CROSSINGS (photo) & THAT MAN I'VE NEVER LIKED, or "Crossroads of a Life" (dream narrative) by Roswila

THAT MAN I'VE NEVER LIKED
(or "Crossroads of a Life")

that man I've never liked starts
chatting me up more casually and,
at the same time, more tenaciously
than he ever has before and for some
reason that I don't even bother to try
to figure out, I let him, and not only
that, enjoy it; we walk almost like old
friends around a huge city plaza that
has many little sidewalks among
stairways both up and down, and
trees to the sky, but still manages to
be mostly concrete over the dark
earth; the sunny day reflects our
shared mood as he notes that we
seem to be running into each other
a lot more these days and that he's
hoping I don't mind if he takes
advantage of that, this last with a
flirtatious tone, one he's never
used on me for all the chatting up
he's tried to do over the years; he asks a question that I start to answer in my usual fashion: referencing my traumatic past in a convoluted way, but I stop and laugh as I say, "No, no more of that way of understanding and relating, I'll let it suffice that my answer to what you asked lies now quietly at my center, the nucleus around which everything else spins;" he nods with a sweet smile curling at the edges of his mouth; I sense a growing
attraction between us and almost start
to tactfully end what I believe would
be a bad idea for us both, but I don't,
and the warm sexual tension between
us continues to rise; I begin to think
that the only way to see if this could
actually work for us will be to give
it a go ... "Say what!" I think, with
a small chill, recalling how actively
I've not liked him and for how long
but, then again, who can tell what
might go on behind closed doors?
just as I resolve to give us a chance
we approach some very wide and
high concrete steps down; as I near
the first step the biggest obese man
I've ever seen hobbles up the stairs,
everyone else starting down rushes
aside to give him space, but I just
want to keep going and move on to
the stairs, passing him by easily while
actually managing to keep my own
all too readily disturbed balance;
the stairs seem even longer down now
that I'm on them and I get impatient,
and develop a way of skiing along them
on my sneakered feet by not letting my
full foot hit the step but only skimming
the edge with the toes of my sneakers;
this works wonderfully well and I make
quick, steady progress; that man I'd
never liked does the stairs behind me
in a normal way and pace, commenting
from his distance behind me, on my
cool style and speed and just how did I
learn to do that? where all this is going
I realize I haven't a clue, but it sure is
fun to be doing old things I've found
very difficult, in new ways: taking on
the huge challenge of stairs, all while
getting to know a man I'd never liked

[narrative on a dream of 3-13-18. Just in case it's not obvious, the insight in the "crossbar" (i.e., the widest) section is in my estimation the most important in the dream. For most of my life, friends have often asked me to answer them in 20 words or less ... LOL! ... and I'm only now at 74 years of age getting what that convoluted verbosity of mine has been about ... and that I can safely and happily let most of it go. I only say "most" because there are times when an in-depth answer is crucial. However, the majority of my verbose and complicated answers have come out of defensiveness, which was based in my history of having been abused, heavily criticized/ disliked, and very misunderstood/ misinterpreted. I do not mean to suggest that I'm the only one to experience such things. Just that at a young age my response became to explain, in (sometimes nauseating, from what others have told me) depth. Believing that understanding cures anything. Only now am I recognizing that that Freudian take on things is true only a small part of the time. Maybe a bit helpful when applied to ourselves (and only if we don't cling to it all as protections and/or excuses), but far less when we expect and attempt to educate others into those same understandings. An exercise in futility, to say the least. Oh, lest I forget: Happy St. Patrick's Day! (It used to mean a little more -- not a lot, but somewhat -- back when I thought I was almost half Irish. And then I had my DNA analysis done and found out I'm only 4% Irish! (The even bigger surprise: I'm 24% Scandinavian. Yeah, those Vikings sure did get around, didn't they?) Photo "Crossings" (7-7-09 3436v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

OPENING WIDE (photo) & THE STRAY DOG (dream narrative) by Roswila

THE STRAY DOG

the stray dog opens his mouth
preparing to chomp down on
a soft taco (or is it a soggy
ice cream cone) that's
on the ground a
distance away
in this back
alley

I reach carefully over to
bring it to his hungry
mouth but he backs
quickly away, turns
around, and runs
right off ...


will I ever get it? stray dogs
are all too accustomed
to taking care of
themselves


[narrative on a dream of 3-12-18. Again, the dog represents aspects of someone I know, and of myself. Photo "Opening Wide" (8-7-17 012v2a)

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

RIDING THE DRAGON (photomorph) & "the best one can do..." (non-dream senryu) by Roswila

the best one can do
at times? hold on and forget even
guiding the wild ride


[non-dream senryu, inspired by today's posted pic: "Riding the Dragon" (8-13-17 011v3). Senryu: a very brief definition from Merriam/Webster, online -- "... a 3-line unrhymed Japanese poem structurally similar to haiku but treating human nature usually in an ironic or satiric vein." BTW, as I was dreaming last night, I felt encouraged that I'd have some good dream recall this morning. But despite that lucid flash in the middle of the night's dreams, I have next to no dream memory to work on today. So, I decided to choose a photo and write something about it. Hm, tell a lie, I just recalled that there was a dog who ran off and some other very vague details are coming to me ... maybe I can do something with that dream fragment later. Funny thing, this late recall. It's the second time recently I've had some as I was typing comments here to a non-dream post. Almost as if my dream world were saying "Hey, yah think you're gonna get away without writing about us in some way? Think again!" :-) Photomorph & Senryu by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

WINTER'S CUP (photomorph) & THE ENCAPSULATED SUN (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

THE ENCAPSULATED SUN

how did I became
such close friends
with Sharon Stone?*
I don't know and let go
of the question as we stand
chatting on a winter,
tree- lined sidewalk;
I become far more intrigued
with the clear, hard glass, close fitting bowl
encasing Sharon's head and face, as it's identical
to one I used to wear decades ago like a goldfish bowl
over my own head, thinking myself protected
from just about anything
life could throw at me, and even believed I was seeing
clearly through its rounded walls the soap opera
others lived out around me, since the closer
I put my face to this glass shell, the more
the distorting of its deeply rounded lens
diminished, winding up barely discernible,
with my view only vaguely tinted by its
pale green, translucent barrier;
of course, as the years went by I wondered
how I could have been so sure of all this,
separated as I was from direct contact
with anything outside my own head,
just as I now wonder
how Sharon can not only be youthful-looking
and serene, but seemingly live her life quite
fully from behind that glass bowl;
I reach out to touch it, fascinated
to have some experience of a barrier
like my former one from the outside
for the first time;
its smoothness is not surprising, nor its slight chill,
and the delicate green tint it gives to her skin
may be why she's still youthful looking;
my palms thrill to each stroke I make
of its curved sides, which delight
Sharon quickly recognizes, prompting
a smile from her still beautiful face:
this impossibly encapsulated sun


[free verse poem on a dream of 3-10-18. It was clearly Sharon Stone in this dream. But she actually represented a couple men who are dear to me at this time in my life. I became quite certain of this as I edited this poem, reading it over and over for sense and grammar, etc. Strong associations surfaced between roles she's played and my male friends, along with other pointers in the dream imagery. I was then surprised I'd not recognized who she symbolized sooner. I hasten to add that I'm not totally free of my own "goldfish bowl." Which could be why I can sometimes recognize it on someone else. (Possibly no one ever is free of this barrier. Maybe we only spend more or less time out from behind it.) Photomorph "Winter's Cup" (6-21-10 10006v2b) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

THE HEART DISSEMBLES (photomorph) & "even hearts dissemble..." (non-dream tanka) by Roswila

even hearts dissemble
to protect those they live with
from too much pain:
better to dust the world with brightly
colored lies than more truthful darkness


[tanka written 3-11-18, to go with the above Photomorph "The Heart Dissembles" (2-19-10 19952v9c) which was just tortured into this shape today, also. BTW, I did not come to the photo knowing where I wanted to take it. I rarely, if ever, do. I followed its "lead." And found out as I let the tanka unfold, a bit more of what prompted the Photomorph's direction. And, truthfully speaking (big wry laugh), I don't feel either pic or poem are up to my usual mediocre efforts. But they are what I'm offering. At least they're not re-posts. (I do have some vague dream recall from last night and may be able to work it up into a poem. In fact, I only just now recalled it as I finished typing these comments.)

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.