m wishing for in my life as a whole.

Happy Almost Spring! Especially to all of you still digging out from under in snowy climes.


ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN FEBRUARY 2009


February 1, 2009

joy at the bottom
she’s done my laundry
even my old purple robe



February 2, 2009

a starry winter sky
over the snow hushed forest
I crane my neck up
so I’ll not miss watching
the broken moon’s spinning halves

a lone wolf still clings
to one of the small half moons
as its wobble grows
I understand the science
but it’s the wonder I love

yet I still hope
the teacher understands
that I clearly know
how covalent bonding
and breaking creates it all

[three dream tanka on one dream]



February 3, 2009

she calls to me from
the bottom of the stairwell
tossing cartridges
onto the carpeted steps
she tells me “You can have two”

but can I use these
out-dated correcting strips
doubt turns to gratitude

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



February 4, 2009

she'll run away
on a moment's notice
organized supply shelves

he assumes they'll be
intimate from their first date
booty call schedule

[dreamku on two separate dreams from the same night]



February 5, 2009

rescued from thieves
ancient golden parchment scrolls
wisdom crosses water



February 6, 2009

I put them to sleep
laid out atop each other
then start my escape
but the man on top wakes up
and smiles groggily at me

he’s letting me go
weighting the other man down
so I can flee
I kiss him lightly saying
you’re better than my own dad

[two dream tanka on one dream]



February 7, 2009

my fingers grow webs
of flesh between them again
then disappear
a fellow male student says
he's developed webs sometimes

trying to prove
to her that I do grow webs
I hold my hands spread
and wait for them to appear
one small web shows up at last

better maybe
to pursue my education
what will grow, will grow

[two dream tanka & one dreamku on one dream]



February 8, 2009

found on the sidewalk
unlabeled prescription bottle
lined with loose teeth



February 9, 2009

ALL IN A NIGHT’S WORK
(dream tanka series)


(1) THE PROLOGUE (Dream One)

the three women won’t
let me finish my story
frustration again
even expressing this need
brings me no completion


(2) THE STORY (Dream Two)

her move goes swiftly
from our shared apartment
too fast for me
I try to keep our agreements
and to be prompt as need be

things change rapidly
the large living room echos
emptiness and dust
I miss the old long bookcase
and am surprised by tears

a military man
moves into a corner
making an office
he assumes he’s welcome
and I accept his presence

curiosity piqued
I point to his game CDs
a stacked collection
he clearly expects me
to know just how to play them

frustration rises
what I don’t know, I don’t know
no matter his want
I try to play anyway
the computer screen unclear

the display flips back
to a woman’s poetry
white on black background
I can’t find the right icon
to get back to game playing




February 10, 2009

first time ever
my long-time friend pleads with me
to help her



February 11, 2009

two wizened old goats
wander around the junkyard
last of old “Blue Eyes”*

*nickname for Frank Sinatra; another dream character (a vague female nurse), whom I did not trust, told me these two goats were he.




February 12, 2009


I’m a young strong man
flying sans ship into space
floating through the stars
I don’t try using the maps
I can see in my mind

it’s much like swimming
out here in the vast cool dark
my butt lightly bumps one star
and I switch my focus
intending toward a new goal

[a pair of dream tankas on one dream; on waking I had a strong association to what I've read about The Star card: every person is a star. :-D I think I read that in reference to this Star card directly above in The Thoth Tarot.]


February 13, 2009

a lush wide green lawn
fringed by ancient oaks and elms
the young girl planting
a decorated Christmas pine
under a shadowy palm

a gentle woman
telling her not to over-water
roots relax in earth

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]




February 14, 2009

A DAY AT THE BEACH
(dreamku series on one dream)

she takes a long walk
abandoning all her stuff
sunny day at the beach

a sudden panic
why did she leave her wallet
hasty turn around

the shoreline rises
steeply from the surf’s frothy edge
crumbling hand-holds up

she’s been through this
too many times before
ease surprises

the baby she passed
on the way down is still here
her wallet isn’t

she craves perspective
and tries to take to the air
stuck on the ground

a small dark man
stands watch as she tries again
overview at last

“Thank you Deities”
she calls from the churning height --
wish fulfilled



February 15, 2009

we are making love
then come all the complaints that
I use jam glasses
for frequent drinking of water
and leave them all around

I indicate I’ll
not do this ever again
as I try to fly
out across the verdant yard
to turn down the thermostat

[two dream tanka on one dream]



February 16, 2009

he walks ahead as
always and climbs the plank stairs
I can’t catch up



February 17, 2009

the surrogate mom
reneges on the golden couple
he can’t handle it
and deserts his sad partner
who adopts on her own

[dream tanka]



February 18, 2009

of course I have
a sex life, the baby says
I'm twenty-two......months

[Other than a big chuckle at this baby’s joke, this dream sent me scrambling to see what was going on in my life 22 months ago. :-D]



February 19, 2009

tan and trim
her body resculpted
the narrow stairway climb



February 20, 2009

my sad friend and I
sing a duet changing
the last line a little
to end with the word “peace”
and does “magic” come before?

[dream tanka]



February 21, 2009

his new lover lives
on west twenty-second street
artsy neighborhood
she’s concerned about his ex
his blithe assumption: just fine

[dream tanka; That number 22 again! I really must do some more investigating of that. I've already determined what was going on in my life 22 months ago -- as a previous dream indicated might be where to look -- and had some intriguing insights. This dream has also already turned out to be mildly clairvoyant, as an occasional dream of mine is. And of course, there are 22 Major Arcana cards in The Tarot. :-D]



February 22, 2009

white puppies jostle
and line up neatly at last
their surprise salutes



February 23, 2009

hostile striped cat
I rise above its clawing reach
further, further ...



February 24, 2009

the pregnant giraffe
kicks out feebly as she flees
her stride trumps her kick



February 25, 2009

the soles of both pair
too smooth to grip the iced street
my only shoes



February 26, 2009

a toddler girl hovers
as I work on the poster
a large block of text
needs a colorful graphic
I play with fuchsia petals


[dream tanka]



February 27, 2009

over the ocean
elevated airport runways
waterfalls cleanse



February 28, 2009

what seemed wrong with her
turns out not to be the case
on the concrete bench
she makes room for the old man
who spreads out squashing her chest


* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN DECEMBER 2008

Shawms, also known as Zurnas (see December 23rd below for details and dreamku)


Sigh. This was a very difficult month. Too many activity and friendship commitments. I can especially see relationship difficulty in many of the below ‘ku and tanka. Some of the earlier dreams/kus came days and even weeks before I was conscious of certain issues they had been trying to bring my attention to. This one below, though, was clear to me as I recalled the dream. I wrote the dreamku only a couple of hours before one friendship finally clearly broke apart:

swimming along
the shallow side of the pool
hitting bottom

“Shallow” puzzled me a little bit, as our friendship has been nothing if not deep. Then it occurred to me it was saying there wasn’t far to go before it all bottomed out, in fact I was already touching it. This bottom, though, does now contain the hope that we may yet remain friends. However right now I’m in a “wait and see” space, as I go through a lot of sadness for us both.




ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN DECEMBER 2008


December 1, 2008

HUMBLED BUMBLER

Jamie Lee Curtis
leads our exercise class
I can't keep up

she hands each of us
a purple jacket to put on
extra long sleeves

I'm anxious to prove
that she's wrong
I bumble the exercises

they crowd me against the wall ... deflation


[dreamku series on one dream; that last line is a one-liner or "monoku," a form even haiku are now being written in sometimes]



December 2, 2008

I cheat with him once
does that make us a couple
he seems to think so



December 3, 2008

a young black woman
stands with the light behind her
in a gauzy gown
I exclaim that her long legs
and curves are so beautiful

[dream tanka]



December 4, 2008

a young woman and I
seduce a perturbed older man
pushing fun icons
I reach for: Reincarnation
of the Tiger*

[dream tanka]

*My immediate association to this was to that famous story "The Lady or the Tiger." LOL!



December 5, 2008

into the open air
to clear our cell connection
the slim waning moon



December 6, 2008

sky flying, no plane
the wind pushes me past home
on the oceanfront
my arms and legs tiring I
struggle to get back on path

[dream tanka]



December 7, 2008

he suddenly dumps
huge piles of books on the floor
of the library
held hostage by his displays
I feel concern for him, too

[dream tanka]



December 8, 2008

tight places
trying to tease strings out of
pockets and tangles



December 9, 2008


the lampshade they painted
with blue and purple glitter
years old birthday gift




December 10, 2008

laid across his lap
“You could play drums
on this sweet tight butt”



December 11, 2008

the house painters
threw out my copious files
the old cartons remain
my shock turns into great ire
how dare they do this to me

she’s not affected
by my mounting rage at their
cavalier treatment
she says that the files were moved
as they needed the space

but how will I get
the files back in their right boxes
they still had no right

[two dream tanka & one dreamku on one dream]



December 12, 2008

the intriguing artist
and I don’t want to talk
a laughing baby



December 13, 2008


I watch the woman shop
and assume each thrift store buy
is for herself
but she hands them all to me
as early Christmas gifts

sizes don’t matter
we agree the orange-scented
cleaner is quite good


[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



December 14, 2008

I enter the bath
all the many lights are on
I turn each one off
the one above the tub’s hard
to get at but I do

what must her husband
have thought when she asked for it
that light by the tub

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



December 15, 2008

invitation to
the new painting-singing class
unprepared teacher



December 16, 2008

dark earth tumbles from
the small hole in the felled tree
what’s emerging

[This dreamku is a good example of how writing dreamku can often lead to some important understanding of the dream. In this case, I initially used the word "log" instead of "felled tree" but not only was the syllable count unsatisfying, I knew it needed more description. When the words "felled tree" occurred I suddenly realized my identification with that tree and the emotional turmoil I've been going through recently.



December 17, 2008

he asks for someone
to be his ballet student
a small fat woman
innocently volunteers
his obvious chagrin

[dream tanka]



December 18, 2008

reviewing reveals
she stole leather slacks from
the foundational dig
a male voice proclaims that
her arrogance tripped her up

[dream tanka]



December 19, 2008

no time off
computer glitches repeat
in my dreams*

*I'm not at home so don't have my dream resources from which to write a new dreamku or tanka, and this is my first time online all day (7:00 pm). Which is by way of explaining why I'm posting a dreamku from April 2006. It's eerily timely now, as I've been noting how much more clearly I'm seeing my daily issues reflected in my dreams. I'm having an increasing problem with my second-hand flat screen monitor, so the subject of this dreamku is even rather applicable.



December 20, 2008

he says from behind
he wishes he’d get it up
yet what do I feel
against my butt answering
my own arousal

a ghost male’s member
rises firmly between us
menage-a-trois*

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]

*Sex dreams are frequently not about sex, or rather not only about sexuality. In this case, this dream is very much about how my own "standing up" for myself is becoming an extremely important issue,



December 21, 2008

voices on the stairs
outside my apartment door
stuffing my wet clothes
in the bathroom wastebasket
to hide them away

I open the door
before my good friend knocks
her “oh” of surprise

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



December 23, 2008

the finger holes on
the dark shawm* are way too big
and too far apart
my small fingers cannot reach
much less cover them to play

on the shawm’s underside
smaller close holes in a row
now I make music

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]

*The zurna is a middle-eastern wind instrument. Also called a shawm, it was played by medieval musicians. I believe it was a shawm I played around with many years ago, and it makes a very sharp loud sound (at least in my newbie hands :-D). In the dream, when I finally got some sound out of it I had to work a bit more to get a middle-eastern sort of belly-dance music sound. At the top of this post is a picture of some zurnas; the darker ones look very much like the one in the dream written about above, except that it was brass.



December 24, 2008

she tells me I should
take all of my clothes off
a loft gathering

his perturbed hello
a man who'd seen me naked
before I backed out

[two dreamku on one dream]



December 25, 2008

the anxious actress
prepares to take a leap
for the movie shot
the dark ground and narrow stream
constructed from brown carpet

clearly she can make
the short leap across the stream
her hesitation
the wall rising straight up
from the stream’s opposite bank

[two dream tanka on one dream]



December 26, 2008

CLOSETED*

the small dark man
makes intense love to me
open door

an old friend
wrongly believes he's dying
I just crave sex

very muddy shoes
my lover says they'll find
and hose me off

I want to be found
but don't want them to know it
large empty closet

*[a dreamku series on one dream from 3/28/08; I don't want to go into all the details, but this dream is proving to have had some clairvoyant elements to it. It also illustrates the problem with clairvoyant dreams -- at least for me. I'm rarely able to identify precognition at the time of the dream. It's only apparent when something from a dream clearly occurs. I suppose this is not truly a problem -- again, for me at least -- as I have nothing invested in "knowing the future." I just find it intriguing that we humans can sometimes do this. Even in my Tarot work I rarely look for future information, but focus on obtaining advice and guidance for my "here and now" issues. Which is precisely what I do with my dream work. Any looking to the future is more like that which we all do when trying to understand the possible consequences to decisions we are pondering.]



December 27, 2008

old workplaces
empty even of sorrow
the past laid to rest*

*[This dreamku was posted previously, on July 16, 2006. I've been yearning for this sort of emptiness recently. Sigh. I also keep recalling an expression I saw on a poster in a psychotherapist's office many, many years ago: The only way out, is through.]



December 28, 2008

what was she
that toddler – a fairy child?
dream recorded too late



December 29, 2008

the souls of dead mice
till the dark earth
what will grow here?*

*[Although written two years ago and posted on May 3, 2006 here, this one has a resonance now for me: the time of year and the changes in my life ... plus those souls of dead mice -- as opposed to living ones -- has always intrigued me. I'm not as spooked by mice as many of my women friends, but I would not say I particularly like them and certainly don't want them in my home space. The mouse souls in this dream, though, are in their more natural habitat and doing something that can support new growth. So the dream/ku has always felt rather positive to me. Much like one of the basic meanings for The Death card in the Tarot: clearing away the old so that the new can grow.]



December 30, 2008

swimming along
the shallow side of the pool
hitting bottom



December 31, 2008

she somehow affords
to visit me cross country
this much missed best friend
someone claims it’s not for me
but to attend a health fair

her acquaintance’s
assumption that she knows all
a swipe I duck under

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Saturday, November 29, 2008

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN NOVEMBER 2008



It’s been one of those rather difficult months. I had several emotional meltdowns and have been somatizing a lot. I’ve had more physical malaise in the last two and half months than in the previous two and a half years. Today I’m coping with a ripening head cold. All of which indicates how stressed out I’ve let myself become. As I read through this month’s dreamku I was struck that the posts for November 23 and November 20 may have some wisdom to offer me. They are from two dreams (possibly one, I’m not sure) from one night. Although I initially posted them out of date order, they were definitely dreamed in the order immediately below:

(posted November 23, 2008)

he drives us off a cliff
into a ripe cornfield that’s
a full story tall
we fall slowly and land
safely amidst the green stalks

he wants to drive straight
ahead immediately
sure that he knows best
I want to check out options
to the right? to the left?


(posted November 20, 2008)

I stand in a field
of fully ripe golden grain
soft earth vibrations
starting around me grain stalks
bend gracefully to the ground

a crop circle grows
spiraling out through the field
awe in the morning

That November 20th posting was such a wonderful dream experience. I was at the center of glorious mystery. On reading the November 23rd tanka pair in which there’s a fall and then disagreement on how to proceed, I extract this advice from the subsequent November 20th dream’s images: stay centered in the mystery of life as it circles around you. I’m also inclined to interpret the first two tanka as representing left brain -- thinking, linear, either/or responses to life, and the November 20th post to right brain -- intuiting, spiraling, not either/or but both and more experience. I’ve wandered way too often from my more natural tendency to right brain experience over the past couple of months and am endlessly grateful for the November 20th dream post’s awesome reminder to come home far more frequently. Nay, to recognize that I am always at home.



ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN NOVEMBER 2008

November 1, 2008

the glowing globe falls
in the water off dockside
terrifying everyone
this is a world invasion
we prepare to sail off

I start screwing
one of the four corner poles
into a boat’s deck
but find that it’s way too tall
hitting the dock over-hang

back on solid ground
I say, yes, my family
are mobsters all
but they are still my family
and my ties to them alive

gossip starts to spread
about my relatives:
willing collaborators

[three dream tanka & one dreamku, on one dream]



November 2, 2008

the closing comment
“all the guards are gone”
should I be worried?



November 3, 2008

the bus/elevator
makes a stop but it’s not
the last or even right
one for us all, it’s just
another along the way

[dream tanka]



November 4, 2008

all stores I was wont
to buy binge food in are closed
huge sighs of relief



November 5, 2008

I click on the icon
and a small vague ghost rises
she tells me to guess
what she has to offer me
her black and white stripes wavering

I have no trouble
stating what this young genie
has bottled for me
when she quietly questions:
but what do I need of you

[two dream tanka on one dream]



November 6, 2008

I do not welcome
his sexual advances
in the empty lobby
later he proudly gossips
that he’d laid hands on me

[dream tanka]



November 7, 2008

she arrogantly says
(as if none of us noticed)
that the office is closed
as always I ignore her:
this time bomb in denial

[dream tanka]



November 8, 2008

[see photo at top of post]

surprise greeting
a grinning tiger's whiskers
tickle my face

[The Siberian Tiger (and by extension all tigers) is one of my power animals; Horse is the other. So when a tiger or horse shows up in a dream it has special significance to me. In this case, Tiger was waking me unusually gently to the need to be really focused in the immediate moment. There’s also something in this dream image about a need to be more assertive; I felt that the tiger’s expression softened a more usual association of aggression into assertion.]



November 9, 2008

I'm disappointed
when he makes a quick attempt
to kiss her not me
as the subway train doors close
he blows her another kiss

[dream tanka]



November 10, 2008

he’s younger than I
and we’d not met up in years
convenient marriage
I decide it might work out
as he was married before

[dream tanka]



November 11, 2008

his worry showing
my lover watches as I
enjoy the rock group
the sad refrain they sing:
I’ll always land on darker ground

[dream tanka]



November 12, 2008

my uncle reams out
my clearly downcast father
as I defend him
my uncle turns on me
with his vituperation

I have problems but
that doesn’t mean I’m worthless:
my forceful response

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



November 13, 2008

in the days she stands
on the long police line-up
her pregnancy swells
she’s there to contain the thugs
not to be booked for a crime

[dream tanka]



November 14, 2008

the star presses him
against the wall with her full-
term pregnant belly
his fear and trembling fades as
she tells him he’s the father

[dream tanka]



November 15, 2008

young Clark Kent drives me
to a well-known necking spot
asking if it’s OK
I assent and feel only
brief concern for my safety

on the way to neck
we clean a gunky glass disk
joy at getting clear

[dream tanka & dreamku on one dream]



November 16, 2008

the spacious ranch home
is owned by a mobster
a funeral’s faked
to draw a hit man’s focus
off the mobster family

[dream tanka]



November 17, 2008

my old haunted home
I tell guests to just intend
and a ghost will come



November 18, 2008

the beauty pageant begins
both men and women entrants
parade one by one
each waiting in the spotlight for
their gorgeous female escort

the last three entrants
wait side-by-side for escorts
an announcer says
each of the 50 contestants
stands for a different state

[two dream tanka on one dream]



November 19, 2008

I don’t see the cliff
as I park my motorcycle
scramble from the edge



November 20, 2008

I stand in a field
of fully ripe golden grain
soft earth vibrations
starting around me grain stalks
bend gracefully to the ground

a crop circle grows
spiraling out through the field
awe in the morning

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]



November 21, 2008

AN ANCIENT GOD RISING**

she won't let me go
til I give what I owe her
paid receipt ignored

captive overnight
I can't find any toothpaste
women observe

I cling to outrage
at being held hostage
where's my purse

how's your daughter
I ask my captor
she doesn't let go

a nice white-haired man
dozens of plane flight brochures
but none for my home

my admiration
his encyclopedia
of esoteric wisdom

altered state
The Fool* pushes a pharoah
into a grave

downed after struggle
the pharoah
in viscous liquid

a God of Babylon
rises from grey-aqua muck
huge genitals pend

[*The Fool, a combination of the one in the Tarot and the sort of fool Kings had in their courts.]
[**Dreamku series on one dream from September 2007 -- when I had this dream it precipitated research into Gods of Babylon; given I'm finding this dream intriguing again I should probably read up once more on the God this dream seemed to refer to (I think I recall somehow determining it was Ea). :-D]



November 23, 2008

he drives us off a cliff
into a ripe cornfield that’s
a full story tall
we fall slowly and land
safely amidst the green stalks

he wants to drive straight
ahead immediately
sure that he knows best
I want to check out options
to the right? to the left?

[two dream tanka on one dream]



November 24, 2008

I take raw chopped beef
from the stove top frying pan
cook, and savor it
an older man tells a younger
to roll the rest paper thin

they question if I
have taken any beef or not
why don’t they see?

[one dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]



November 25, 2008

there’s a ghost in the
room behind, right now, a man
a minute man



November 26, 2008

we both dream of gays
mine fill a large store window
giving sexy massages



November 27, 2008

his stare concerns me
as I climb down from the tree
determination prevails
I retrieve my crumpled words
by the muddy lotus pond

[dream tanka]



November 28, 2008

repeat frustration
images I can’t connect
though I know they do



November 29, 2008

we quietly whisk
the toddler girl away
sex in public



November 30, 2008

at the co-worker
cookout on the large green lawn
I apologize
that my wide butt’s in his way
he says he rather likes it

[dream tanka]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Monday, September 01, 2008

ALL DREAMKU POSTED IN AUGUST 2008



my worn old guitar
sits on the coffee table
caressing its curves
he says it may be battered
but it's still quite musical


Taiga Image: cropped and altered, from Picasso's "Group of Female Nudes"
Dream Tanka: P. Kelly
I hope to use images for haiku and tanka more this way, i.e. to unmask the metaphor of the dream.


What a busy month! I’ve got quite a life brewing here.  This capping dreamku to a dream tanka pair of August 29th says it all:

all I left or lost
will slowly be replaced here
recycling magic



ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN AUGUST 2008


August 1, 2008

he doesn't let me
collide with the stumbling drunks
on a rain slick street
I continue with my latest
difficult delivery

[dream tanka]



August 2, 2008

we board the subway
and all of the lights go off
I grip her walker
and ask if it’s OK to
hold on to keep my balance

[dream tanka]



August 3, 2008

two women and I
follow another woman
whose wise words need heart
I tell the women near me
we’re the counterbalances

[dream tanka]



August 5, 2008
DREAM OF DREAMING A NIGHTMARE*

In the dream, I let myself fall asleep even knowing I may be vulnerable to whatever is after me.

up my back
a fog of seeping darkness
hot breath
I toss my shoulders in this dream within a dream and shake it off, but the invasive demon-shaped dark returns instantly. I hear my stepmother typing in the other room.

soundless cries
rip from my throat
Ma! Mom! Mother!
In this dream within a dream, I know she’ll come if only I can make enough noise. No sound above a rough croak results from my strenuous efforts.

a loud sharp yell
bursts from me at last
I dream I wake

* * * * * * * *


A dream haibun from May 2008
This is a dreamku from May 2008, but one I wrote about a friend's dream about me. :-) The "Seer" is me and the "I" is her.

August 6, 2008

he’s moved the paintings
on my walls farther apart
morning after



August 7, 2008

tight black pant suit
he comments slyly on my weight
but continues flirting



August 8, 2008

fireside easy chair
the purple Irish Setter
won’t stop licking me



August 9, 2008

liquid paper cartoon
iron rubs out the white face
on the dark wood floor



August 10, 2008

a rock stands against
the sea's passionate assault
the Seer knows I watch*

*


August 11, 2008

[see dream taiga at top of this post]



August 12, 2008

the healer’s neither
blind nor really a healer
I walk up to him
and expose the false healings
but let the faked blindness go

[dream tanka]



August 13, 2008

long estranged and gone
my once best friend confronts me:
recognize this!



August 14, 2008

I'm a large nude man
in a dark subway station
after a short swim
I pray my towel hides me
then hear: look up the word "chill"

[dream tanka]



August 15, 2008

I jump off the ledge
and as always fall slowly
soft tip-toe landing



August 16, 2008

I don’t like any
complicated dream theory
and the man agrees
I’m stunned then when he jumps out
while driving me in our car

[dream tanka]



August 17, 2008

I lift my tom and
a female cat to my breast
welcome weight



August 18, 2008

where have I seen this
terra cotta bowl before
is this another sick bed
my caring will rest beside
or just the past curving through

[dream tanka]



August 19, 2008

I ask the tall man
to pull the bus’s stop cord
second thoughts



August 20, 2008

prisoner-warden
he reaches under the bed
for something important



August 21, 2008

the handsome stranger
presses himself against me
talking about food
my body responds to him
but I tell him to step back

he goes on talking
again angling against me
in the empty store
we agree it’s not the rich
who bear the weight of the past

[dream tanka pair, from one dream]



August 22, 2008

I enjoy his joy
at his shy son’s singing
many part harmony



August 23, 2008

NEW YORK DREAMING FROM CALIFORNIA*

in my robe I walk
all the way to Forest Hills
from my Elmhurst home
I suddenly realize
I’ve no money to get back

after much walking
I take a yellow taxi
then climb the three flights
for cash to pay the driver
he’ll have to trust I’ll return

* dream tanka pair, from one dream



August 24, 2008

she trembles grasping
her vacation photographs
do you need scissors
to open them up, I ask
my ancient pain just like hers

[dream tanka]



August 25, 2008

for exercise class
I rationalize wearing
my lace bra and slip
she tactfully talks with me:
this will discomfit others

[dream tanka]



August 26, 2008

street fighting neighbors
I slam my shutters in fear
and wait for the cops



August 27, 2008

I don’t know the rules
but still enter the foot race
through carpeted halls
two racers taunt as I stretch
I won’t let them get to me

[dream tanka]



August 28, 2008

there’s a mountain
of hand laundry to be done
I hear voices rise
from my stuff-packed living room
two strange young couples greet me

he extends a hand
“let me introduce myself...”*
new friend or burglar

*
I woke singing this line, from The Stones song “Sympathy for the Devil”

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]



August 29, 2008

he eats only half
of the large wrapped sandwich
then just puts it down
I pick it up and go find
a legal dump site for it

I show him the piles
of junk awaiting pickup
graceful old bottles
he wants to give to others
I find a new sewing box

all I left or lost
will slowly be replaced here
recycling magic

[two dream tanka and a dreamku all on one dream]



August 30, 2008

he and his woman
make good their crazy escape
from the audience
he quickly slits her throat
and returns to watch the show

[dream tanka]



August 31, 2008

the presence predicts
I'll freeze at first ghost contact
but I'm on a roll
across the bridge by starlight
feet first on a swift gurney

[dream tanka]
 
‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN JULY 2008

[Image: Temperance (XIV) in The Mary El Tarot]

This month’s crop is probably the least viable that I’ve had since I started doing this in May of 2006. Which makes sense, as in the middle of the month I had very minimal dream recall, and what recall I did have I was lazy about recording and writing any dream poems about. You’ll notice more dream tanka than usual. I was filling in the days for which I had not one dreamku that I’d written or cared to post, with dream tanka I had written earlier. Most of the dream tanka below were written only a matter of several weeks earlier, but by and large, the dreamku (and dream tanka) that I post here are much more current even than that, so it feels like a bit of a “cheat.”

I just read through again to select one or two to highlight this introduction and I found a few more than I had remembered feeling were OK. Here’s one from July 7th:

the spear slips home
“We are connected
by what pierces”


And this pair from one dream of July 12th gives me a satisfying chuckle:

CHANNELING

I start channeling
from my first row seat
a man doubts me

my eyes refocus
I call him by his
many secret names


Oh, and one more, this one from July 16th I like because it is probably the most truly haiku-like dreamku I’ve written in a long time:

her silhouette
before a plate glass window
the choppy lake



ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN JULY 2008

July 1, 2008

small window-shaped scenes
linked left to right
her new name



July 2, 2008

I pat the stuffed toy
as I rest it in the chair
purple elephant



July 3, 2008

matchless a wild fire looms on the mountain*

* This is a one-liner that became part of a haibun I posted here, about the wild fire on the mountains over Goleta, CA where I live. "Matchless" in addition to referencing the sight of flames on the mountainside, ashes falling like a snow flurry, and dense grey sky with yellowish light from the wild fire, is a pun on my lack of matches to light candles when the electricity went out. It is not a dreamku, if rather surreal as well as raising memories of 9/11 and the many black-outs I lived through in New York city.



July 4, 2008

he's filed for divorce
she leans forward happily
to show her cleavage*

*HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! This dreamku is about the only one I could find in my notebook that had a celebratory feel to it. :-D



July 5, 2008

two-sided surfaces
Mariah Carey judges me
or so I assume



July 6, 2008

I stir up
her bowl full of cereal
the sweet squares rise



July 7, 2008

the spear slips home
“We are connected
by what pierces”



July 8, 2008

though she’s grateful
she wants her toddler son back
the boat docks



July 9, 2008

THE SPIRAL DANCE*

we spiral slowly
down a long church entranceway
the young pastor leaves

one by one, just men's
ancestry is verified
spiraling roll call

one by one, we all find
places to stand along the hall
a lone Jewish man

I stop walking
and join my Jewish friend
comfort against the wall

friends of my youth
she pushes his empty wheelchair
out of the spiral

she has mourned
his death for a full year
she lets the chair go

* A dreamku series covering one dream.



July 10, 2008

cliff hanger
I pull word after word from
the star-filled dark

(a dreamku written recently on a vague visual memory of a 40 year old dream)



July 11, 2008

a new generation
of eucalyptus thrives here
on being cut down
I ask they save for transplant
the tree trunks I helped nurture

(a dream tanka)



July 12, 2008

CHANNELING

I start channeling
from my first row seat
a man doubts me

my eyes refocus
I call him by his
many secret names



July 13, 2008

SHOPPING TRIP

we go through
the glossy old catalog
long gone friend

I wipe each page
with a rose scented cloth
what’ll we buy this time



July 14, 2008

BUGGED

grey carpeted room
they call us guests
but we know better

small lumps of carpet
scurry by my feet
semi-alive bug spies



July 15, 2008

gas station speech
Obama* fills up while
his guests go to church

*[the presumed Democratic nominee for US President]



July 16, 2008

her silhouette
before a plate glass window
the choppy lake



July 17, 2008

pointing left she says
that one’s great just for women
empty white sand beach
I head for the only shade
stripping quickly as I walk



July 18, 2008

flat nighttime shadows
fill the cold statue garden
between two columns
lie photos for a collage
picked only for their feathers



July 19, 2008

CALENDAR READING*

prairie calendar
black and white horses in front
of a grand oak tree

auspicious
for difficult meetings
any month's sixth day

*Those familiar with the Tarot might see The Chariot (VII) in the first dreamku of this pair, and The Lovers (VI) in the second.



July 20, 2008

from his human form
he shifts to his core body
gills await water
green scales refract in sunrise
proof the infant is not his



July 21, 2008

blurry pastel dreams
of not being prepared
my stepmother hovers



July 22, 2008

my deceased horse-cat
says Regis Philbin just died
long scrolling obit*

*The odd thing with this dreamku's source dream is that it was such a convincing speech by the dead horse-cat, that I was almost surprised to see Regis alive on his show that morning. LOL! (Who’s impressionable?)



July 23, 2008

the soldier wounds himself
with a plant bulb he uproots
"April is the cruelest month"*
to keep fighting at the front
with newborn babies at home

* The quoted words open the t.s. eliot poem "The Wasteland." I heard them in the dream several times.



July 24, 2008

on his lengthy leg wound
a water mocassin
beneath a huge black leech
we pull the placid snake out
its stitching shines in the moonlight



July 25, 2008

out of our shared past
the scantily clad young boy
comes for the package
shivering and bold, he says
why should I deliver it?



July 26, 2008

reformed gunfighter
he kisses the topaz ring
he gave me



July 27, 2008

tiger tracking
my poetic perspective's
the missing essential



July 28, 2008

WALKING AWAY

he criticizes
my hiking stick flute playing*
gray-walled conference

their endless fight
angered I yell "cut it out"
leaderless group

proof of no ego
her prompt and quiet exit
from the argument

* I just recently bought an actual bamboo walking stick that is also a transverse flute. And I can't play it very well as the finger holes are a little too far apart for my small hands (I've had this problem with other flutes I did not get a chance to check out beforehand). I'll eventually find the right angle at which to hold my left hand and fingers, which are the most problematic. What playing I can do at this point has a really nice mellow sound.



July 29, 2008

I pull the names
of war dead out of the listing
observant old vet



July 30, 2008

new home, young brother
I pull the divider-curtain
between he and me



July 31, 2008

the baseball cap beak
of her black nun-like habit
early client


* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Monday, June 30, 2008

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN JUNE 2008


Phew! What a month. The ups and downs have been enough to put me off even thinking about ever going on a roller coaster again (not that I would have before this month...:-D). I can’t really choose a favorite out of this batch, though I do sort of like this one, from June 12:

he sweats over singing
the old ballad properly
boxer outside the ring


I chuckled on remembering the dream. I’ve started singing in the chorus here and it’s raised a slew of old family issues for me (my father was a professional singer, and his parents sang in Vaudeville, etc.). But I’ve been very determined not only to give it a really good shot, but to enjoy it.

Ultimately, I think the following dream tanka from June 6 draws me most. If nothing else this month I was nudged again and again to see how truly mysterious life is at core and to be nourished by that:

THE LONG WALK

A very long walk
through brick halls to the kitchen
following their leads.
At the center her husband
cups mystery in his palm.



ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN JUNE 2008



June 1, 2008

a son plays poker
to engage his distant father
old back alley game



June 2, 2008

she thanks Johnny Depp
for the strawberry ice cream
so many dark seeds



June 3, 2008

embrace from behind
a lively blond woman
only vaguely recalled



June 4, 2008

he tries to cut
my little yellow purse strap
subway encounter



June 5, 2008

DANCING WITH A STAR
(experimental dream tanka pair from one dream)

The rich star and I
dance together for a while.
She is deeply moved
when I say: Do not let your
bright fire burn you out.

As we catch our breaths,
she pulls out her pen and asks:
How can I help you?
Afraid she’ll feel used again
I can’t think of anything.



June 6, 2008

THE LONG WALK
(dream tanka)

A very long walk
through brick halls to the kitchen
following their leads.
At the center her husband
cups mystery in his palm.



June 7, 2008

UPLIFTING
(dream tanka)

the floor of the lift
dissolves from under my feet
softly suddenly
at the bottom of the cliff
I grasp for hand holds back up



June 8, 2008

joyful desert hike
I move my new backup disks
to deeper cover



June 9, 2008

distant view
that dark haired Don Juan hurries
to help the new maid



June 10, 2008

getting ready
no need to thaw the soup,
tomorrow’s Thanksgiving



June 11, 2008

tryst in the dark
she, a liberated woman
or he, the seducer



June 12, 2008

he sweats over singing
the old ballad properly
boxer outside the ring



June 13, 2008

WISE WOMAN*

The car is crowded
with a family’s seven kids.
One teenage daughter
gives birth during the long ride,
she is now considered wise.

*"Wise woman" is a positive term for crone or elder. Although not specifically referenced as such in the dream, it was my immediate association on waking and therefore has relevance to the dream. On googling it I came across the Native American Hopi Indian statement "When the Grandmothers speak the earth will be healed."



June 14, 2008

WE EACH TRY
(dreamku & tanka pair from same dream)

we each try on
various sized mailing tubes
orderly chaos

I put her in a
long mailing tube to help her
it’s quite difficult
to fit down the curved sink drain
I let her breathe, then try again



June 15, 2008

she wants me I him he her no exit*

* "No Exit" is the title of an old movie in which just this scenario is a metaphor for Hell. The dream did not feel "hellish," I was only vaguely disappointed during it. However, I frequently do not feel the deep underlying emotions of a dream until I wake and work with it. On writing out this dream and recognizing its "no exit" triangle I did have much deeper feeling than vague disappointment.



June 16, 2008

baseball size droppings
thud all around
birds perch high above



June 17, 2008

children in the surf
my two empty satchels
under the moonlight



June 18, 2008

a young boy shows us
how to work the locked door
starlit beach



June 19, 2008

first day on the job
lost in the large office
I wash my hair instead



June 20, 2008

the dark-haired beauty
aces the entrance exam
pedicurist school



June 21, 2008

WHERE IN THE WORLD
(dreamku pair from one dream)

flying to Barbados
north of Africa, I say
she overshoots twice

rooftop discotheque
checking door after door
for Barbados



June 22, 2008

he kisses each eye
but doesn’t get to my mouth
a sick woman needs help



June 23, 2008

CYCLES
(dreamku pair from one dream)

a large plaque of white
uncooked pastry dough
her motorcycle logo

transparent around
and open at the front
my motorcycle shield



June 24, 2008

he rolls end-over-end
in his rose-colored carton
life on the streets



Jun 25, 2008

SUBWAY*

I rush again down
subway stairs to a station
this time strange men pace
in the dusty dark corners
dare I ask one to help me

dropped conversation
an old male friend turns to ask
if I want a token

where am I where is there to go subway

*A dream tanka, a regular dreamku, and a one-line dreamku, written about the same dream.



June 26, 2008

one way only
the relaxing train ride
up the rocky coast



June 27, 2008

LOSS

she lost a child
he, his mentor and friend
they keep their own counsels

he softly asks
where she’ll send her writing now
she answers, Cleveland



June 28, 2008

IF ONLY

grief tears out of me
before the plate glass window
bitter relief

grief’s turbulent wake
if only she’d lived and he’d
not been abusive



June 29, 2008

he dictates a note
about a dying tenant
slumlord doctor



June 30, 2008

MOVEMENT*

the bright light
of the popular movement
seductive young man

crowded boulevard
he tells us to spread out
and form a circle

too many seekers
a man mashed up against me
from behind

I step away from
the entranced circling group
the masher runs off

he stuffs something
in the trunk of his waiting car
my grey coat is gone

old convertible
I describe its long lines
to the police

the loose green fringe
of a borrowed shawl
safety pin repair


*A dream from June 28, 2008, in seven dreamku.


* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,





**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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Friday, November 30, 2007

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN NOVEMBER 2007

Journal Cover Collage #5, by Patricia Kelly


I really have no obvious reason as I usually do to have the above image head up this month’s dreamku. I can only “justify” it based on my knowledge that the vast majority of the dreamku below are addressing my impending move cross country to California, at least in part. And that horses for me symbolize motion, the physical body, activity (among many other things). I feel like I’m calling on the spirit of work horses to help me accomplish all that I have to do to make this big transition. Horses like that golden Belgian on the right/middle. Strong, sturdy, broad-backed, patient .... That last is where I need a work horse’s example and inspiration the most. Patience has never been my strong suit.

The only theme I can see below is that of people relationships. Which is not surprising as I’ve been overwhelmed by memories, as I sort through virtually my entire life to see what I need or want to take with me, and what it is timely and best to let go of. This choosing to let go applies both literally and figuratively. And it is an intense and oftentimes sad process, but also very liberating.


ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN NOVEMBER 2007


November 4, 2007

a hurt kitten?
no, a small human baby
guilted again



November 5, 2007

no more near misses
the dark shadow-car
leads us through the night



November 6, 2007

man in the doorway
a baby and puppy speed
to another door



November 7, 2007

a vague presence
must I be forgiven
to forgive him



November 8, 2007

his delight as I
hug him passionately
who’s more surprised



November 9, 2007

loving mother
she’s to play Michael Jackson
in the movie



November 10, 2007

they serve us rare steaks
then start cutting them for us
can I stomach so much?



November 11, 2007

very condensed codes
have songs within them
our rewards



November 12, 2007

each has a mailbox
in the white plaster wall
first, find the beam stud



November 13, 2007

a dog catcher
the mangled ear mutt’s gut hunch
saves the strays again



November 14, 2007

my crazy houseguest
does not speak English
her short spiked hair



November 15, 2007

overwhelmed
she’s let the check deposits
pile up



November 16, 2007

mice skitter in
and out of a neighbor’s home
my dirty kitchen



November 17, 2007

Harmony’s loan
I play her oddly shaped
new didjeridu



November 18, 2007

he’s grown his hair
shoulder length again
strands of memory



November 19, 2007

I unearth my old
art high school entrance exam
that moving painting



November 20, 2007

she plays a death song
on her new didjeridu
slightly large mouthpiece



November 21, 2007

he proudly proclaims
how he’s going to change
trial testimony



November 22, 2007

my first roommate
walks in and out of a dream
exclamation point



November 23, 2007

the packed closet shelf
still has room on it
anything’s possible



November 24, 2007

dance invitation
I stand with my back against
the wooden wall



November 25, 2007

a blind friend’s tracks
I’ve the same trouble feeling
my way through the dark



November 26, 2007

her tee shirt
ripe with cherries
he touches one



November 27, 2007

the short haired girl
wears tough guy clothing
music lesson



November 28, 2007

inserted in front
of the foreign growth
uncommon implant



November 29, 2007

THE BEGINNING

I stand
by the outbound side
an aching to go back

the highway so like
many I’ve walked by before
first steps



November 30, 2007

for being taught how
she gives him credit I’m due
lesson learned again

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

Roswila

[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Friday, August 31, 2007

ALL DAILY DREAMKU FOR AUGUST 2007

Black Madonna, Notre Dame des Neiges/Our Lady of the Snows


I don’t really know how to make any sort of sensible overview of this month’s dreamku. The past few month’s have been a mixed batch, but this month’s is even more so. Hm, as I typed that and was thinking of the Black Madonna above (see dreamku and note of 8/31 below), I realized the one constant thread through these is “mother.” Even when not overtly stated, some are referencing “mother issues.”

A little background: my mother died when I was ten and worse than her passing was how my family dealt – or rather did not deal with it, afterwards and in subsequent years. Yes, family in general seems to have been a theme this month. Not surprising as I’m preparing (hopefully) to move out of this apartment I’ve lived in for 23 years. A place where I’ve grown deeper and more nourishing roots than I’ve ever had in the previous two-thirds of my life. A personal “motherland,” if you will.


ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN AUGUST 2007

August 1, 2007

woodland road bank
the comedian keeps her
from tumbling



August 2, 2007

darkened room
they don’t like my gift
of two golden dolls



August 3, 2007

memory check
I’m driven back to that old
Irish bar



August 4, 2007

feeling ignored
I leave the grand dinner
costly move



August 5, 2007

he feeds his pet rat
human-shaped ice cream
it thanks him



August 6, 2007

if I let him stab her
he’ll not cut me
I fight to disarm him



August 7, 2007

MOVING

the staircase falls
against the wall on the right
moving day

we can anchor
the leaning stairs on the left
wide gap

we look for supplies
to straighten up the staircase
the way out



August 8, 2007

he plays the game
I try to make my point
tennis mismatch



August 9, 2007

we replay
our mother’s early death
nothing changes



August 10, 2007

better days
I cajole myself awake
singing an old song



August 11, 2007

the very tall girl
is a champ at basketball
I play low ball



August 12, 2007

all its old buttons
morph into strings
black desert boot



August 13, 2007

four point landing
the feral kitten pulls out
strands of my hair



August 14, 2007

the rally chooses
Oprah as their candidate
no fuss, no bother



August 15, 2007

I take notes as he
rattles off his beliefs
unknown driver



August 16, 2007

his dark jacket
has a large back pleat
my future lover



August 17, 2007

they refuse to treat
her new skull fracture
a knotted old one



August 18, 2007

she proclaims the
miscarriage was not her fault
he fakes agreement



August 19, 2007

her dying mother
fills us in on the dangers
subway dust



August 20, 2007

he wants to put them
a mile above it all
no safety



August 21, 2007

we publish romance
novels from my kitchen
food fight!



August 22, 2007

I can’t count on
any face values
Hitler’s currency



August 23, 2007

they upset me
so I leave the meeting
their vague amusement

she comes after me
to get me to go back
a fresh goal calls



August 24, 2007

hairy naked men
climb from the didjeridu
a prowling man



August 25, 2007

A QUESTION OF IDENTITY

everyone tells him
he's something else
confused alien

the truth is he's
Portugese-Australian
bearded companion



August 26, 2007

fear at night
the grandmother graciously
sleeps beside me



August 27, 2007

chance meeting
her pictures and words still
do not match up



August 28, 2007

he tries to fit
his T.V. in a past home
is this allowed



August 29, 2007

SYNOPSIS

our mother
falls unconscious at the wheel
I pinch her

my brother and I
struggle to reach the pedals
careening

night under the trees
I pull
the emergency brake



August 30, 2007

they find our secret
computer subdrive
soap opera accounts



OLD DREAM/NEW 'KU*

through the plate glass
I watch a building collapse
dark woman and child

he breaks the pane that
keeps the woman and child out
I fear hurting them


*I found my notes for the 32 year-old dream the above are based on yesterday, scribbled in the back inside flap of a crumbling paperback book. Synchronistically, both then and now I am faced with an emotionally difficult move to a new home (then it involved leaving a woman and child I'd been living with for years). I see a lot more in that dream than I'll go into here. And simply add that the book the dream was scribbled in was "The Divine Milieu," spiritual writings of Teilhard de Chardin, a christian Father. So there was a bit of The Black Madonna in this dream; the reminder is welcome today. Ah, I just realized these are the last dreamku for August. Somehow that seems appropriate.

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

Roswila

[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Friday, June 01, 2007

ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN MAY 2007

The Moon card, Thalia Took


This month's crop of dreamku seems to have a split personality. The mood changes from rather positive to increasingly negative after the very middle of the month. I’m tempted to say that’s a result of my moon phase hyper-sensitivity. Gibbous moons – the phase just before full – always agitate me unpleasantly in some way. Sometimes effecting me as much as a week to ten days before the actual gibbous moon appears. A full (Blue) moon phase is just now passing and so hopefully will my negativity. Though honestly there’s a lot else stirring up the gunk and mud in my emotional life than just moon phases. But maybe without the added influence of a gibbous moon I’ll be better able to make some very needed changes.

I am surprised there aren’t many more apartment or house images in this month’s dreamku. I’ve been focused on re-arranging my apartment now that my roommate has moved out, and thoroughly enjoying it. Though I hasten to admit I don’t enjoy all the body aches and pains. :-) I’ve been (and still am) doing more lifting and cleaning and packing away and throwing out than I’ve done in the 22 years I’ve been here. Maybe some of the emotional upset in the second half of this month's dreamku is also about re-arranging and clearing out on an inner level. I certainly hope so!


ALL DAILY DREAMKU POSTED IN MAY 2007


May 1, 2007

the red cardinal
with his mate and three eggs
my new roommates



May 2, 2007

have you seen
anyone from the new moon?
my sun burned belly



May 3, 2007

feet of clay
her old acquaintances
follow in his dust




May 4, 2007

getting hosed
I’m left to clean up
their old disguises



May 5, 2007

they don’t get me
teaching by confession
can be tricky



May 6, 2007

I soak the quilt
and the women in the tub
laughter bubbles



May 7, 2007

hyper toddler
I grab her leash so I
can focus elsewhere



May 8, 2007

we try to upload
to her bed in outer space
no response



May 9, 2007

she demands I get
sugar for her little girl
it’s all relative



May 10, 2007

dream answer
I search now only for one,
three and eleven

[Note: Numbers have extremely strong Tarot relationships for me after over 30 years studying the Tarot. Before I was even really awake, right out of this dream I thought "Ah! I'm yearning for magic (I, The Magician); mothering (III, The Empress); and muscle (XI, Strength). This thought also illustrates an aspect of this poet's mind, and probably others': auto-alliteration. :-D]



May 11, 2007

a native woman
leads us through lush foothills
a large garlic bulb



May 12, 2007

black ballots, white print
each family member votes
on the change



May 13, 2007

I swim using my
extra lung alveoli
surface breakthrough



May 14, 2007

TRIPLETS
(dreamed Mother's Day, May 13, 2007)

hitchhiker
the yellow duckling takes
my hair for feathers

three of us play catch
in the surf with the large egg
darkness through a crack

a broad shouldered
narrow-hipped woman hatches
new Qabala* coach

[*Qabala: ancient Hebrew mysticism; correspondences can be seen between The Tarot and its Tree of Life]



May 15, 2007

she cuts a ragged
slice from the huge onion
why do I help



May 16, 2007

I let the crowd
force me out of the theatre
panic attack



May 17, 2007

too many parents
agree with the new regime
twisted offspring



May 18, 2007

they evict
family after family
organized chaos



May 19, 2007

she bites right
through her lower lip
bitter taste



May 20, 2007

of wine and roses
our drinking’s bad enough but
who might we subvert



May 21, 2007

almost everyone
in the room loses someone
serial killer



May 22, 2007

DANCING IN THE DARK
(a pair from a dream, Mary 20, 2007)

I see intriguing
spots dancing in the dark
she sees points of light

spring snow flurry
she points up the need to be
a light among lights



May 23, 2007

she hugs popcorn
to her chest for comfort
parting of the ways



May 24, 2007

my parents up front,
I sleep but do I dream
bumming a ride



May 25, 2007

the flesh above
that ancient heart wound puckers
the body remembers



May 26, 2007

DANCING BACKWARDS
(from a dream of May 21, 2007)

what a kick
they awkwardly practice
the jive step

cranky wallflower
I wander the ballroom
to find a teacher

I already know
the dance the old lady leads
her beaded blue gown



May 27, 2007

she rejects
the role she knows best
young drama queen



May 28, 2007

he argues
for going around the danger
stalled in the dark



May 29, 2007

LASTING
(from dream of May 28, 2007)

the last two horses
she could afford to raise
out to pasture

last of their line
the pair of old white horses
bright against the sky



May 30, 2007

a man next to me
face down in the water
live wires float



May 31, 2007

the long cardboard tubes
radiate danger
I ignore them


* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

Roswila

[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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