Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Thursday, June 09, 2011


Never thought I'd type these words, but it's getting harder and harder to buckle down and do this monthly post. Partly because of the work involved. But also because I have less and less to say about it all. Well, it's more that I don't want to keep repeating that nothing much has changed. Especially in the face of what's happening in the world beyond my nano-corner of it. Hm, I just looked out my window, wondering where this train of thought is going, if anywhere at all. And I see that "June Gloom" (both May Gray and June Gloom are usual here, and sometimes July No Sky) has burned off and the sun is out. The lightly nodding tree leaves are such a lovely green. Yes, I'm grateful to be here, and now.


[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]

May 1, 2011

one, too young and skinny
the other, too grandfatherly
I think of Goldilocks
where’s the third just-right man
for me to joyfully hug

[tanka on a dream of 4-30-11. Can we spell “wishful thinking,” children? :-) Guess it’s appropriate for a dream like this when today (May 1st) is Beltane. The time of year when all the energies of growth and reproduction are on the rise. Just think on the symbolism of the May pole, especially with respect to this dream. And a BLESSED BELTANE (May Day) to all! Image by Roswila]

May 2, 2011


the SUV’s packed
and waiting next to a tall hedge
to go on the lam
it’s entire front end has giant
upright french fries roped to it

[a tanka on a dream of 5-1-11. After an initial laugh, this put me in mind of the Ten of Wands in the Rider/Waite/Smith Tarot:

Image at top by Roswila]

May 3, 2011


we’re camped for the night
in the welcoming woods
successful escape

I don’t inform our
young boxing kangaroo why
it’s hand-cuffed – I want
it to figure out it’s a
consequence of its actions

my travel companion
worries the kangaroo’s conscience
isn’t that mature yet
that it will think we’re being
arbitrary and uncaring

he tells the young ‘roo
it’s cuffed because it hit those
two women back home –
he and I argue our cases
to each other by the campfire

[a dreamku and three tanka on a dream of 5-2-11. Image by Roswila]

May 4, 2011


formerly a snake
the posed porcelain cat greets
me in the kitchen
snake or cat I still fear it
and approach cautiously

after all, I’d foiled
one of it’s early snaky plots
and rescued a girl

I skirt a rising flame
my inner sense warns of something
else approaching the door

the cool cat watches
I use my will to erect
a warding barrier
it’s a giant head with a wide
open fearsome roaring mouth

the posturing cat
pontificates on my strength
saying: “No matter
your actual level of skill
you always go out, full bore”

[a tanka, two dreamku, and two tanka on a dream of 5-3-11. Image by Roswila]

May 5, 2011


during the final
run-through of the play they suggest
my cat do a walk-on
I’m not at all sure my skittish
independent pet wants to

dressing for the opening
in my small crowded room
I hold my wiggling cat
his salt and pepper hairs get
all over my clothes

my wheedling words
that nothing more than showing
up on stage is needed
convince neither me nor
this determined to flee cat

[three tanka on a dream of 5-4-11. Image by Roswila]

May 6, 2011

“A 1950's Teen Horror Movie”

my date’s blond and handsome
he’s also clearly a were-wolf
I could not care less
about his affinity for fur
as he’s extremely sexy

he parks his red porsche
we get to it right away
hot and heavy sex

the back seat’s full of
aliens from another planet
one by one I enjoy
fast intense sex with each
of their very odd bodies

a motherly type who’s
really a male I did twice
says I should probably
have twins but that I’m not
ready for parenthood

twins stay only a should – the future erased

[a tanka, a dreamku, two tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 5-5-11. Image by Roswila]

May 7, 2011


the room is dark
and echoes with voices
an infant and mobster
have both been endangered
the infant just kidnapped

the mobster declares
to would be rescuers
“The best way to save
the baby’s to first ensure
that I’m no longer in danger”

oddly sensible, this necessary evil

[two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 5-6-11. Image by Roswila]

May 8, 2011


to all mothers, especially those among my friends and family, and with a special hug to Stef (who's a mother for the second time very recently).

No compelling dream recall. There was something about a world cup soccer match between England and France. Everyone was rushing across the English Channel to France where the play-off would take place. The French were in a panic about possibly losing. Newspaper headlines in France were produced using brand-new amazing technology with moving pictures (association: the newspapers in Harry Potter novels :-D). I was an intern on a small newspaper just beginning to learn this technology at a very minor level. Enjoying as usual the artistry involved, but the nuts and bolts techie stuff? Not so much. Which pretty much is how I actually feel about the explosion of communications and wireless stuff these days. Image at top by Roswila.

May 9, 2011


recalled while dreaming:
Nine of Wands and Ten of Swords,
but addressing what?

“Those relationship
issues you’ve been dreaming about”
a man says softly

dreaming mind muses ... the cards make sense now

the former my fight
to take good care of myself
and the latter, how
utterly defeated I feel
though I note a rising sun

[two dreamku, a monoku, and a tanka on a dream of 5-8-11. It’s very unusual for me to dream about Tarot (which I’ve always considered odd). And even when I do, I rarely dream of an exact Tarot card. It’s usually my dreaming mind’s re-working of it. In this instance, though, the cards were clearly these from the well-known Rider/Waite/Smith deck:

[Image at top: a possible Ten of Swords for my deck-in-progress, the Found Tarot (photos for this deck are mixed in with other sorts of Tarot posts on this gallery and journal) by Roswila]

May 10, 2011


feeling justified
I get difficult with my
long-time younger friend –
if not the best way to respond
I don’t think I’m outrageous

she condescends saying
she and others have long thought
I need professional
help with a complete
personality change

and yet it was her
hiding mother who caused this fuss –
my friend’s betrayal
all the greater in my eyes
as she knows what her mother did

[three tanka on a dream of 5-8-11. Image by Roswila]

May 11, 2011


I look by his feet
on the floor of the crowded bus
“You brought the wrong purse”
I say, “Mine’s bright pink, remember?”
and toe the ochre one he’d grabbed

I insist we turn
around, return the ochre one
and reclaim mine –
we head to the bus door
as he explores the ochre purse

puzzling, he shows me
a frenemy’s I.D. from it’s depths –
no surprise to me

[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 5-10-11. Image by Roswila]

May 12, 2011

no dreams tumble from
the night’s vanishing branches
an empty net waits

[dreamku on night of 5-11-11. Image by Roswila]

May 13, 2011


he’s driving us straight at
an on-coming big wheeler –
from the passenger seat
I yell at him to swerve aside
but it’s way too late

the collision’s no
collision at all but soft –
both vehicles
diffusing quickly in one
radiant white haze

[two tanka on a dream of 5-13-11. Image by Roswila]

May 14, 2011


singing my heart out
and hitting each note right on
relieved and shaky

welcome applause I pause in the spotlight

my father’s spirit
walks up to me radiating even
brighter soft light,
his embrace filled with delight
and deep acknowledgment

stunning realization – he’d never not loved me

[a dreamku, monoku, tanka, and monoku on a dream of 5-13-11. Image by Roswila]

May 15, 2011


Dream One:

captives, she and I,
in his lush well-cared for greenhouse
serial killer

it’s not she he wants,
only me – he lets her run
his arrogant grin

I will not be killed!
I let loose a terrible scream
of rage and power
stopping him in his tracks
and backing him right off

my feeling of strength
a vague sense he’s not what he seems
the dream disperses

Dream Two:

all are endangered
in the loose knit women’s group –
although the one
with the loosest connection
I stand by and try to help

my help feels empty –
later as we relax in safety
the woman I’d aided
thanks me profusely
and quite genuinely

it’s all a matter
of perception and belief
my “ahHAH!” moment

[a dreamku series each on two separate dreams of 5-14-11. Image by Roswila]

May 16, 2011


one room wood cabin:
the night’s frigid, the parents
away visiting

the babysitter
starts pushing a large cabinet
in front of a window
she wants to block the freezing
stream of air that’s blowing in

wasted effort – the cabin’s old and creaky

[a dreamku, tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 5-10-11. Image: "Against a Wall" by Roswila]

May 17, 2011

[Only dream recall from last night was that whenever I woke and changed position I was humming the theme song from an old (I believe British) T.V. show, "The New Adventures of Black Beauty." I've always loved horses. Image by Roswila]

May 18, 2011


I set them up,
now only two talking heads
on the cold stone floor

she expresses ire
at him, her former lover,
for the first time ever

he engages her
quickly in an argument
a wistful tone
apparent when he declares
now” we’re finally fighting”

I assume they’re
back together and leave
the room disappointed –
he catches up with me in the
long narrow hallway

full-bodied and tall,
a warm hand on my shoulder,
he says “You’re the one”
I can’t believe it and ask
why, when he could have her back

without hesitation
he lists odd things I do
that he values,
then leans closer with a small
smile saying “... and you love me”

[two dreamku and four tanka on a dream of 5-17-11. Image by Roswila]

May 19, 2011


standing room only
“Why are you all in my room?”
I yell to be heard

the total strangers
mill about and ignore me
frustration rises
I yell again, and yet again
“What are you all doing here?”

no one responds no one looks at me

my younger sister
wends her way over to me
momentary relief
but then it’s clear she just wants
to quiet me down

her amused condescension,
I’d rather she'd ignored me --
who are these people!

[a dreamku, tanka, monoku, tanka, and dreamku on a dream of 5-19-11. Image by Roswila]

May 20, 2011

the young blonde beauty
admits to her crush on him
handsome dark-haired guy

the orange feather in his cap – a wind stirs

[a dreamku and monoku on a dream of 5-19-11. Image by Roswila]

May 21, 2011

the gifts to be given
completely fill all the shelves
the prices being
put on each are too high –
nothing without a cost

[tanka on a dream of 5-20-11. Image “Beyond the Veil” by Roswila]

May 22, 2011


a pleasant surprise
he joins me in exploring
the color spectrum
first we absorb green’s essence
as we lean into each other

we do not succeed
as well with the next color
but stay body-close
a vague sexual feeling stirs
but he respects my languid no

then the color blue
completely imbues us both
its shades and turnings
flow back and forth between us
connecting us, body and mind

I briefly wonder
what the next color will be
we’re almost melded
nearly liquid, and softly warm
an embodied delta

[four tanka on a dream of 5-21-11. Image by Roswila]

May 23, 2011


the blue peony keeps
showing through along garden’s edge
here - there - here again

a visit from
the shy High Priestess? and if so,
what does She herald

[a dreamku on a dream of 5-22-11. Another visit from a Tarot card. As I’ve mentioned recently, these Tarot dream visits have tended to be rare, especially in literal form. In this dream I immediately “saw” The High Priestess in The Herbal Tarot:

when I realized the moving blue flower was a peony. (Peony is the plant attributed to The High Priestess in this deck.) Image at top by Roswila]

May 24, 2011


folk who need protection
as they travel crowd the station
trust in government

an empty train slows
but does not stop at the platform
an armed FBI
agent jumps on each car
to be sure it’s safe

a loud shot rings out
as the train picks up speed again
hidden hijackers

[a dreamku, tanka, and dreamku on a dream of 5-23-11. Image by Roswila]

May 25, 2011

that long-time friend
kept popping up in my dreams --
all context lost to the night

[dreamku on several dreams of 5-24-11. Image by Roswila]

May 26, 2011


familiar faces –
an ex-president, a young
martial arts star –
crowd the night’s dreams along with
many others now forgotten

what rises on waking – only onion breath

[a tanka and a monoku on dreams of 5-25-11. Image by Roswila]

May 27, 2011


I found sitting on
the wooden bench, looking at
the sea far below
not scary – but standing
and peering down, terrifying

each in our own times
have come too close to the cliff’s edge
she left her cap there

I’m very concerned
she could go over the edge
I’ll get her cap for her

[a tanka and two dreamku on a dream of 5-26-11. Image by Roswila]

May 29, 2011


if these old bones were
hollow as a flute
would they too sing instead
of ache ungratefully in the
sun-bright breeze and could
the air grow greatly green
with lianas of music to
cradle two strangers
on a curbside perch

(*not a dreamku)

[No dream recall. The above photo was an easy pick to go with this new non-dream poem. I love fiddle ferns, from the first buds and unfurlings on bare wand-like branches, to these full graceful leafings. They are like slow, delicious music to watch during spring. I also really like that statue (on a fountain). She's a hard one for me to get decent pix of, often obstructed or up-staged, and the light on that side of our grounds entrance is often way too shadowy over her. My camera has lots of issues with light; more accurately, it's operator still does. Going off manual focus still is not something I've attempted. I just want to get the shot I'm seeing and not fuss. Of course that too often means I don't get the shot. Though I have to admit sometimes that just encourages me to do some sort of artsy computer manipulation and cropping that was not in my original vision for the shot at all. Hm, I might do well to remember that in life in general. In other words, there's always something to be appreciated in any moment. If we're not totally attached to getting what we'd hoped or worked for. Image by Roswila]

May 29, 2011


I trace my tired fingers
along the white whorls
that ring the rock
I use to weight my papers.

It opens in my palm, a flower,
an oyster, a treasure chest.

Worlds lie within:
volcanoes and aqueducts,
monuments and paving stones,
meteors and mountains.
Worlds I long to write about.

My boss enters the room.

The rock shuts fast.

I put it back
on its pile of papers
and return to work.

Outside my office window
the sun glides slowly
into the bowl of Madison Square Garden
like a glowing cherry.

(*not a dreamku)

[Again, very little dream recall, and what I have isn't compelling. So here's a very old free verse, non-dream based poem of mine from 1991. I was living in New York City and working in an office overlooking Madison Square Garden. I've been feeling a wee bit of nostalgia about NYC where I lived virtually all my life before moving here to California in February of 2008. My before-sleep reading right now is a mystery set largely on Long Island, NY in the months just following 9/11, which I recall all too well. The above photo is, of course, a little color manipulated on my computer. Image by Roswila]

May 30, 2011


long divorced, they fight
exactly the same way they did
when they were married –
his deep upset and her shock
as this dawns on them both

they’d blamed each other
back then – now, there’s a mystery
they’d rather figure out
but their fighting has caused a fire
and won’t solve the stranger’s murder

absorbing the truth
of then into now they stand down
neither knows what to do

[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 5- 29-11. Image by Roswila]

May 31, 2011


vaguely resembling
a long word for “enchantment”
the strange woman’s name

egg on my face – I’d
corrected his pronunciation
but it really is said
very much like a word meaning
“The Contrary One”

[a dreamku and tanka on dream of 5-30-11. Image by Roswila]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****