Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Thursday, November 04, 2010


A very hard month over all, but there’s been good stuff, too. My dear friend’s health crisis seems to have resolved. He’s back in our retirement community and my biggest worry now is how to slow him down so he can stay recovered.

This may seem odd, but I miss the old style depressions of my youth. They were “steady state,” down for two or three month’s duration, then they were over for a steady period of time. As opposed to this new style of depression (Atypical Depression, as it might be called from the googling I've done) in which my mood fluctuates with no warning from the depths to almost normal, then goes under again, then back up – sometimes several times in a week. It’s hard to live like an erratic roller coaster.

But not to end on that note, life is still good here. I have a lot to be grateful for.


[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]

October 1, 2010


on our shared room’s wall
the complete list of each chore
he finished last night

“Look,” I say to her
isn’t it delightful to know
what he does each night?”

I point out the puns
that liven up today’s list
my enthusiasm
bumps up against her
dismissive demeanor

[two dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 10-1-10. LOL! Puts me in mind of the fairytale The Elves and the Shoemaker. Image by Roswila]

October 2, 2010


in the living room a purple pony herd

the young dark-haired girl
circles through the shag rug
a lively tag game
with her favorite pony
keeps her happily busy

[a monoku and tanka on a dream of 10-1-10. Image by Roswila]

October 3, 2010


the Haitian woman
softly interrupts me as
I walk with my friend
“The dead know you can hear
and they want to talk to you,

... but you will have to
formally invite them to
speak to you again”
she’s gone before I have time
to think much less respond

do I need or want
to be entangled again
interpreting webs
of personal views on life
by those no longer living

the deceased’s message shelved the beautiful day

[three tanka and a monoku on a dream of 10-2-10. Image by Roswila]

October 4, 2010


Arnold Schwarzenegger
divvies up the typing work
word processing pool

I’m only to mail
the words to “Willow Weep for Me”
I notice errors
of some sort on each copy
and prepare to re-type them

flute music flows,
played by a fellow typist
I listen closely
with much joy and wish others
would pay more attention, too

the flautist’s dark instrument willow wood

[a dreamku, two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 10-3-10. Image by Roswila]

October 5, 2010


three folk and I drive
in small car to a wedding
I’m a bit surprised
to have been asked along on
this ride and to the wedding

in her rush the young
woman driver goes off a cliff
each of us scrambles
to open our window before
we hit the dark lake below

I’m very aware
one woman in the back seat
didn’t get her window
open before we started
sinking deep into the lake

three of us struggle
our ways to the surface
our breaths holding
barely long enough for us
to keep from blacking out

I try to follow the
driver back down to rescue
the woman still trapped
the current is too strong
and sweeps me away down stream

the flow finally
dumps me in a shallow lake
filled with costumed folk
standing in the waist deep
water as they party on

all are fantasy
fans of some sort, “StarWars”
comes dismissively
to my mind and from my mouth
as I slog among them

then I recall my
own years of Star Trekking
attending conventions
I realize we all seek
ways to safely enjoy life

[tanka series on a dream of 10-4-10. By the way, I was – and still am – a huge Star Trek fan. In the 1970's even attending conventions and entering costume contests. Image by Roswila]

October 6, 2010

even the broken
help hold up the sky
the telamon* heals

[old dreamku on an old dream of 4-21-06. No dream recall from last night but my mood is rather hopeful this morning, so that's why I chose this old one to post. And here are the comments I made to it when I first posted it in April of 2006: "*Telamon: a male support column figure in architecture. I did not know this when I had the dream but I did know about caryatids -- female supporting columns -- and was aware in the dream of the resemblance to caryatids. The dream was also a very Four of Swords scene in the Rider/Waite/Smith Tarot deck:

The telamon was lying in or on a coffin-like stone/concrete box, his arms extended above his head, and he was broken in some way -- a Four of Swords meaning is "healing." Stacked above him, upright, were three more telamons, their arms also above their heads, making the broken one the foundation -- a quality of the number four -- of the support."
First image above by Roswila]

October 7, 2010

she stands transparent
in front of herself
living filter

[old dreamku on an old dream of 8-29-06. I laughed out loud when I read this old one this morning. It's exactly what I've been becoming more and more aware of. That is, as Anais Nin said "We don't see things as they are, we see things as we are." Image by Roswila]

October 8, 2010


she takes their dancing
or at least the heart of it
into sleep with her
images bend amazingly
through brilliant gumby-like dreams

[tanka on 10-7-10 night of dreams. Image by Roswila]

October 9, 2010


“Hurt me or haunt me
desert me or taunt me I’m
yours til I die
so in love with you am I”
sung throughout her sleep

no man to attach
these lyrics to so it must
be some other
addiction springing from that
ancient yearning to be known

[two tanka on a dream of 10-8-10. Both the title and the lyrics are from a song from “Kiss Me Kate,” called “So In Love.” I actually enjoy singing this song – to myself, I haven’t yet had the guts to sing it in front of others. The pitch ranges from rather low on up. I can handle the range if I make sure to pitch that first low note low enough that the highs later aren’t those couple of notes I can no longer reach. Image by Roswila]

October 10, 2010


Part I

down the thousand wood
steps to rescue the large herd
of dark nano-horses
how will I ever climb back
up from this empty beach

Part II

I had saved one
of my would-be rescuers
in times long past, now
they both seem more concerned
with how good they are being

the one I’d rescued
seems to realize this
she offers me a name
“Irindicir,” she says,
as help and proof of help

[three tanka on what may have been one dream of 10-09-10. That name Irindicir was accented on the second syllable; the first three “i”s were short and the fourth said like a long “e”; and “dicir” was said like the Spanish word “decir” which means to speak. Image by Roswila]

October 11, 2010

he nick-names me
Ponderosa Pat
I wake up laughing

[old dreamku on an old dream of 10-16-06. Image by Roswila]

October 12, 2010

mickey mouse ears
cut from construction paper
two complete sets
I put on a pair to show a friend
they’re more like blue hearts

[an old tanka on an old dream dream of 2-6-10. Image by Roswila]

October 13, 2010


the birds steal back
the bread slices we’ve taken
and plastered up
in the dream I draft a tanka
about this back and forth

we stick fuchsia bread
vertically on a door
it’s quickly announced
that the slices are sliding
as the door begins to thaw

[two old tanka on an old dream of 4-7-09. Image by Roswila, a favorite corner of the retirement residence I live in]

October 14, 2010


he stands before me
supposedly answering
my question at length
his teaching goes on and on
not addressing what I’d asked

still I write down notes
maybe this will prove to hold
value later on
if only he’d not mumble
or drop his voice so often

she’s at my elbow
anxious to get my attention
her own agenda clear
I should ask him her question
so that she doesn’t have to

Charybdis and Scylla -- well not quite

[three tanka and a monoku on a dream of 10-13-10. That capping monoku is meant to be wryly funny, which is how the dream’s end felt. Image by Roswila]

October 15, 2010

not mine but my fault
the underwater dog barks
changing history

[dreamku on a dream of 10-14-10. Image by Roswila]

October 16, 2010


Part I

this fat and sassy
baby’s left to my care
my old friend’s daughter

she’s extremely bright
and responds well to me
we each choose the part
of the newspaper we’ll read
mine being the funnies

Part II

the infant’s outside
wandering an intersection
he’s grown rapidly
so that he now looks to be
a handsome fifteen years old

I guide him back
to the safety of his home
this over-grown babe

he curls against me
the worrisome question
I’d kept to myself
whispered by him in my ear:
“Will I die as quickly, too?”

[dreamku and tanka on a dream of 10-15-10. I wrote this in two parts so that maybe that switch in the infant's sex will be a little less disruptive to the dream’s narrative. As dreams do, the baby was just suddenly a different sex for no apparent reason. Image by Roswila]

October 17, 2010

I'm in a big rush this morning, so no time to write dreamku on last night's dreams. I can say the most memorable had to do with Ganesh's "vehicle," a rat. All Hindu gods have their unique vehicles, ways of being carried around. Humblesness is often said to be represented in Ganesh's being a rat (along with other positive qualities). But given this is my dream, a rat is loaded symbolism. Image by Roswila

October 18, 2010


through the windows of
his house I see floating objects
he’s separating
completely from earth and all
who’d denounced his beliefs

at one time I had
been a believer along
with other seekers our
imaginations finding homes
in his way-out theories

his anti-gravity
escape’s a sad proof of sorts
but I find comfort
in the earth beneath my feet
as I peer at his absence

[tanka series of a dream of 10-17-10. I’ve had some recent experiences that have indicated how much my esoteric belief system has changed in the past couple of decades. I find myself looking back with a fondness for those earlier times and the camaraderie they generated. Even missing it all a bit. But, as in the dream, I find the solid ground (both literally and metaphorically speaking) that I stand on now much more supportive and comforting. I just “saw” the Two of Pentacles in the Rider/Waite/Smith Tarot:

I think this is what has happened for me: a dynamic balancing of the imaginative and the concrete. Photo Image at top of post by Roswila]

October 19, 2010


we tell my good friend
that the wolf-like human male’s
being closely watched
he’ll be no danger as we
make camp outdoors for the night

then the wolfman’s claws
pierce most of my left side
ghostly help appears
I manage to wiggle free
quickly and painlessly

the wolfman’s silver
claws immediately grip
my throat’s left side
somehow I know I’ll slip free
with none of my veins pierced

[tanka series on a dream of 10-18-10. Image by Roswila]

October 20, 2010

Lots of dreams but not enough recall to support even one three liner on any of them. The above photo has been literal for the past few days (foggy, rainy, and even some thunderstorms) and is still deeply metaphorical for me even as I see a sunny day starting outside my window. A dear friend who's health troubles I've referenced here recently is in the hospital. I'm not getting into fear and panic, but I am tremendously worried and sad. During our frequent chats on the phone, however, there are bright spots -- as in the above picture -- when our shared sense of the ridiculous takes us both over and we laugh. Image by Roswila, the pool area on the grounds of the retirement community my friend and I live in.

October 21, 2010

he keeps intruding
on the dream, this man with hands
full of valuable things for me
his gifts regretfully lost
to the night as I wake up

[tanka on a dream of 10-20-10. Image by Roswila]

October 22, 2010

he keeps appearing
throughout the nights many dreams
the man from last night

he engages me
from the left on each entry
meaningful input
that fades when, just as before,
I wake in pain to change sides

[a dreamku and a tanka on pieces of dreams of 10-21-10. I’ll have to trust that whatever is going on is happening at the level that it needs to. I’ve always known very little of who we are plays out across the stage of consciousness. But since doing so much reading into neurobiology recently, I’m all the more aware that to be so attached to this little pinpoint of mind that we call consciousness denies the galaxies that we each truly are. Image by Roswila]

October 23, 2010

Abraham Lincoln
consulted Tarot sometimes
I’m very surprised

his own handwriting
reproduced in white lights up
a shiny wood plaque
his plain words about Tarot,
humorous and positive

[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 10-22-10. Image by Roswila]

October 24, 2010

we’ve not talked in years
this difficult friend and I
her cheerful aspect
as she tells others about
my deep knowledge of Ganesh

[tanka on a dream of 10-22-10. Image by Roswila]

October 25, 2010

No dream recall, but I do know it was a busy night! I picked this photo because it sort of represents how I've been feeling for days. I actually like looking out from under those stairs here on the grounds. Depending on the weather and the time of day I take the pictures, and my mood when I crop them, each result can have an entirely different "feel" to it. Image by Roswila.

October 26, 2010

Another night with no dream recall, though again I was aware of a lot of dreaming. This photo is an extreme close-up of one of my favorite blooms this time of year, an obviously rain-laden one. Image by Roswila.

October 27, 2010

a narrow alcove’s
the only space allotted
for my home office
I fit everything in,
stacked but neat and orderly

why do they make mean fun – givens are givens

[a tanka and a monoku on a dream of 10-27-10. Image by Roswila]

October 28, 2010

each front tooth cap
lies crumbled in her curved palm
her naked front teeth
small filed points but at least her
smile isn’t totally empty

[tanka on a dream of 10-27-10. Image by Roswila]

October 29, 2010

the handsome old man
approaches flirtatiously
can I believe him

we wind up standing
in front of each other
in our underwear
I really like what I see
but what does he think of me

[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 10-29-10. Image by Roswila.]

October 30, 2010

a comedian
from Saturday Night Live
too much joking around

I want to connect
poking a finger in his chest
gets his attention

he wants to know why --
"Pun intended," I remark,
"I’m making my point"

[dreamku series on a dream of 10-30-10. Image by Roswila]

October 31, 2010


[the regular Daily Dreamku photo & post follows...]


that long-estranged friend’s
back, getting up in my face
this time, flirtatious
why would she want to join me
on this tedious train ride

trust in her motives
no greater now than ever
I want solitude

[a tanka and dreamku on a dream of 10-30-10. Image by Roswila].

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,

**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****