Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Wednesday, April 01, 2009


Image: by Roswila, posted with dreamku of March 15, 2009 below

This is one of those month’s I feel stumped to say anything clarifying about. I do find this dreamku from March 24, 2009, quite amusing:

the large frying pan’s
labels slide to one side
more room for my butt

As if labeling things is no help when your butt is in the frying pan!

And the end of this month was complicated by some celebration and mourning of the birthday and brief life of a boy I’d raised who was killed just before he turned 15. Here’s only one of the dreams that reflects this, from March 23, 2009:

it’s the softest dream
of all from this busy night
fading as I wake
I clutch at its warm edges
like a blanket for the day

there was a young man
in my now thread bare dream
the day’s images hook
on memory but only
frustrating echos land

It was this dream that led me to remember that his birthday is March 22 and that he would have been 40.

I’ve recently read and reviewed here the book THE SECRET HISTORY OF DREAMING which has re-awakened me to the idea of “big dreams.” Dreams some folk have that carry import beyond their personal lives, with messages for their communities. So another problem I’m having with looking at this month’s dreams is my sense of how intensely personal my dreams are – and also my way of working with them. I almost feel apologetic for this focus. Yet I also believe that whatever any single person brings back from the dreaming world that enriches their own life, enriches the lives of those around them. So I suppose I’m suffering from a little bit of “big dream envy.” LOL! I can’t point to some amazing huge tapestry of a dream with clear messages for those around me, but I can continue to be grateful for the little pieces of beach glass that wash up on the shore of my mornings, and learn from and share them here.


March 1, 2009

he wants to drum from
the conference room ceiling
expecting others
to lift him up no matter
their own needs or wishes

she says assistance
after informed consent is fine
two young volunteers

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]

March 2, 2009

he’s owed much money
from past therapy clients
paid up now in part
this former lover of mine’s
more grateful for the acknowledgment

[dream tanka]

March 3, 2009

she uses clear bags
to protect her shoed feet
greasy left-overs squish

March 4, 2009

it’s hard to pinpoint
that classroom I met him in
dark-haired young suitor

March 5, 2009

she answers my call
then hangs right up
at least she’s alive

March 6, 2009

she seduces me
with caresses as we look at
the sunlit ocean,
the shore curving on the right ...
I’m grateful for my new life

she leaves abruptly
with the boyfriend I’d not known of
her cavalier good-bye

[dream tanka and dreamku on one dream]

March 7, 2009

a spare modern theater
two long rows of balconies
among which I sit
watching the many film clips
many seats down, my uncle

ambivalence reigns
I pass where I think he sits
will he notice me
this judgmental old uncle
I always so loved

men in the audience
leer at a chesty actress
in a low-cut dress
inappropriate, I think
the way she’s been costumed

my wish to be seen
overridden by sexual threat
safety in darkness

[three dream tanka and a dreamku on one dream]

March 8, 2009

he spoons her closely
she dreams singing "Love look away..."
all night through

March 9, 2009

crude young guys
leer at my breasts and butt
uninvited partiers
I threaten them with a burkah
and leave to get new music

I’m followed by
a woman from India
gracious and friendly
she’s impressed my music choice
was produced in Mumbai

[two dream tanka on one dream]

March 10, 2009

she picks up a large
black and white furry snake
a smaller honey-hued one
left in the mud as she shuts
the woven basket lid

after our swamp hike
I share an irony
the snake lifts it’s head
speaking from the open basket
humans are as nuts as we

March 11, 2009

the long-haired pirate
galumphs his handsome way down
the length of his ship
the first to make himself known
of two men said to be mine

[dream tanka; Image: The Emperor (IV) in The Tarot of the Pirates]

March 12, 2009

I stuff my garbage
disguised to look just like theirs
among their full cans
I do not want to be caught
and fly off through the cool night

[dream tanka]

March 13, 2009

my long-deceased friend
completes her application
for employment
she’s apparently faking
a thirteen year reference

a chalk white full page the black fine print

[dream tanka and monoku on one dream]

March 14, 2009


he leaves before
finishing my haircut
my loud complaints

another man says
to count all electric* outlets
I can’t and wouldn’t

alone with spiky hair
and a physical challenge
large echoing store

[dreamku series on one dream]

*I was not aware of the “electric Saturn/Uranus” astrological aspect yesterday until after writing this this morning. We Capricorns may have been even more effected than many as Saturn is our sun sign’s ruler. Unfortunately, I did have a late night electric-like encounter (read: argument).

March 15, 2009

[see horese head illustration at top of post]

they find a good mate
for the rare sleek black stallion
as she’s still too young
he courts her carefully
teaching her mating posture

a film clip close-up
reveals she’s not a true horse
but a leggy feline
the auburn fur on her large
horse-like frame shiny and soft

she enters heat early
the aroused stallion paces
the narrator speaks
of the hope for offspring
to save this stallions’s blood-line

[three dream tanka on one dream]

March 17, 2009

best he close his eyes
while she makes love to him
for the sight of her
would not be beautiful
and much too close to real

[dream tanka]

March 18, 2009


they’re to be married
in a huge amphitheater
filling steadily
with a massive crowd of folk
there for different events

I’m squashed as I inch
along to my seat in the
star-lit arena
determined not to attend
a live event again

the madding crowd
how can nuptials be squeezed
into this disorder

[two dream tanka & one dreamku on one dream]

March 19, 2009


carton after carton
arrives at the empty store
several young folk
receive and unpack them all
in a flurry of hard work

I’m impressed with how fast
they’ve set up this airy space
a young guy smiles
his confidence denying
that they just moved in today

a small dark woman
shows me into a large room
sparsely filled with racks
of designer used clothing
in colorful matched sets

matched pants rarely get
much wear, she sagely comments
has she read my mind
as I look for practical
plain black slacks on the racks

I amble into
a carpeted room, empty
but for my father
I slip into his arms
for our agreed upon dance

take care with my knee
I whisper as we adjust
our holds on each other
what to not to buy or buy
forgotten in this embrace

[six dream tanka on one dream]

March 20, 2009

the small dark woman
doesn’t have enough pictures
to make her boxes
an unseen chorus chimes in
“Just look underneath your chair!”

[dream tanka]

March 21, 2009


I sweep up the dirt
from the small closet carpet
his critical glance

why not cover it
with a bright patterned cloth
his question-demand

she buys pink and white
party decorations
her reaction

I'm not invited
to this denial party
her boy runs to me

[dreamku series on one dream]

March 22, 2009


her sudden weight loss
is amazing and looks great
lavender bikini

my envy fades
I search for my own bathing suit
and wander off
small garden hills before me
lie open to exploring

a grit-filled wind starts
I breathe through a loose shirt sleeve
dropping to all fours
I shut my eyes and crawl
fumbling my way toward home

[one dreamku & two dream tanka on one dream]

March 23, 2009

it’s the softest dream
of all from this busy night
fading as I wake
I clutch at its warm edges
like a blanket for the day

there was a young man
in my now thread bare dream
the day’s images hook
on memory but only
frustrating echos land

[two dream tanka on one dream; I had this dream on March 21, the day before what would have been Matthew's 40th birthday (he was a boy I raised who could not have been more my son if I'd birthed him myself, who was killed as a 15 year-old); I'd been feeling a sadness for a couple days that I could not quite trace and now remembering his birthday I understand. I love and miss you, Matthew, and am grateful as always for your brief life.]

March 24, 2009

the large frying pan’s
labels slide to one side
more room for my butt

March 25, 2009


he misleads her
into thinking she's wanted
new show rehearsal

he won't look at her
her irritation trumps
her embarrassment

windowless room
she stands up for herself
no dent made

March 26, 2009

the difficult child
wants just to visit his grave
only comfort left

March 27, 2009


did he lock his door
when he left me sleeping in
for a little bit
I fear it’s not he returning
when I hear a door shut

a strange man enters
the room where I lie frozen
fear realized
he gives no explanation
and attempts to mash me

my angry assertion
“I’m taken!”
he lets go

a couple women
arrive for a gathering
my absent lover
arranged many days ago
then proceeded to forget

[three dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]

March 28, 2009

she’s proud to be sought
by the cops for the theft
my sexy new friend

March 29, 2009


the odd little man
dressed like a wooden soldier
asks the oracle
the same question one more time
and gets the same answer

another presence
and I sway “no” slowly
back and forth
and the strange little man
holds me to stop my motion

“That’s nauseating”
he says “but I hear the ‘no’”
does he know he’s funny

[two dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]

March 30, 2009

the tiny plane he’s
cobbled together will fly
I hang it up

March 31, 2009

he dives deep into
the pool trying to drown himself
reflex takes over
his aching lungs force him up
but he tangles in a rope trap

set to prevent
just such an escape the rope
squeezes like a snake
his head barely breaking
the churning water’s surface

can or can’t he breathe
I can’t quite see through the night
shrouding the pool

[two dream tanka & a dreamku on one dream]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****

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At 9:06 PM , Blogger LGD said...

So much of this month's dreaming seems to revolve around the 'sweetie/non-sweetie'

I'm not getting these daily in my RSS reader. I can't imagine why not. I used to not get Joy Smith's, and now it's arriving daily. My reader seems to take turns interfering with my friends' blogs.

I had not heard before about you raising a son. I'm sorry to hear that you lost him so soon in life.


At 1:41 PM , Blogger Roswila said...

Hi oino!

Yes, I'm not surprised my DAILY DREAMKU don't show up in your RSS reader. The way I do the post it is not technically a new post each day, but an edit of the previous day's. I haven't wanted to keep posting all that other stuff I have below the DAILY DREAMKU at the same time. Guess it's time to bite the bullet and do the work to separate them into two distinct posts, making the DAILY DREAMKU a new post each day, and just edit the date on all that other intro stuff daily.

For sure, that "sweetie/non-sweetie" issue has been prevalent. We've had a few exceptionally good days and both of us are almost holding our breaths ... :-)

Yes, Matthew was very special in my life back then and has remained so. I don't usually forget his birthday but this year I did have some other intense emotional stuff clouding things up. I always think of him as the harbinger of spring, given his birthdate.

At 5:54 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think in the interests of fairness , Sweetie should be given an opportunity to respond and/or retaliate.

I believe there are laws requiring both parties to be given an opportunity to share their point of view and I am requesting that Sweetie be given equal space on this blog. :)

At 6:53 PM , Blogger Roswila said...

Hi "Anonymous"

Let this answering post of mine serve as an invitation to "sweetie" to make any comments here he feels are necessary and/or required to honor the equal time law. Although neither of us is campaigning for office (at least as far as I know :-D), I would not want to be perceived as unfairly representing his "side" of our relationship ... not even in my dreams.

Seriously, I would love to hear of any thoughts or questions "sweetie" may have on any of my 'ku or introductions. Please pass the word along. ;-)



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