Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Saturday, January 25, 2020

WRITE YOUR STORY ON THE WIND (photo) & IT DOESN'T TAKE MUCH (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila


IT DOESN’T TAKE MUCH

you sail up to me, your explanations and excuses
billowing around you, but you might as well not
bother; I know very well your reasons aren’t
your reasons, some hidden hold, deep inside
yourself carries the cargo of your unexpressed
truths: all you ever let me -- or anyone, I suppose
-- know of you are fairy tales you think we’ll buy
and be pleased with (or at the very least, mollified
by when your stories are out of focus even to you),
but I don’t (believe) and I’m not (mollified,
much less pleased), for I, like the witch you always
include in your story telling (whether she -- and it is
always a “she” – fits the tale or not) am very
perceptive and empathic, one might even say a wee
bit psychic … then again, it doesn’t take much
talent of any sort to see that look as it shrinks
away from fully inhabiting your face, as if
fearful of being seen: and I know
story hour’s about to start


[non-dream, free verse poem, written 1-24-20. Photo “Write Your Story on the Wind” (Screenshots 5 10-21-19 [31]2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Friday, January 24, 2020

SEEKING A NEW FOCUS (Halloween selfie from 2014) & IN.MY.HUMBLE.OPINION (free verse dream poem) by Roswila


IN.MY.HUMBLE.OPINION

you were in my dreams again last night, like you’ve
been so many nights recently; yeah, instead of being
annoyed (mostly because I’m not all that sure why you
keep visiting) I could just be grateful I’m recalling so
many more dreams once again; after all, I had been
bellyaching about their lack of staying power … hm,
maybe that image holds the answer to why you’re
around a lot in my morning dream cache: to remind me
that some relationships do have staying power, aren’t
in quick disappear mode or gradual fade to black …
you are someone who stuck with me through a lot and
even wanted me around more than I cared to be with
you (funny that, given how painfully I’ve been taking in
that I’ve never really been all that liked by others);
of course, wanting me around does not necessarily
mean you liked me, even like me now; we humans are
odd creatures (IMHO, yeah, a big In.My.Humble.
Opinion), we become accustomed to someone and how
their peculiar ways fit into our lives, and that’s the
strangest thing of all: how often what we think of as
caring about someone we like is really more just
a matter of having become completely accustomed
to them, a visceral habit that fills some essential
void that echoes even louder when they’re not
around to crowd out the emptiness we so
assiduously deny, exposing our proud
backs to it, day after day
after day


[free verse poem on a dream of 1-22-20. Not sure about this one, nor really even any of my recent spate of dream writing. I can feel this one (and others) kinda itching at me to work on the writing. But I’m finding at this end of life I’m much more concerned with expressing fully, than with necessarily perfecting how I do that. Not that I don’t edit and edit and re-edit. I do. It’s just that I do much less (relatively speaking) than I used to once what I’m needing to say is on the page. Strange. The need to express is over-riding my sense of art? Ever since I first started writing poetry in my teens, I could not have said which was more important to me: craft (art) or content (what’s being said). And now, in my middle 70’s, after all these years, I find expression edging out art. Never woulda thunk it! Odd thing, though, when it comes to others’ art – poetry, ballet, etc. – I always did find myself leaning more toward appreciating expression in a less artistically successful form, over something well-crafted but empty. And here I am, back to discussing emptiness again … Photo “Seeking A New Focus” (11-1-14 009v2) by Roswila (selfie in Halloween costume)]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Thursday, January 23, 2020

WILTED WONDER (photomorph) & GIVING MY DREAMS A TALKING TO (free verse dream poem) by Roswila


GIVING MY DREAMS A TALKING TO

is “let’s face the music and dance” all you
had to say to me last night? if so, we really
need to have a talk; of course, you may mean
that comment (lifted right out of old song
lyrics) metaphorically, the word “dance,”
that is, given that that activity’s been beyond
me even just to sway, for a couple of years
now, arthritis having taken over just about
every major joint and some minor ones, and
even leaning heavily on my cane or walker
handles brings no joy … BTW, that word “joy”
(used without that negating “no”), if you will
recall, is what I asked you about as I went to
sleep last night: how to find a spot of joy
every once in a while (hey, greed is fading
just like much else at this end of life) …
seems even you’ve lost your creative touch
if your answer to me is to dance; but that
feels truly more absurd the more I think
about it: you’re probably doing your usual
thing and speaking in the tongue of images:
that life makes its own odd music and I must
face it and “dance,” in whatever way, literally
or figuratively speaking, that I am able to; and
joy, well, it will or it won’t appear somewhere
in the vicinity of my awkward moving on; then
maybe, on some special night when there should
be a full moon even if there isn’t, as I sway
(if only in my mind) to the beat of life’s heart,
joy will peek out again after all this time and
smile lightly on me, a reflection of times long
gone: so, indeed, let’s face the music and dance


[free verse poem on a dream fragment of 1-22-20. I heard and sang just the bit of the song lyrics quoted in the first line above, on and off all night. And it was a long, difficult night with lots of wakings and going back to sleep. So, I did a lot of “singing” of that snatch of a song. I don’t think, even given all the times I’ve heard this song in my 76 years, I’ve ever noticed before how sad it is at one level:

“LET'S FACE THE MUSIC AND DANCE”
There may be trouble ahead
But while there's music and moonlight
and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance
Before the fiddlers have fled
Before they ask us to pay the bill
and while we still have the chance
Let's face the music and dance
Soon we'll be without the moon,
humming a different tune and then
There may be teardrops to shed
So while there's moonlight
and music and love and romance
Let's face the music and dance

Photomorph “Wilted Wonder” (11-20-18 002v6[10]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

WHERE'S ALL THE AQUA GOING? (photomorph) & DREAMING OF MERMAIDS (free verse dream poem) by Roswila


DREAMING OF MERMAIDS

... and so, she falls asleep asking her dreams
for help, and strange as it may seem, she needs
to know what it is she most wants in life:

all night long – even when broken by
waking moments (as her sleep always has
been, from earliest childhood) – she finds
she’s dressing for a new role she’ll be
taking on: that of a mermaid

at least she thinks it’s a mermaid, the various
accoutrements available to her are not complete
(how she even knows this, she’s not certain, but
she does know it) no matter how many times she
wakes, falls back to sleep, and puts them on again,
and she’s surrounded by aqua colored light, that’s
cool and moves gently like liquid when she moves

then there’s that other woman, that almost
friend of hers, who’s also transitioning: if you’ll
pardon the use of a term used a lot these days
in another context … or maybe not really …
changing from human to non-human is a rather
huge change and certainly worthy of the term
transitioning

and each time she wakes, she’s deeply sad,
wanting only to go back to the time of transition,
to live in that world with her new friend -- yes,
the friend’s turning into a mermaid, too --
swimming together in an aqua sea


[free verse poem on a dream of 1-20-20.
😊 Sounds like a desire to return to the womb, to me! And, truthfully, I’m rarely as physically comfortable in bed as I was that night. The temperature was just right, and my joints calmed down a lot sooner than usual and stayed that way. So comfortable, that I kept re-setting my alarm in order to sleep some more. As to this dream being a possible answer to what do I most want? (I did actually incubate that issue before sleep.) That’s a bit complicated to answer. I’ve always related to the fairytale “The Little Mermaid.” And as I matured, I began to get upset with her choice to give up her tail. Yet what have I done with how I’ve lived but given up my own tail (i.e. legs)? Rather literally. The arthritis is bad enough now (along with vertigo) that I use a walker all the time. And can’t take long walks anymore. Or maybe, the dream is simply pointing out the obvious: I want to live in fantasy. Something I’ve tended to do my entire life. Well, if that’s the case, I can be grateful that I still have what I most want and have always done best: to wander around in my imagination. However, I’ve often wondered if one loses one’s fertile imagination when dementia enters the picture. Like, how do we know what a demented person thinks/feels/imagines? Is there still a lively universe behind that troubled and disappearing connection to the shared universe of interpersonal interactions? Yeah, obvious here, isn’t it: the thought of losing my ability to imagine is very upsetting. And living in a community of elders, many of whom are in various stages and types of dementia, can make one hyper aware of any slip of one’s own memory, or speech, etc. There’s more to this, but I’d better quit here. That “more” having to do with individual perceptions that get accepted as reality, and how memory is not unchangeable. Well, maybe I needn’t worry since it’s all a big constantly shifting energy mass anyway. Any stability is an accident and/or illusion, and at most, only temporary. Yikes! See what dreaming of mermaids can do to me? Photomorph “Where’s All The Aqua Going?” 6-28-09 2988v5b[3]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

ESCAPING ON THE WIND (photomorph) & HER STORY (free verse dream poem) by Roswila


HER STORY

best I tell this story, this tale of night-time
betrayal (yes, it’s still betrayal even if one
always knew it would happen) in my
“she” voice, it puts some space between
the memory and the telling, space in
which the “I” voice can catch its breath…

ok, here goes: he’s got her and got her
all too good in his grip, she’s going to be
raped, no matter she keeps on struggling,
managing with each new hold he gets on
her, to slip away a few inches, only to
find herself closer to being violated …

then she vividly recalls seeing a
documentary on an ancient Hawaiian
martial art, called “Empty Bowl,”
disguised, back in the days when it
was developed, as dance moves

she instantly places herself in one
defensive position she clearly recalls
that involves using one’s head, but
her determined rapist recognizes
what she’s doing and laughs out loud,
remarking in words he spits out one
by one like bullets that she’d be
embarrassed, nay, ashamed, if she
could see how stupid she looks
in that position

but how she looks never was the
issue (the sad truism being rape’s
always about power … power
over) and now that his laser-like
focus on invading her body has been
briefly broken she’s able to make
a lightning fast get away:

freed ultimately by his gargantuan
need to belittle


[free verse poem on a dream of 1-18-20. Like far too many women, I’ve not escaped many different levels of sexual abuse by men (from childhood on; by family members, friends, total strangers). Even so, one might say this dream’s use of rape to represent an interaction I have with this actual male in my life, is going too far. But I think the opposite is actually true. My dream world used a scary, intense image to force me to pay attention to a situation that’s unhealthy for me, about which I’ve been largely in denial. A situation that could only have survived as long as it has because of my sexual abuse history: at some level that I tend to hide from myself, I still relate automatically as a victim and am readily, therefore, spotted by victimizers. I hasten to add, this is all complicated by my desire to take responsibility for my life and feelings, not to take the easy way out and blame others. Photomorph “Escaping on the Wind” (3-7-19 2-21-19[25]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Monday, January 20, 2020

NO ROOM FOR THE MOON (photomorph) & NO ROOM (mixed format dream poem) by Roswila


NO ROOM

why do I see your face
in everyone’s? hear your voice, a low
grumble in my gut

I’m not fool enough
to think you’re anything more than
symbolic language:
my own insistence on self-attention
breaking through layers of denial

yes, sadly, I’ve long
suspected we are very much alike –
not. that. likable.
and it’s puzzled me ‘til I just now faced up
to your self-involved stare in the mirror:

a narcissist’s love leaves no room for any other


[a dreamku, two tanka, and a one-liner on a dream of 1-17-20. This experience of “seeing” and “hearing” someone everywhere in my waking life, happens to me occasionally. The last time was several years ago (with a different relative that time), as it has done once in a while since I was 12 years old. The person I kept “seeing” that first time was – oddly enough – a complete stranger. All subsequent “visitors” have been relatives. BTW, I don’t always manage to understand the “reason” for the “visits.” I.e., it’s rare to find so much (difficult to take in) psychological meaning in one. In fact, I usually just note the phenomenon and maybe have an imaginary conversation or two with the person.
😊 Photomorph “No Room for the Moon” (6-28-09 2988v4i[2]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.