Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Friday, November 30, 2007


Journal Cover Collage #5, by Patricia Kelly

I really have no obvious reason as I usually do to have the above image head up this month’s dreamku. I can only “justify” it based on my knowledge that the vast majority of the dreamku below are addressing my impending move cross country to California, at least in part. And that horses for me symbolize motion, the physical body, activity (among many other things). I feel like I’m calling on the spirit of work horses to help me accomplish all that I have to do to make this big transition. Horses like that golden Belgian on the right/middle. Strong, sturdy, broad-backed, patient .... That last is where I need a work horse’s example and inspiration the most. Patience has never been my strong suit.

The only theme I can see below is that of people relationships. Which is not surprising as I’ve been overwhelmed by memories, as I sort through virtually my entire life to see what I need or want to take with me, and what it is timely and best to let go of. This choosing to let go applies both literally and figuratively. And it is an intense and oftentimes sad process, but also very liberating.


November 4, 2007

a hurt kitten?
no, a small human baby
guilted again

November 5, 2007

no more near misses
the dark shadow-car
leads us through the night

November 6, 2007

man in the doorway
a baby and puppy speed
to another door

November 7, 2007

a vague presence
must I be forgiven
to forgive him

November 8, 2007

his delight as I
hug him passionately
who’s more surprised

November 9, 2007

loving mother
she’s to play Michael Jackson
in the movie

November 10, 2007

they serve us rare steaks
then start cutting them for us
can I stomach so much?

November 11, 2007

very condensed codes
have songs within them
our rewards

November 12, 2007

each has a mailbox
in the white plaster wall
first, find the beam stud

November 13, 2007

a dog catcher
the mangled ear mutt’s gut hunch
saves the strays again

November 14, 2007

my crazy houseguest
does not speak English
her short spiked hair

November 15, 2007

she’s let the check deposits
pile up

November 16, 2007

mice skitter in
and out of a neighbor’s home
my dirty kitchen

November 17, 2007

Harmony’s loan
I play her oddly shaped
new didjeridu

November 18, 2007

he’s grown his hair
shoulder length again
strands of memory

November 19, 2007

I unearth my old
art high school entrance exam
that moving painting

November 20, 2007

she plays a death song
on her new didjeridu
slightly large mouthpiece

November 21, 2007

he proudly proclaims
how he’s going to change
trial testimony

November 22, 2007

my first roommate
walks in and out of a dream
exclamation point

November 23, 2007

the packed closet shelf
still has room on it
anything’s possible

November 24, 2007

dance invitation
I stand with my back against
the wooden wall

November 25, 2007

a blind friend’s tracks
I’ve the same trouble feeling
my way through the dark

November 26, 2007

her tee shirt
ripe with cherries
he touches one

November 27, 2007

the short haired girl
wears tough guy clothing
music lesson

November 28, 2007

inserted in front
of the foreign growth
uncommon implant

November 29, 2007


I stand
by the outbound side
an aching to go back

the highway so like
many I’ve walked by before
first steps

November 30, 2007

for being taught how
she gives him credit I’m due
lesson learned again

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

PRAYING TO LOSE MY HEAD, by Patricia Kelly


Oh, Deity of Blinding Light,
my unknown father,
free me from this head
of mine, cut this obstacle
from my knotted neck
in one clean swipe

Relieve me of its weight
of eyes that see as through the darkest glass
of ears that hear only ancient echos and newest fears
of a mouth stained deeply by bitterness
of a nose that is not inspired of spirit

Then do not rush to comfort my Great Mother
but let Her grief echo in the emptiness
that bleeds where my misunderstandings roiled
before your blade’s release

Let Her tears flood over me until
You are moved to gift me with a new
way to comprehend

And until this gift, I will wait unknowing
in the flooding darkness, knowing only
that You will keep Your promise
of transformation

Background: One of Ganesh’s titles is “Remover of Obstacles.” I wrote this poem on first day of Ganesh Chaturthi 2007 (September 15), inspired by the story of Ganesh’s origin: Before Ganesh had an elephant’s head, he was guarding His Mother Parvati's bath. He and His father, Shiva, did not recognize each other, and when Ganesh refused Shiva entrance to Parvati’s bath, Shiva cut off Ganesh’s head. Parvati’s grief was so overwhelming that Shiva went out into the jungle and cut off the head of the first animal He saw, an elephant, and made it Ganesh’s new head.

I’ve had this poem in my stack of possible future posts since September, well before I knew I'd be moving to California. And reading it again today I find it intriguing given all the mental and emotional letting go being required of me as I prepare to make this move cross country. Then there are all those moments when I do feel as if I am losing my head with all the worry, and all that has to be figured out and coordinated. (Not to mention the overwhelming flood of memories as I go through a lifetime of things collected.) However, ultimately I always come back to the joy of it all, to recalling why I am going through this. Of course, it remains to be seen what the intangible results will be once I’ve made the move and am acclimated. How will I have changed? I have an inkling, actually, it will not so much be that I will have changed as that I will have come back to a self who’s been in suspension for years. This inkling and the curiosity it generates also pulls me forward when I am feeling overwhelmed or stuck, and praying for transformation.

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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