A SKETCHY SITUATION (photomorph) & IF IT ISN'T YOU (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

IF IT ISN'T YOU

if it isn't you
it will be someone
who'll engage my intensity
with his own, drawn into
my orbit by the gravitational
pull of my passion

if it isn't you
it will be someone
and so I refuse to dampen
this burning with disappointment,
I shine on and brightly for he
who will not fear my flame

for if it isn't you
it will be someone
who will bathe with me in this fire,
this ferment that draws life forward,
so take what I say seriously
if you should want me at all:

there's little time left to go on
titillating from a distance
like those famous ships passing
in the night, your hail no more
than a quick flash

so strap on a pair and step up
to the plate, for if it isn't you
it will be someone


[non-dream free verse poem written 4-21-16. Photomorph "A Sketchy Situation" (3-1-14 002v7c) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

FROM THE MOUTH OF THE DRAGON (photo) & A DRAGON DREAM (prose poem) by Roswila

A DRAGON DREAM

The god-like dragon creature manifests before me, purple with green highlights. He swirls around me, not quite flesh, not quite cotton-candy. I am angry with him. He has numbed my pain all my life. I tell him off, flinging my words like bricks into fog. He has no right to take my pain away. It is all I've had. He chortles deep in his throat, and releases his control of my hands. I am astounded as merciless pain burns them from palms to finger tips. I hold them before me like burning branches. He tells me that the pain I would have suffered in the past would have been far worse. I am humbled.

* * *

[prose poem written in 1986, with a slight tweak today. It was posted here previously in 2006. I'm re-posting it as it addresses what I'd not fully embraced until recently: it's taken me this long to "get it more together" because I wasn't healed and grown enough to move any faster. As I said in my notes to this piece back in 2006, denial has its positive uses. (BTW, another term I use for this god-like dragon is "The Guardian at the Gate." An aspect of our psyches that can keep us from going further until we are ready.) Had I felt all at once what I've felt spread out over the past, say, 15 years, I doubt I would have survived. I would have self-immolated long since. I re-post this piece today as I've recently begun living with a certain lonely, burning intensity (to put it extremely mildly) that I was only vaguely aware of in my youth. A pain that's more than I could have stood to feel back then, along with everything else that was going on as well. Photo "From the Mouth of the Dragon" (4-21-16 002v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

SNATCHING THE SUN (photomorph) & CLEARING THE RUNWAY (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

CLEARING THE RUNWAY

thieves in the night, all of them!

the little girl absconds rapidly (in the way
only children can, helter skelter)
with my purse, I catch her in the bathroom
and reclaim it, noticing she'd already
nabbed my loaded key ring
from it and take that back, also,
its jingling echoing loudly in the tiny space
as if to demand attention

then that young dark haired man snatches
a miniscule patriotic symbol of mine
that I'd placed (just for a second)
on the serving table in order to free my hands
to find something else in my purse,
he seems delighted when I grab it back, as if
he'd accomplished what he'd set out to do

and who stole all the artwork from these
dirty restaurant walls? all I saw was the back
of a head and body, framed by the mass
of pictures they were holding close
to their chest as they scrambled
through the door into the night

but most of all why do the words
"clearing the runway" keep coming to mind?
I have no wings to speak of, unless, of course,
one counts the angels who must have stolen me away
from the miserable fate I so long worked to create


[free verse poem on a dream of 4-20-16. Photomorph "Snatching the Sun" (3-24-16 015v5b) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

SHOULD WE JUMP? (photo) & WHICH IS IT... (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

WHICH IS IT...

a seagull at roof's edge above
the morning ocean, at home
in either direction forward

or a rolling fragility, like an egg
caught for a breath and teetering
at the brink of a terrible plummet


[non-dream free verse poem written 4-20-16. It's been a rough morning and as I turned on my computer the image of that seagull flashed into my mind's eye (it's an old photo of mine) in contrast to a teetering feeling. And after drafting this I wonder if it's even necessary to know which "it" is. Whatever it may be (and it may be something other even than these, of course) it's life. Something I'm finally, at this late stage, becoming deeply grateful for, even in all its anxiety provoking and gut wrenching moments. On another topic (though not at a deep level unrelated) I'm back into losing weight. This is the last leg of a 15 year long journey that I started at 356 pounds. As of this morning, I've lost 90 lbs. on this final stretch of the journey. The end of which will be a "normal" weight for the first time in well over 40 years. Photo "Should We Jump?" (4-15-14 053v5) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

SPIN CYCLE (photomorph) & AN INCUBATED DREAM (on a dream) by Roswila

AN INCUBATED DREAM*

asking one's dreams for help can be dicey,
if one isn't prepared for flat out honesty

yeah, I could interpret the symbols differently
but would be left with a bad taste in my mouth:

I ask my brother to get me that purple robe of mine
from the dirty laundry so I can cover my nakedness,

enough to make it safely unexposed past the company
downstairs to the large basement laundry room

I wait and wait but he doesn't return, so I sprint
down to the basement without being seen (thankfully)

and there in a washer is a huge mixed load
of his dirty laundry and mine, just sitting there,

no soap, no water; I separate mine from his wondering
how he could have gotten my request so wrong

did he hear what I said at all? I hadn't asked him to do
any of my work (which he clearly didn't do anyway),

just to help me cover up so I could do it myself ...
then a young Hispanic family enters the basement

I'm now so overexposed as to feel almost clothed;
we chat amiably as I put quarters into my machine,

singing an old sweet hymn about Jesus,** just about
the last thing I'd imagine myself doing right now

but it feels right and the young family hums along,
the tumbling of washers a supportive undertone


[on a dream of 4-18-16. *Asking one's dreams a question or for help before falling asleep is called incubating a dream, which I did last night. The question did not have anything to do with my brother. Though I can readily get why he showed in the dream's answer, representing both himself and other men from my life. BTW, it was my actual adult age brother in this dream (he passed away not quite 3 years ago). After I finished drafting this piece I thought "Guess there's just no way to really come clean without being exposed." There's much more to this dream than that, but it's the point with the most punch. **I was singing these (inaccurately recalled) lyrics from "Softly and Tenderly" -- "Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling, calling oh sinner come home, come home, come home, Jesus is calling come home." Though I'm not Christian (I'd say I'm generically spiritual) this hymn always reduces me to a puddle. Hm, that's certainly appropriate to doing laundry. Smile. Photomorph "Spin Cycle" (4-29-12 11830ev2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

SEEDS FROM THE HEART (photo) & FATHER POEM IV (re-post of old non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

FATHER POEM IV

Forgiveness of you cannot be this almost absence,
this quiet utility like a pair of old shoes.

Forgiveness should arrive on blazing feet,
bursting my heart with trumpets,
strewing your grave with spectacular flowers.

Forgiveness of you cannot be what was wearing
so painfully into shape, raising blisters of regret,
smothered in rage and self-pity.

Forgiveness should simply alight, pristine,
untouched, untrammeled, radiating wisdom,
a white dwarf sun.

But here forgiveness waits, open and serviceable,
like old shoes I try on
hoping they can carry me through.

The shoes fit.
I wear them.


(re-post of a non-dream free verse poem, written in September 1988. The anniversary of my father's death was April 13th and I've been thinking a lot about him, and how grateful I am to have been able to heal my inner relationship to him after he died. It took about two years of intense journaling (not long before I wrote this poem). But, for example, he eventually went from appearing as a threatening figure in my dreams to being a fellow traveler, a friend. Photomorph "The Heart Opens" 4-29-12 11816v2a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

IN THE FOREST OF DESIRE (photomorph) & AN OLD WOMAN'S PLAINT (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

AN OLD WOMAN'S PLAINT

sitting alone at a crossroads in front of our
community's little corner store, complaining
to myself about a new and seemingly endless
hot yearning, a bite of fudgesicle hits
an old tooth filling wildly awry and yikes!

more than being reminded to skirt that tooth
I realize I've been eating this sweet delight
without even noticing it, without savoring
what I'd come here to obtain, instead going
on autopilot from yearning to yearning,
cranky and unsatisfied

the last bite of the icy sweet slides across
my tongue and is gone, the heat returning
to my mouth even as that burning yearning
rises again in my mind and body, but now
I embrace it as sufficient to this moment, a treat
that bears its own pulsating measure of aliveness


[non-dream free verse poem written 4-16-16. Photomorph "In the Forest of Desire" (5-25-09 1726v14c) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)

; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.