Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Wednesday, February 03, 2010


OK, rather than go on about how hard and unhappy this month has been, here’s the dreamku pair from January 3 that most reflects my overall state in general these days:

in the earth’s core like
the inside of a dark egg
seven ages of Man

each a failure, each
more advanced than the former
evolution redux

Warning: more kvetching (Yiddish for complaining) ahead: Even my joy in digital photography has gotten a bit damped. My new camera seems to have an issue with focus. Grrrr .... Maybe I’ll learn my way around it. I recall how hard focus was for me when I first started with the other camera. But once I "got it" with that camera, I had it. This camera seems rather inconsistent.

Sort of like life, ey? Inconsistent. On a better day I might say life has variety, and on a really good one that it’s gloriously unpredictable. But not today. Today I yearn for security and comfort.

Enough of my wobbly psyche, I hope that you find something to enjoy or at least feel intrigued by in what I offer below.

ONE IMPORTANT POINT on reading dreamku and on the relationship between the photos and the ‘kus: There’s no right or wrong way to relate to or understand them. No clear or even intended meaning for you to get. I bring my own understanding to them, and you bring yours. One of the greatest joys I have from sharing these is when someone says that a dreamku and/or photo made them think more in depth about something in their own life. That is what a symbol is. As Jung put it, it’s a vessel into which we pour our unconscious contents. That is, a symbol gives a beginning shape and accessibility to something we might not otherwise be aware of or grasp. And I cannot know what you need or want to know. That’s what you bring to these dreamku and photos.


[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]

January 1, 2010


my large round photo
of a floral pizza pie
UPS order

I quickly add
many small pictures to it
when will they send them

anxious phone call
has the photo order shipped,
I ask UPS

one man wants to help
his boss rejects my query
will they ship at all now

[dreamku series on a dream of 12-31-09. Image by Roswila]

January 2, 2010


she says she’s
giving their friend my number
dinner for three

that we both listen
deeply and question alike
this amazes them
I’m tickled by their surprise
and that they’ve even noticed

my eyes widen dream worker friend!

-- dreamku, tanka, and monoku on a dream of 1-01-09. Image by Roswila. Not a great photo obviously, but I like the sort of watercolor effect. This is of the full moon last night; I forgot to put my new camera on night shots -- duh! At least as much fun as watching this huge full moon rise above the mountains, behind tree branches and palms trailing streaks of clouds, and between buildings, was sharing the joy with various neighbors as they’d wander by and "ooh" and "aahh" along with me. Here's an early draft of a possible poem:

the bright platter face
of a Janus full moon
huge behind the shadowy palms
serving up the always
radiant now

January 3, 2010

in the earth’s core like
the inside of a dark egg
seven ages of Man

each a failure, each
more advanced than the former
evolution redux

[dreamku pair on a dream of 1-2-09. Image by Roswila.]

January 4, 2010


January 4 is my 66th birthday, so I've posted one of my favorite pics above. Hope you enjoy it, too.

* * * * * * * *

dream response
life as a photo safari
you get the picture?

[dreamku on a dream of 1-3-09. Image by Roswila]

January 5, 2010


he’s taught us how to
improvise in our solos
newbie singers all
I wish I’d trained earlier
I might not have lost my top

I lift a fern frond
and use it like a boa
contralto torch song

afterwards we seek
each others’ company
I hold a chilled cast member
as we each relax and speak
she asks how I learned scatting

my laughing response
do you mean “Get over yourself,
dear Ella”?

[dreamku and dream tanka on a dream of 1-2-09. Image by Roswila]

January 6, 2010


at the back
of the nearly empty bus
country road at night

silhouettes of trees
I move to the right to sit
by an old woman

she’s more cognizant
than I’d assumed she’d be
the bus slows down

the headlights have died
the driver asks if we mind
if he drives on

we each say OK
since he knows these roads by heart
a minor wobble

brushing road’s edge
under tall dark trees dancing
course correction

[dream series on a dream of 1-5-09. Image by Roswila]

January 7, 2010


hugely pregnant I
waddle to get our order
hamburger dinners

the way back’s a squeeze
I heave through the narrow hall
employees use

he accepts his food
but no matter he’s a doctor
hesitates to treat
two other pregnant women
who are seriously ill

I point out that he’d
save four for work on just two:
mothers and babies

[three dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-6-09. Image by Roswila]

January 8, 2010

[No dreamku for today. I'm too pooped to even think about writing or finding some. I've spent the past two days starting the move to new rooms here in the retirement community I live in (i.e, loading a shopping cart and trundling it over, unloading, going back to my old room, and repeating the process several times). I will try to keep posting at least a photo a day until the move is complete. But even typing this is an effort for this old lady. Image by Roswila]

January 9, 2010

[No dreamku again for today. Rough, way too busy day with the move to my new digs. Especially with Murphy's Law holding full sway over it all. OK. Enough moaning. On to the rest of my internet work, then back to sorting and packing. Image by Roswila]

January 10, 2010

[Still no dreamku; way too tired. I love these leaves above of canna flowers (I believe they're called). They are endlessly entertaining with their shapes, stripes, colors, how the light plays around and through them as the unfurl and fall, and as they dance together. They never look the same for more than a few minutes at a time. Image by Roswila]

January 11, 2010


new family car
tiny auto that looks more
like a Christmas toy

going for a ride
we all crowd in like clowns in
a mini circus car

we approach a huge
pothole that’s trapped bigger cars
crumbling cement and tar

our tiny auto
clambers through and beyond
utter amazement

our father’s comment
the car’s only real drawback
no flash and dash

[dreamku series on a dream of 1-10-09. Ah! Two dreamku series came from last night's dreams. I was very tired and laid in bed thinking I just didn't want to turn on the light and write about the dreams, but they persisted. I can still so clearly see the little car of the above dream/ku; it was both humorous and quite a surprise. Of course I see my crowding shopping cart after shopping cart with stuff from my room, and the difficulties of getting them over door sills and through doors reflected in this dream. But it's delightful to be reminded of the humor in it all, as well. There are other issues addressed by this dream than my moving to new digs, but I'll leave my comments at that. BTW, that photo is not of one of "my" moving carts, but of the gardening club's "deconstruction" of Christmas decorations. Image by Roswila]

January 12, 2010

[No dreamku for this day. The move to my new digs goes on apace and I space out! One of my fondnesses is dragons and this tree above I call Guardian Dragon. It sits right near our rose garden in a lovely spot that gets thick and wild with plants and bushes, even after having been massively pruned. This particular bush did not stay looking like this very long; it's all leafy now. I enjoy "documenting" the various stages/ages of the flora around our grounds. Image by Roswila.

January 13, 2010

[No dreamku again. I'm aware of dreams but too dang pooped from moving stuff to my new rooms to reach over for the light, pen, and pad. This photo I call "Cup of Light." The rose was actually almost a solid dark pink. The sun was hitting it making it look nearly transparent. Image by Roswila.]

January 14, 2010

[No dreamku again, though I may eventually write something about a dream I had last night. (A beautiful college-age blonde woman had written a very scholarly paper. She had no doubt I could understand it, but I was buffaloed just by how complicated her attached references and citations were without even looking at the body of the paper.) The photo above I took this morning, my last morning in my old room. I would not have seen that wonderful tree shadow had my lace curtains still been up; it was a welcome and delightful surprise. Image by Roswila.]

January 15, 2010


playing chicken with
ram after charging ram
escalating fear

the rams morph into
large pale grey buffaloes
endless stream

each in its turn
leaps surely over my head
tension mounts

we'll collide head-on
if a buffalo stumbles
when will this trial end

ridden by a small dark boy the last buffalo

Dreamku with capping monoku from my first night in my new rooms. Haven't had time yet to really sit with this dream, but it's certainly intriguing. Especially given the dream that followed. Here's the dreamku on that one:

he yells to me from
the communal kitchen:
she's cooked the buffalo

The first dreamku series/dream was rather somber in tone and feeling. But the second little dream had a bit of humor to it, though I'm not sure how much was simply my conscious mind already laughing at the contrast between the two dreams. By the way, there's no image today as my home system is not yet set up and the public access ones here in our library don't allow for copying from disks.

January 16, 2010

No dream recall of note. Whenever I woke in the night I just luxuriated in being warm and comfy, and not on my feet doing stuff around my new rooms! The above image is a collage I made quite some time ago and have probably posted to this blog before, as it's dream based. The name of the collage and the dream is "Return to Anahata." It was a very long dream, but the final image was my knowing I needed to get back to that castle, named Anahata. I'd forgotten until I googled the name "Anahata" the next morning that it's the name of the heart chakra in our bodies. I'm not surprised I was drawn to post it today as I'm feeling a bit "heart sore," between exhaustion and constant change. What can I say? I'm a Capricorn. I like order and structure (nay, really need it) and there's little of these right now in my life. But I'll get there again. Witness my computer system is up and running already (with the tremendously appreciated help of my friend, John). Image: "Return to Anahata," collage by Roswila.

January 17, 2010

[Working on a dreamku series from last night's dreams, but don't have time to finish it right now. The above photo I took yesterday in one of my favorite spots on the grounds. I call it "Cup of Lava." Not surprised I'd be drawn to an image with that title, given my mood both yesterday and today. (That's only partly a joke, by the way.) Image by Roswila]

January 18, 2010

[Had an intriguing dream about having been married 8 years ago but that only now was the marriage to be consummated. This was in a culture that on waking I associate to some ancient one. Oh, and a baby (not mine) had been born back that 8 years ago. As I'm being escorted by a young woman who's going to fill me in on important things, I see a blonde haired girl about 8 years old and wonder if that's the baby born the day of my wedding. I also have to adjust the rubber tip to my bamboo walking stick/flute (a problem I'm actually having these days) and see a man I think may be my husband (an actual Irish actor whose name I can't recall at the moment). Why the above image? Primarily because it's one of my newest photos. It's a bit out of focus but it's another of those where I think that works for the "feel" of the picture. Secondarily it has a sort of mythic/fantasy aspect to it, like the dream did. Only with this photo I tend for some reason to think of Tolkien's hobbit books. P.S. of 1-19-10: There’s a sentient mobile tree race that guards trees in the Tolkien hobbit books. There is something so active to my eye about the branches in the above photo, that must be what triggered the hobbit/Tolkien association. Image by Roswila]

January 19, 2010


opening the door
to the emptied office
have I been let go

maybe everything’s just been rearranged brief hope

flattened carpeting
and staring dull blank walls
personal stuff piled

puzzled acceptance
he no longer wants me as
his secretary

looked at another way
he’s no longer my boss
relief settles in

[dreamku series with a dream monoku on a dream of 1-18-10. This dream sort of continues on from the one I mentioned of the previous night, and at the same time gave me a clue to the previous night’s dream. I read somewhere years ago that the answer to one dream is often in a subsequent dream of the same night, but this is the first time (at least that I recall) in which the answer came in the next night’s dream. It makes sense that it could work this way; I just don’t recall it happening before. Guess my dreaming mind wanted to be sure I “got” that first dream. Image by Roswila.]

January 20, 2010


a young slim woman
hands me her auburn lemur
it’s large and plump

I’m uncertain
how to grip its furry warmth
it weights my hands

squirming a bit it
looks at me with large bright eyes
I rub its tummy

she confirms my sense
it doesn’t like belly rubs
I turn it over

trying to connect this awesome creature

[dream series and a monoku on a dream of 1-18-10. Image by Roswila.]

January 21, 2010


a corner bar stool’s
the only empty seat
I clamber up

she snaps my photo backlit dining room

[dreamku and monoku on a dream of 12-27-09. Image by Roswila]

January 22, 2010


empty apartment
a friend and I have a deep

it feels good to talk
with no fear of being judged
I wander off

two interlopers
in my parents’ bedroom!
my uncle and his mate

my uncle’s partner
lies sprawled out on his back
fleshy nude man

quiet quick exit
I wait for the fall out in
another room

my uncle enters
calmly talking about us:
nothings’ really changed

my disagreement we’re talking and respectfully

[dreamku series and a monoku on a dream of 1-10-10. Image by Roswila]

January 23, 2010

time after time the
foggy nickname precedes her:
speaker of bad news

[dreamku on a dream of 1-21-10. Image by Roswila]

January 24, 2010


will my new dark-skinned
foster baby ever talk to me
it’s questionable

I chatter away
as if we’ve always been friends
her brown eyes follow me

comprehension shines
I speak of my own family’s
painful estrangement

do we need words the connection between us hums

[dreamku series topped by a monoku on a dream of 1-22-10. Image by Roswila]

January 25, 2010


wearing the pink shoes
he gave me I start hiking
long sunlit road home

two women approach
one knows him rather too well
same old, same old

I leave him and walk
no other shoes to wear or
I’d ditch these pink traps

a staired tunnel up
to another level appears
very hard slow climb

two ladies of the night
pass me climbing quite quickly
one turns back toward me

are you OK she says
thinking I’m sick like they are
arthritis I say

climbing alone again echoing shadowy tunnel

[dreamku series capped by a monoku on a dream of 1-24-10. Image by Roswila]

January 26, 2010


circle of friends
everyone refuses
to speak to me

I walk up again
to each one and question them
silent profiles pierce

bulls eye!
I leave the small wood plank room
new terrain of halls

a strange woman asks
why they wouldn’t talk to me
a gift of laughter:
how do I know, I respond,
they’re totally shunning me

a dark-haired young man
peers from around a corner
latino music plays

his tilted head and smile want to dance

[dreamku series with capping monoku on a dream of 1-23-10. Image by Roswila]

January 27, 2010

insect larva
pulse on the grey stone walls
garage sale

[very old dreamku on a dream of 3/28/07. Was going through my much older notebooks for unposted dreamku. This was (and is even now) one I had a visceral response to of, well, "eeeewwww!" I was also struck by the photo that popped out at me to use with it. Only after choosing it for the stone wall in the background, did I consciously think how insect larva are often food for birds, i.e. part of a natural cycle. Just like garage sales, in a way. And just like what I'm going through now, going wonky under the waxing gibbous moon phase as I do. Image by Roswila]

January 28, 2010


breakdown tedium
a mess of empty cartons
fill the street corner

I lift an armload
awkwardly against my chest
smashed expectations

the flat cartons change
into a brown striped blouse
not my best colors

I continue to hobble
toward the nearest garbage dump
new look or not, it’s gone

[dreamku series on a dream of 1-27-10. I await the evolution of this dream's issue along a happier path, as in the above photo: all that growth in spite of being tumbled by a rain storm. Image by Roswila]

January 29, 2009

their dead are rocks
they bury in the sand
Ressurection Beach

[old dreamku on a very old dream of 1/4/07. I can still so clearly recall this dream's imagery and "hearing" that name for the beach. I chose it to post because it rather fits with my mood today. Lots is "dying" but there's still a hope for rebirth in some new form or arrangement. I also find the second line on the sign in the above photo rather appropriate in this context: No lifeguard on duty. You take your chances in this life. Image by Roswila]

January 30, 2010

ledge of packed earth
a bulb rolls off into
deep unknown space

[old dreamku on a very old dream of 10-25-06. Another old dream that I can still clearly see in my mind's eye. The photo is of the amazing February Wolf Moon (always the largest full moon of the year) that rose last evening at sunset. As I keep telling everyone, I had great fun rushing around from the third, to the second, then the ground floor taking shots of it. I wanted an excuse to share one of those pictures here and so I'm playing on the word "bulb," as in those colored lamplights at the bottom. Image by Roswila]

January 31, 2010


she has extremely
long platinum blonde hair
airport counter wait

letting her hair down
to be examined is painful
sympathy from all

it’s time consuming
I await my turn behind her
very patiently

they couldn’t care less
when I show my own long hair
ignored and then rushed

my temper flies looser
than her hair or my wild mane
I demand a new clerk

ultimately I can’t
recall my old phone number
I.D. incomplete

I give up and grouse
then I just won’t fly to Ireland
airport exit

in passing they say
my ex was very patient
his I.D. check in

my righteous rage
fully damped by blushing shame
a humbling sets in

[dreamku series on a dream of 1-30-10. Image by Roswila (I tend to think of this palm trunk as Cousin Itt, from the fun old T.V. sitcom The Munsters.)]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****