Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Saturday, April 03, 2010


Spring is most definitely bursting out all over here in California. Although I don’t find myself wanting to take many pictures, I’m still drawn occasionally to gaze at some of the lovely blooms and new buds in the gardens on our grounds. Tomorrow’s Easter. May it bring rebirth for you all in whatever way is needed.


[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]

March 1, 2010

the beautiful box
may blow up in my face
dare I try the code

[old dreamku on an old dream of 10-12-06. Image by Roswila]

March 2, 2010


last minute shop at
my neighborhood bodega
spur of the moment
I cannot carry it all
and can only make one trip

the party awaits
I phone my friend to
help me heft it all

she’s been recruited
to negotiate a fight
I listen on my cell

she’s only hearing
one side of the argument
I can learn from this

[tanka and three dreamku on a dream of 3-1-10. Image by Roswila]

March 3, 2010


audience members
and a loud male voice-over
argue back and forth
her irritation rises
as the announcer continues

all program booklets
have clearly been used before
wrinkled loose pages flap

both she and a man
really want the show to start
restless audience

[tanka and two dreamku on a dream of 3-1-10. Image by Roswila]

March 4, 2010


back cover photo
of a British magazine:
people in the streets
honoring each other
for having lived so long

death day celebration growing phenomenon

[a tanka and monoku on a dream of 3-3-10. Image by Roswila]

March 5, 2010


she cradles the gun
in her arm wrapped in black
broken but hers

he says she has to
register this useless rifle
how absurd

they walk the crowded
fair grounds, she somewhat chagrined
security office

folk from different
countries staff the big room
she feels oddly at home

[dreamku series on a dream of 3-2-10. Image by Roswila]

March 6, 2010


he frantically
asks where his fiancé is
familiar young man

I tell him she and
another man are showering
what shower, he asks

I point: there’s one in
either end of the basement
you’ll hear which they’re in

he demands a pen
that I reluctantly give
why does he bother

he rushes to the stairs my concern rises

I realize she’s
really being held captive
my own search begins

she’s tied hand and foot
stretched out and totally nude
small basement room

her platinum hair
and slim young beauty clearly
her captor’s focus
cameras and lights abound
in the messy space

I hurry over
to untie her wrist bonds
she shakes her head no

she sits up freely there were no ties

why, I demand, why
put us all through this scare
she explains slowly
she’d let herself get triggered
into this frozen pose

her private war to
comprehend it all herself
agony flickers
across her proud young face
she understands less than I

[dreamku series with two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 3-5-10. Image by Roswila]

March 7, 2010


dreams of awards for
films about Hindu deities
should I watch the Oscars

time to let mystery
back in, to stop knowing
what is, what will be,
what has been, and be nothing
but an ever shifting space

[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 3-6-10. These two may not seem to fit together but they did and rather logically within the dream itself. It might help to know that my favorite Deities are from the Hindu pantheon. And that in relating to any Deity (Hindu or otherwise) I tend to be brought back to mystery. Here’s a draft of a poem I wrote on a long walk today. Although not a dream-based poem, it is clearly heavily influenced by the above dream:


a wind bursts over
the hot blacktop of the crosswalk and music
trills briefly from my flute walking
stick a visit from gamboling
Pan reminding that spring always
comes yearned for or denied welcomed
or not to play with whatever’s
open with whatever walks into
a moment unexpectant
round like an amazed
mouth about to sing an “oh!”
of delight

* * * *

Image by Roswila]

March 8, 2010

sell all
but her white satin sandals
his nervous command

[old dreamku on an old dream of 3/3/08. Image by Roswila]

March 9, 2010


my enemy puts her
full food tray across from me
evening meal

I’ll not sit near her
and rise to move elsewhere
her satisfied smirk

my back to others I eat alone so does she

[two dreamku and a monoku on a dream of 3-8-10. Image by Roswila]

March 10, 2010

I'm departing from a Daily Dreamku to make this IN MEMORIUM post:

Maryah Ford, a woman I liked very much and always thought I would take the time to get to know better some day, died last night. "Some day" will never come now. I will miss her beautiful smile and enthusiastic spirit. I will treasure those few delightful memories I have of her and feel a renewed determination not to wait to get to know someone -- there's no better time than now.

[Image by Roswila]

March 11, 2010


a plague infects
all of the nation’s infants
surviving quite rare
I put my three sick babies
in a sling and go on the road

as I reach the curb
two of my little ones die
my lamentation
joins the general murmur
of sorrow that fills the air

will my last baby
beat the terrible odds
she warbles a song
from beneath the swaddling
a shaky off-key tune

eucalyptus vines
form a small hillside arbor
trained carefully
by my friend who planted them
not sure of her choice of form

may I bury
my two dead infants here
under this greenness
my question of her sounds bold
in the briefly quiet air

sunlight on the twining leaves the earth warms my hands

[five tanka and a monoku on a dream of 3-10-10. Clearly influenced by the death of my friend, Maryah. I also note a vague reference to the adage “death comes in threes.” Yes, this end of life becomes more and more about loss and not only of people but of our own capabilities. But there is still the sun, the earth, and all that grows green, and each other. Image by Roswila]

March 12, 2010


two well-loved people
have drowned beneath the floor boards
my condolences

I reach out and hug
one of their closest friends
obese young woman

she reassures me she’s fine her small warm smile

[two dreamku and a monoku on a dream of 3-11-10. Image by Roswila]

March 13, 2010


she buys a soft drink
in a little paper cup
a sip at curbside

no sweetness here many tiny appendages

the spider-like thing
attaches itself to her lips
she can’t remove it

as she rips at it
pieces attach to her hands
tearing and tearing
she finally pulls it all
from the skin of her hands and lips

in the E.R.
she hears stories of children
nearly consumed
by these aggressive creatures
and adults gravely wounded

more attachment victims arrive her own wounds seem small

[two dreamku, two tanka, and two monoku on a dream of 3-12-10. Image by Roswila]

March 14, 2010

the plump blonde infant
tries to climb the full bookcase
I stop her gently
she clearly craves exercise
I scout the house for a safe space

[tanka on a dream of 3-13-10. Image by Roswila]

March 15, 2010


the well-liked house maid
points to a wall of the room
“there’s hidden space there”

between the kitchen
and this airy wood floor room
a small rental space

bunk beds won’t fit in
its slanted ceiling makes it
look like an attic

two beds would fill the floor travelers students maybe

[three dreamku and a monoku on a dream of 3-14-10. Image: "Self-Portrait: Trying to Hold a Box of Light," by Roswila]

March 16, 2010



the guest monkey
escapes it’s hired keeper
she’s very annoyed
only five dollars pay
isn’t worth chasing after it

a charming older
man takes over and retrieves
the clever monkey
he’s shorter than I and beams
a country western appeal

others see it first our brewing connection


he tells me to get
the paper he left behind
moving day

I wander around
his nearly empty rooms
all too familiar

is anything left
here that I want or could use
he’d never know

nothing attracts me untaken chance

[dreamku, tanka, and monoku on two dreams of 3-15-10. Image by Roswila.]

March 17, 2010


I continue to
crop and re-crop the photos
there’s no pleasing them

no words to this
effect escape their mouths
fleeting moues

[two dreamku on a dream of 3-16-10. Image by Roswila]

March 18, 2010


he locks me in a
shiny black runaway car
he’s jammed the brakes

I try to guide it
into a harmless crash
too much traffic
I attempt to keep the speed
down by steering uphill

the only way out
is through the narrow sunroof
too big a tumble
though from the roof I might reach
and grab onto a building

helicopter sounds
firemen wait blocks ahead
on building facades
we’ve had the same idea
of how I’m to escape

sheer terror rises
I leap for a building
a fireman’s grip slips
one below takes up the slack
several firemen haul me up

I tell this story
to a woman friend later
comfort as I cry

[dreamku and tanka on a dream of 3-17-10. Image by Roswila]

March 19, 2010


Stepmother Brother
Dad and I in a circle
song gathering
on top of the lyrics sheets
the one I’m to lead off with

but Stepmom sings first
then Brother’s song is up next
no lyrics available
he sings the intro just fine
we’re impressed he remembered

we’re supposed to be
singing “Oklahoma” songs
though neither of these
were from this wonderful show
we love to perform like this

I search for lyrics
to “I Cain’t Say No” as my
turn has come at last
Dad hands me travel brochures
and I put them aside

yearning to sing this favorite of mine frustration

[several tanka and a monoku on a dream of 3-18-10. Image by Roswila]

March 20, 2010


the young slim man cannot walk his welcoming smile

he talks to me from
his cottage’s neat front yard
fenced repartee

he watches me as
I show a blonde teenager
how I take photos
her boredom is obvious
and I suggest she move on

I have no idea
if the handicapped man
wants to talk more
my delight when he calls out
asking me into his yard

this new connection
is both quite sweet and scary
his head on my shoulder

I barely breathe then
relax into the silence
not knowing feels fine

[a monoku, two tanka, and two dreamku on a dream of 3-19-10. Image by Roswila]

May 21, 2010



medieval town
the poorest folk have sought safety
in the cathedral

they are welcome with
their children and livestock
tent city

the long war’s over
they can go home at last
their abandoned farms
awaiting reclamation
but they are happy here

the princess visits
the cathedral residents
she bids them stay

double celebration
in the echoing castle
joy all around
the farm folk rejoice
and the princess has suitors

a slim old woman
from the cathedral city
her flirtatious dance
envy rises on
a familiar wave of sadness
she’s always had this

this light confidence
from which she feeds everyone
my starvation


our princess wanders
greeting everyone in turn
her suitors await

the Chosen One
he’s said to be dark-haired
young and handsome

I believe I know
who the charmer is
a victorious knight

little fanfare when
the princess’s betrothed
arrives at feast’s end
fair-haired young plump and lively
he’s a well-loved commoner

[a mix of dreamku and tanka on a dream of 3-20-10. Image by Roswila]

March 22, 2010


carrying the man
up front as in a baby sling
long climb out begun
narrow hall upwards
a door looms above us

I strain against
the wood door to no effect
one more huge shove

snow piles up on us
as I lift the door open
just my rotten luck
to have chosen the first day
of spring to start this climb out

[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 3-21-10. Image by Roswila]

March 23, 2010


taking lots of sick
time off with out any guilt
ready for a nap

she offers me a
paying day job unplugging
questionable friend

“Could you reach the plug”
she says “It’s in a low deep space”
my bad knees

her long speech about
how she’ll re-arrange the cord
I do not trust her

[dreamku series on a dream of 3-22-10. Image by Roswila]

March 24, 2010


after a long walk I
approach the way back from this place
end of the storm

the more level route
slightly down and by a pond
flooded and muddy
but blessedly familiar;
the unknown path precipitous

neither route offers
footing I care to risk
set on getting home
I approach the known path
the flooding seems very deep

the unknown cliff side path lady or tiger

[a dreamku, two tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 3-23-10. Image by Roswila]

March 25, 2010

she rejects belief
in alternate realities
only time will tell

[old dreamku on an old dream of at least 4 years ago. I wish time would have told me by now that there are other ways to perceive reality. Which arguably makes it a different reality, or in the dream's language an alternate one. Every so often I do get this but habit and history sweep in and take over again all too readily. Holding on to an alternate way of perceiving under some of history's and habit's assaults is like trying to hold back the ocean with a net. Maybe there's a clue in that metaphor. Stop even trying to hold back the assaults and concentrate on beach combing once the waves have passed. And that's only half a joke. Image by Roswila]

March 26, 2010


the motley crowd
on the huge elevator

big elevator
but even bigger group
unwanted closeness

in spite of it all
or maybe because of it

I don’t trust all
the joshing and flirting
we ride downtown

our connecting stop
my close friends and I agree
to transfer together

in the subway station
I cannot find my buddies
standing watch by stairs

to my vast relief
one young woman friend finds me
what happened I ask

she doesn’t care
to explain and we move on
her bubbly mood

our transfer route waits
atop steep stair flights ahead
can I do this

[dreamku series on a dream of 3-25-10. Image by Roswila]

March 27, 2010

(a dream haibun)

Within the dream I recall that as in so many other dreams the multi-floor staircase in this apartment building is being renovated. Evidence of the work is scattered about – paint tarps, cans of plaster, brushes, extender handles – as if the workers are on a lengthy break. And also as before, I climb the first few flights with ease but find the third is not constructed for easy passage. But this time the nearly impassable gap to the fourth flight is bridged temporarily, all in white plaster. This was constructed to accommodate my very pregnant friend who uses a wheelchair:

I step up to
the plaster path
gratitude and relief

[old haibun (very simply put: prose writing topped by a haiku) on a dream of 10-05-09. I’m drawn to this old haibun because yesterday’s dreamku series had stairs, as well. This old dream is also an example of a somewhat lucid dream; that is, I knew I was dreaming as I dreamed, and even recalled earlier dreams with similar content. Image by Roswila ]

March 28, 2010


people line the night-time sidewalk voyeurs

my man and I hug
outside a building front door
pleased crowd

though fully clothed
we come close to making love
delicious heat thrills
through me only to stop
when my man backs off

he says next time we
need to go below the knees
my puzzlement

a man in the crowd
pipes up that on other streets
a dead body is perched
among the folk lining each block
so why not on this one

[a monoku, and two dreamku and tanka on a dream of 3-27-10. Image by Roswila]

March 29, 2010


I’m running late
I look from a balcony
over the plaza

it’s fastest to jump
I’ve done it before and gauge
where a clear spot is

women mill around
where none had been before
my frustration

I call down asking
the nearest woman to move
and empty a space
for me to land safely
she moves and I take my leap

each time I come close
to landing she gets in my way
I have to change
trajectory again and again
as I approach the ground

she backs me up
into a crowded closet
I slip upright down
between standing people
landing safely with ease

proud of my careful
landing, nevertheless concerned
I’ll somehow be blamed
for this near collision
I’d done nothing to create

[3 dreamku and 4 tanka on a dream of 3-28-10. Image by Roswila]

March 30, 2010


she’s being sued as
part owner of the scam
lengthy legal sheets

she won’t cop to it
her profit from it all so
small as to be zilch
and she wasn’t an owner
nor did she know of the fraud

she goes through all
her files for the records of
her nano-profits
the night’s blanket slowly
unraveling around her

she unearths her most
recent record of a gain:
a small plump human
curled between masses of files
asleep beneath her anxious gaze

the air hits it
this smallest bit of profit
crumbles into dust

[two dreamku and three tanka on a dream of 3-29-10. Image by Roswila]

March 31, 2010

her curt message
“He’s demanded a tip
for buying your drink”

how absurd
I always pay for his drink
the next time we meet

friendship turned on a dime sour dessert

[two dreamku and a monoku on a dream of 3-30-10. Here’s a tanka about last night's many dreams with storm images:

storm clouds permeate
the night’s dreams fore- or background
they blur the landscape
some fizzle into nothing
others burst and clear the air

Re: the above photo – I don't believe I've posted this sort before. It's highly cropped and deliberately blurred; something I've been experimenting with recently. Image by Roswila]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****