SO MUCH (Dream-Based Poem) & WRITING EXERCISE
SO MUCH
(based on dream of 6/12/07,
with gratitude to William Carlos Williams)
so much depends
upon
an old white
mattress
left on the
back porch
beneath the dark
covers
The line "left on the back porch" was originally "left on the lanai" as it was my parents' lanai of many years ago that was in the dream. But this felt problematic. The alliteration created a hitch in the flow of the piece, as did the word lanai itself. So here's where I had to make a decision: do I stay truer to my dream or to the poem? I decided "back porch" is, in effect, the same thing as "lanai": an exposure of sorts, something more outside, where the possibility of light is greater. How's that for a poet's rationalization? :-D And ultimately I realized back porch actually increased the poem's truthfulness with respect to my dream since it offers an association to the past (behind us). Although my initial use of lanai was a reference to something from my past, a reader could not have known that.
I did not set out to write using Williams's famous and wonderful poem as the frame. It just popped out as I set pen to paper to write a dreamku. However, I'm extremely glad my subconscious did toss up his poem as after drafting my take-off, I read and re-read his to get as close as possible to his rhythm and music, as well. That helped me more thoroughly appreciate this familiar poem more than I ever had before. For anyone not familiar with his poem, here it is:
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens
What an exercise in writing poetry this all was, and even moreso in reading it -- really sitting with a poem and listening over and over to its meanings, resonances, and music; taking the time to fully savor it. I do this with most poetry I read, but when I was doing it in an effort to "reproduce" this poem's structure my receptivity was heightened even more. You might try this sometime if you haven't. Using a famous favorite poem (or this one by Williams), write your own as closely "after" it as possible, without losing your own beneath it. It need not, of course, be dream-based. That's just my peculiar bent. :-D I'd love to hear of your experiences with this exercise and see any results you'd like to share.
Resource: About Williams Carlos Williams.
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
Roswila
[aka: Patricia Kelly]
****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.
Labels: dream poem, poetry, poetry writing exercise
4 Comments:
I really like the style of both poems. The words flow appropriately. I have not tried this exercise yet.
Thanks for visiting, Marcia. I'm glad you like both poems. I was so grateful his poem "popped" like that as a frame for mine. It helped me relate to the dream more fully once my poem was written.
And please stop by again and leave a comment if you do try this exercise. :-)
hello ros.. came over from another post of yours you had linked to ... beautiful... and of course, another interesting poetry exercise...
Hi one more believer,
(BTW, I love typing that email name ... makes me feel "believed in" LOL!)
Glad you stopped by. And if you ever try this exercise, I'd love to see how it goes for you.
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