Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Tuesday, June 01, 2010


What to say about this month...well, I “saw” color in my dreams more frequently than I ever have before. Usually I just know what color something is as I dream, but don’t “see” it in my dreaming mind.

These last two lines quoted verbatim from a dream of May 7 pretty much encapsulate the month:

”Red heart pumping in the
middle of the blues”

Life is overall extremely blue for me right now. Not only because of depression but due to worries for friends who’ve had surgery, and even a deep sadness over events like the terrible oil “spill” in the Gulf.


[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]

May 1, 2010


new rock singing group
I’m a dark-haired young woman
and new to the band

we’re all quite nervous
as we’ve not really rehearsed
opening night

despite a lot of
improvisation our show
goes very smoothly

we hold the last note
spot on and together
I have enough breath
to hold the note several
beats longer by myself

backstage our joy
keeps bubbling as we wind down
our manager comments
that that’s the way to do it:
improvisation rules!

we’re told to line up
in performance order
no one stands by me

seems improv’s only
sauce for the goose, not gander
unspoken shunning

[tankas and dreamku on a dream of 4-30-10. Image by Roswila]

May 2, 2010

long estranged
we chat by my computer
links scroll in the air

[old dreamku on old dream of 5-14-08. I really enjoy dreams when they make visual puns like this old dream/ku above: computer links standing for links/connections between people. Image by Roswila]

May 3, 2010


they point out to me
that Christmas decorations
hang in a straight line
quite high across the ceiling
a stretch even for tall me

he demonstrates that
the dark placards I need
have all been moved
out of the way and high up
neatly but another stretch

over my head all this reorganization

[two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 5-2-10. Image by Roswila]

May 4, 2010



this is not the way
to duplicate a person:
a stab on each side
of his spine by two ghostly
internalized young women


we talk on the phone
I suddenly know she’s
been making love
to him as I share deeply
I slam down the phone

[two tanka on a dream of 5-3-10. Image by Roswila]

May 5, 2010

renaissance fair
costumes tossed from a car
by the front entrance

[old dreamku on an old dream of 9-18-06. Hardly any dream recall last night and couldn't find an old dreamku that felt clearly relevant to my life now. But if I think long enough on any old dream I can almost always find some association to today -- even if it's a bit of a stretch. I'd say that reflects what I see the vast majority of dreams being about. That is, they are largely like Rorschach ink blots onto which we can project whatever unconscious contents we need to when we wake. Image by Roswila]

May 6, 2010


he knifes Madonna
in the night in her new home
her intense struggle

she’s not quite able
to stab him with her own knife
his surprise she’s armed
turns quickly into terror
she must have known he’d come

she gasps her last breath
moonlight silvers her blonde hair
a ghastly last view
with blood darkening her throat
touches him not a whit

he slowly slides the
plate glass side door open
fear of being seen

[tanka and dreamku on a dream of 5-5-10. OK, most folk would call this a nightmare. But I don’t. It neither upset me during the dreaming nor later on recalling it. Rather, on waking I was curious to get beneath all the hyperbole. As dreams often do, deep emotions are couched here in rather concrete images. Image by Roswila (someday I'll have both the proper equipment and the skills to get some good moon pix, but at least this one reflects the mood of this dream rather well)]

May 7, 2010


the country singer’s
tall dark and handsome in jeans
he limps happily
to a music console
to play his newest ballad

he sings clear and strong
“Red heart pumping in the
middle of the blues”

[a tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 5-6-10. Image by Roswila].

May 8, 2010


invaders’ from Mars
human kids abandoned to the
care of non-humans

we sneak through their camp
seeking to save the children
we free them all

one young boy flees past
a huge mother alien
on alert in front
of her striped wide open tent
calling out in sonic waves

her mouth spirals
outward filling her roundness:
“We become something
entirely other when you
pay us no mind at all”

[two dreamku and two tanka on a dream of 5-6-10. I “heard” those lines in quotes at the end during the dream and think they are the point of it all. Image by Roswila]

May 9, 2010


is my face red!
I forgot to pack a robe
and now I’m naked

he escorts me to
the big meeting anyway
large pale bath towel

rear exposure
I flip part of the towel
to cover my butt

[old dreamku series on an old dream of 11-02-09. Image by Roswila]

May 10, 2010


I keep sending folk
I know to the basement
waiting out the hour
until night time business
is scheduled to begin

a yelling young man
clambers up the basement stairs
“There’s blood all over!”

keeping my cool I
check out the situation
relief’s palpable
when I announce to all
“It’s just the blood of childbirth”

[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 5-9-10. Red’s been showing up in my dreams the last few days – another dream last night had red in it, too. Given I rarely actually “see” color in a dream – opposed to just knowing what color a dream object is – when I do it has particular significance to me. Robert Hoss’s COLOR QUESTIONNAIRE FOR DREAMWORK Image by Roswila]

May 11, 2010

my sexy old red
and black underpants fit again
successful diet

[dreamku on a dream of 5-9-10. Another dream in which I "saw" red. LOL! "Seeing red" is an expression meaning being angry. Normally I'd take that association of mine seriously, however in this dream I don't think anger was being referenced. The mood was surprise and then delight. Image by Roswila]

May 12, 2010


the young dark man
seems to find me attractive
my hesitation

water starts pouring
inside my full shoulder bag
what’s the source

I rummage around
and lift out the silver tube
from which the water
keeps flooding into my purse
I call out for the young man

he’s not free to help
but gestures sincerely
for me to wait
what do I think he can do
that I can’t do for myself

[two dreamku and two tanka on a dream of 5-10-10. Image by Roswila]

May 13, 2010


my roommate and I
invite the stranger to stay
odd nameless young man

I call his consulate
to learn what I can of him
fruitless effort

the young man asserts
he will show us amazing things
a small red frame chair
floats before us waiting for
my roommate’s and my mounting

we both get on it
just fitting in side by side
it rises in the sky
as we float the young man talks
from below of what we see

both the unknown
and the height make me nervous
but I settle down
until I recall who urged
us into this high free-float

others are aware
we’re loose in the sky
a rescue mission
begins gathering below
as they seek to track us

the up arc we’ve made
starts a slow downward curve
the chair turns deep green
rescuers and riders alike
fear an imminent crash

a young woman calls
to others to meet us on
the glittering beach
despite our foolish flight
my roommate and I land softly

[two dreamku and six tanka on a dream of 5-12-10. More red! Image by Roswila]

May 14, 2010

singers in red robes
wearing neat beige suits beneath
surprise performance

[dreamku on a dream of 5-12-10. I recall noting as I was dreaming that “here’s the color red again.” In a way, I can then see the beige suits as the dream’s response to the implied question: What’s under all this red I'm seeing in dreams recently? I’m tempted to see both the robes and suits as personas. That is, clothing = something we put on and take off as need be. Image by Roswila]

May 15, 2010

long walk on train tracks
her foot bleeds again as we
head toward our motel

[dreamku on a dream of 5/11/10. This one echos an earlier recent dream in April in which I cut my foot. It also – by implication – has the color red in it. As these two dreams preceded the recent spate of dreams in which red appeared I wonder if they are related. Image by Roswila]

May 16, 2010


I try to tell her
what the party’s all about
soap opera stars
arrive in fuchsia costumes
all bedrooms are occupied

whispering my hope
that she won’t mind this last bit
of information
I start to take off my clothes
and say “It’s a nude party”

[two tanka on a dream of 5-16-10. Fuchsia is reddish! Image by Roswila]

May 17, 2010


apartment face-off
we all pack up to move out
me on one side
everyone else on the other
emotionally strained

I give up struggling
to keep these relationships
my defeat gives them
the excuse to let go
(they never liked me anyway)

[two tanka on a dream of 5-16-10. Image by Roswila]

May 18, 2010


crowded airy church
we’re happy she’s to be wed
and impatient, too

the bride stands in front
and talks to us all at length
restless gathering

at first I sneak out
with pillows to take a nap
sleep won’t come

I quickly return
standing up front by the bride
I take a chance and
speak cautiously to her
“Please get on with the wedding”

[three dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 5-17-10. Image "The Lovers" in The Found Tarot by Roswila]

May 19, 2010


crowded racks of clothes
my friend looks for the right
sizes for her
I happily point out a
rainbow colored pantsuit

it’s just too big in the waist
we turn to searching

but it might fit you her off-hand comment

to my amazement
she’s quite correct, it fits me
I’ve lost enough weight

caveat emptor
I have to keep the pantsuit
at just the correct
temperature or it will shrink
and constrict my waist

[tanka, dreamku and a monoku on a dream of 5-19-10. I happen to love bright, rainbow colors. And, here again, I “saw” the colors in the dream – as opposed to just knowing what color something is. I rarely “see” color in dreams but have been rather frequently for about a week now.
Image by Roswila (color and focus manipulated by computer, something I rarely do beyond simple cropping and lightening but enjoy experimenting with once in a while)]

May 20, 2010


as she runs away
she tosses something at us
desperate housewife

we duck then notice
it’s the core of an apple
relieved and amused
we continue pursuit
of this determined hausfrau

[a dreamku and tanka on a dream of 5-19-10. I blush to admit I have begun watching “Desperate Housewives.” The “hausfrau” in this dream was the character Gabriel from that T.V. show. She couldn’t look more different from me – petite, dark hair and eyes, and young – but it’s her action that gives away that she represents an aspect of myself. Also, a dream occasionally uses an image that is the opposite of what it is referencing, maybe to slip its point past our conscious resistance. Image by Roswila]

May 21, 2010

[No clear dream recall and I don't feel like rummaging through older work for a dreamku to post. So here's a photo from a batch taken in July of last year at a "Butterflies Alive" exhibit at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. Omigosh! I just looked up for no particular reason at the T.V. and a soap opera character is looking at just exactly this sort of butterfly (Monarch). Talk about synchronicity! Exploring what this is saying to me will be just as intriguing as working with a dream. By the way, that hand "belongs" to a fellow resident. And almost as much fun as getting a picture of the butterfly (no mean task) I like how that flower looks like a bracelet on her wrist. If there's a "Butterflies Alive" exhibit again this summer I hope to go. I'd love to try for better photos now that I have more experience and a somewhat better camera. Image by Roswila]

May 22, 2010

[No dreamku for today. Here's one of my newest photos. Cacti are blooming like crazy on our grounds. Since my approach to dream work is heavily influenced by what I understand about Jungian psychology, I love putting up a picture with such a clear shadow in it. Image by Roswila]

May 23, 2010


my father appears
willing this time around to
speak of mama’s death
maybe even to tell me
how she felt knowing she’d die

my held breath as I approach him hopeful heart

* * * *

my brother and I
happily anticipate
the birthday party
our father nixes the fun
declaring birthdays a sham

an uncle agrees
but makes a brief plea
for birthdays, Santa,
and Easter bunnies to live
a while longer for us kids

[tanka on separate dreams of 5-22-10. These are both from the same night. What a strange mix. Though I note both have the issue of death in them. One of a person, the other of beliefs. Image by Roswila]

May 24, 2010

giant photograph
of a sci-fi convention
whose nano-pieces
mosaic-like make up the whole:
stunning ancient desert cliffs

[tanka on a dream of 5-24-10. This is only one image from a lengthy dream of a photo album I’d created by many different photographers. On recall, this one struck me most because it seems to say the future is built of the past. A possible clairvoyant note: I checked my emails earlier and one has a series of incredible photos attached. All with the same sense of scope and awesomeness my dream one had. By the way, I’m not saying this possible clairvoyant input is either the meaning or cause of my dream. Just pointing out how our dreaming minds may search just about anywhere and even “anywhen” for images suitable to its night time purposes. Image by Roswila.]

May 25, 2010

warm light, trees, and elves
in her unfinished painting
points of connection

[old dreamku on an old dream of 4-2-07. Image "After the Rain" by Roswila (taken on the the grounds of the retirement community I live in)]

May 26, 2010


everyone tells her
it’s a very long walk home
unfazed she heads south
toward Florida her map of
a short-cut tucked safely away

a young dark-haired boy
confronts her with his concern
about the endless trip
she pats the map in her pocket
reassures him and walks on

in her clear mind’s eye
she sees the turnoff circled
on the crumpled map
and envisions the right turn
through Florida toward the far West

as if she were magnetized
her unknown home calls
even with the short-cut she knows
it’ll be a long haul

the sun steadies her she hikes on

[four tanka and a monoku on a dream of 5-25-10. I think walking home is a metaphor for approaching the end of my life. However, I won’t limit these walking home dreams just to an increasing awareness of my mortality. I also think they are about an increasing yearning to find my home within myself again. A home I wander far afield from all too often. Image by Roswila (a street in Isla Vista, where I used to be able to walk to, just before the small shopping and restaurant area)]

May 27, 2010


they strongly urge me
to admit myself to their
mental health program
I’ve been behaving in a
rageful uncontrolled manner

though their approach is
one of those new snake oil types
that keep popping up
I recognize I need help
and go through admission

an office worker
sadly announces they don’t
have a bed right now
a doctor attempts but fails
to work something out

my rage tries but can’t
rise in the middle of this
ironic outcome
even giving into them
has gotten me nowhere

[four tanka on a dream of 5-28-10. Image by Roswila]

May 28, 2010

he makes a health drink
in a large green tumbler
her tentative thanks

[old dreamku on an old dream of 5-28-08. It may seem strange to delve into old dreams. But I do so on occasion because I believe that many -- if not most -- of our issues stay with us for a good length of time and even our entire lives. Not only that, but I understand dreams as symbols into which we pour our unconscious contents. (Thanks to Jung for that definition of symbols.) So a dream doesn't have life just when it's dreamed, but can provide a vessel for what we need to know and feel even long after it's been dreamed. Image by Roswila]

May 29, 2010


I sort through my clothes
the little black dress folded
to be stored away

my long lost friend
retrieves it and slips it on
I’m sure it won’t fit

it drapes around her
as if made to order
my total surprise
bright colors I’d forgotten
light a bib of sewn squares

red yellow blue green a heart beat beneath

[a dreamku, two tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 5-29-10. Well, “butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” I’d not have thought I’d have such a basically positive dream last night. Both black and the presence of primary colors tend to indicate newness. And, yes, I did actually “see” all those colors and more, including a violet shade. Only left that one out due to syllable count. Also, the colors are above a beating heart, well, butter me up! Image by Roswila]

May 30, 2010

[Had plenty of dreams last night with lots of familiar themes, but I don't feel up to writing on any of them. Image by Roswila]

May 31, 2010

I’m slowly healing
she accompanies me on
the long bus ride back

[old dreamku on an old dream of 3-13-09. Image by Roswila]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****