ALL DREAMKU, TANKA, & PHOTOS POSTED IN JANUARY 2011 by Roswila
So the seasons move on. I wish I were as good at undergoing change. If I had even a nickel for every time I honestly felt I’d let go into a new space only to find out I was still clinging to the old in some way I’d be a wealthy woman.
I don’t have the energy to read over all the dreamku for January. (So, yes, I do recognize what a tremendous amount of reading and viewing is involved, dear brave reader.) But it was one of the single most up one minute and down the next I’ve ever had. Even just within one day.
Here’s one from January 13th, the only one to have a nice, sort of calm distance to it. It’s actually unusually philosophical for my dreams:
STRING THEORY
adding my nano string
to the long birthday series
cell phone transmission
knotted end to end
no elisions, no two gifts the same
a surprising whole
Anyway, may you find this month’s wanderings worth the trip. Maybe a poem or photo will act as a vessel for something of interest in your own life; something new you hadn’t realized or something you needed or wanted to be reminded of. This is how all symbols work for me.
ALL DAILY DREAMKU, DREAM TANKA, AND PHOTOS BY ROSWILA POSTED IN JANUARY 2011
[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]
January 1, 2011
EVERY REASON
she’s every reason
to ponder if my anger’s
her mondegreen*
my words’ meanings are praise-filled
yet I spit them right at her
can both be the truth I know no more than she
[a tanka and a monoku on a dream of 12-31-10. Image: “Can You Hear Me Now?” by Roswila * mondegreen (mis-hearing) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English” I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit. “Mondegreen” is the only word on the list I’d never read before nor ever heard used. So I may not have quite gotten it’s usage correct.]
January 2, 2011
THE MUM & THE CENTAUR
beach house party
I bring a huge yellow mum
for our hostess
the turkey will be
ready by seven thirty
sumptuous* setting
I work to arrange the flower
just right in a clear glass vase
then I can’t find the mum dance music starts
a centaur, Brad Pitt,
has gorgeous muscled haunches
his dance shakes the house
[two dreamku, a tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 1-1-11. Image by Roswila. * sumptuous = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English” I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 3, 2011
TRIPLE PLAY
I
molested again
from behind, always behind
not even he mauls
me face-on and direct --
another thief in the night
II
“I’ve been cheated
been mistreated
when will I find love”*
though I manage harmony
it’s not good enough for them
III
I won’t fit through
the opening to the next floor
the stairway up
vestigial* dream memories
of similar scenes mock me
* from “When Will I Find Love” as sung by Linda Ronstadt.
[three tanka on three separate dreams of 1-2-10. That last dream was vaguely lucid (knowing one is dreaming as one dreams), as I was aware of many similar scenes from dreams in years past as I dreamed. Image by Roswila. * vestigial = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 4, 2011
OUTRAGEOUS
nine hundred eight bucks
and the bill’s not itemized!
labyrinthine* website
I try again and again
but can’t get any response
I need these supplies
but something’s got to be wrong
outrageous total
[a tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-3-10. Well, Happy Birthday to me! :-D I actually don’t think there’s necessarily a connection between this dream and it being my sixty-seventh birthday today. Just wanted to put it out there. Image: “Winter Light” by Roswila. * labyrinthine = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 5, 2011
[Only dream recall from last night was me singing a song from the musical "Showboat," ONLY MAKE BELIEVE. (These lines: Only make believe I love you, only make believe that you love me, others find peace of mind in pretending, couldn't you? couldn't I? couldn't we?) I don't have time to brood* over this right now. But will comment that I can clearly recall my father playing the lead in this show in summerstock when I was a child. However, I'd even forgotten this song was from "Showboat" until I googled for the lyrics. Image by Roswila. * brood = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 6, 2010
CONNECTIONS
highly sensitive
her ear lobes can’t bear touching
his thoughtful patience
success at last
still sensitive but her lobes
can now be touched
a gentle understanding
imbues* their connection
[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-5-11. Image by Roswila. * imbues = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 7, 2010
everything in pairs
toward romance or Noah’s Ark?
ephemeral dreams
[dreamku on dreams of 1-6-10. Image by Roswila.]
January 8, 2010
[Very vague dream recall again. I could probably work up a dreamku on somepart of it, but don't feel up to it. Lots of sadness today (as well as not feeling good physically). I've been wondering, as I have many times before, why it is good feelings and states of mind are ephemeral and the painful, difficult ones tend to stick around longer. Well, at least for me this is true. Recently, though, I've been more appreciative of the sort of sadness I'm feeling today. Which is what I was attempting to capture when I took the photo above some time ago. I guess I'm recognizing what is called in the Japanese aesthetic "wabi sabi." From Wikipedia: "...if an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi.[Wabi-sabi] nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect." Image by Roswila.]
January 9, 2011
[Even vaguer dream recall last night. I do recall a friend of my youth being around; someone I was in a tremendously co-dependent relationship with. When she shows up, she’s almost always a shadow figure. Last night she was part of what I think I can safely assume was an inquiry into what the limits of caring about someone are. This is supported by the song I was singing each time I woke in the night, As Long As He Needs Me, from the musical Oliver. This led me to thinking about the model Christianity offers us in Christ’s self-sacrifice. Yes, there are other ways to relate to it, such as ego-death; the Christian redemption theme; and so on. However, it does offer a model of service to one’s fellow human being of self-sacrifice. Suffice it to say, I’ve been struggling with just what can be required of us – in a practical, day to day way – when we truly care for someone. Am I my brother’s keeper? Is it selfish to not “go down with the ship,” but to recognize and accept when a situation is becoming destructive of one’s self? Even if to stay in it would benefit and/or please the other(s)? I also cannot overlook the horrific shootings and deaths in Arizona yesterday. A congresswoman, a judge, a 9 year old girl, several senior citizens and others. Indeed, here are some of the true risks of service. Image by Roswila.]
January 10, 2011
WOULD BE
he’s just seventeen
tall slim cute and dark-haired
my not yet legal
would be paramour
and all around buddy
Echo’s** afraid our
relationship’s untoward*
he’ll be legal
tomorrow I tell her
but I’m going very slow
I’m older than he
by far, but no more mature
the bottom line
neither of us is ready
for intimacy
[three tanka on a dream of 1-9-11. **Echo is the name of a female character in a T.V. soap opera “One Life to Live” (even that title resonates for me, pun intended). Image by Roswila.
January 11, 2011
FOOD COURT
the homicide cop
from that T.V. show I like
stands right next to me
this small food court pantry
is well-stocked and poorly lit
no denouement here
just repetitious teachings
about calories;
food portions and contents are
reviewed again and again
his hesitant air
allows me room to point out
I know all of this:
it’s in the doing that I
trip up and stay down for the count
[three tankas on a dream of 1-10-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 12, 2011
CROSS REFERENCING
we work with the
new files and filing system
I say that if we
make erasures the thin new
teal blue folders will tear
too many accounts
conflated in each folder
and messy records --
cross referencing might work
but none like my suggestion
I see consequences
they, only what’s directly
at hand to be done
[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-11-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 13, 2011
STRING THEORY
adding my nano string
to the long birthday series
cell phone transmission
knotted end to end
no elisions, no two gifts the same
a surprising whole
[two dreamku on a dream of 1-12-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 14, 2011
[Very vague dream recall. If I were inclined, I could probably ravel various strands into a dreamku but I'm not. Anyway, here's an old photo of mine that I've always sort of liked. One of the things digital cameras do occasionally (at least at my low level of technical knowledge) with certain light and texture, is produce a "water color" effect, as in the above. In this case, this is truly a happy accident. I also happen to really like the color of this flower. It's not exactly true to the actual flower, but again, a happy accident I'm more than content to live with. Image by Roswila.]
January 15, 2011
THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember now!
this building complex exit
is through the window
a friendly young man points out
a handy wooden footstool
on first stepping up
I’m too far from the window
and move it closer
I laugh, saying “When I lived here
this was second nature”
I slide the window open petrichor*
[two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-14-11. Image by Roswila. *petrichor (the smell of earth after rain) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 16, 2011
CORNERED
red yellow and brown
the leftover handful of
M&M candies
he dry humps them facing
into the room’s tight corner
more driven than dulcet* more bitter than thrilled
[a tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-15-11. Image by Roswila. *dulcet = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 17, 2011
WE NEVER
we rehearse our songs
for the country western show
we’re disorganized
but at the end we sound good
our langour* left behind
the final lyrics
sung in twangy harmony
highlight each singer
in turn but skip me over
am I too far away?
“We never, never
did it at all, no never...”
both the last lyrics
and the others’ denial
that anyone was left out
[three tanka on a dream of 1-16-11. Image by Roswila. *langour = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 18, 2011
A BIG WIND
my heart aches for her
memories of my own cry
bearing love* and pain
a wind fills the room
coming from nowhere then
dissipating quickly
it’s been said when a great soul
passes on a big wind rises
[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-17-11. Image by Roswila. *love = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 19, 2011
[Practically no dream recall from last night. The above photo is from early sunset yesterday. Despite the fact that I have neither the skill nor the proper camera/equipment, I still keep trying to capture moon pix. I doubt I'll ever become inured* to it's sight. The photo above is probably one of the better ones I've managed to get. I'm calling it "Making Way for the Moon." I also happen to really like that particular palm. (Something else I keep trying to capture decent pix of through it's seasonal changes.) The photo below is a total experiment. It's the first time I've used some of the editing capacities on one of the photo programs I have on my computer. I'm not really happy with it, but I can see the possibilities for this sort of image manipulation. I sort of like that "parchment paper" effect that over-"exposure" produced. Makes the photo look a wee bit like a Japanese brush painting. Which, of course, sets off all sorts of thoughts about using this effect and coloration for pix I use with haiga (illustrated haiku).
Images by Roswila. *inured = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 20, 2011
RIPPLES
Singing while I walk
"If I were King of the Forest
not Duke, not Prince, not Earl..."
my tail would lash
I would have compash...."** as I
approach to bathe with a group
a man sings along
my two women friends slide in
just as I do
a scintilla* of light
ripples* on the bath water
**"If I Were King of the Forest," from The Wizard of Oz. However, the third line in the first tanka is actually incorrect -- at least all the googling I did indicates it is -- but it is what I sang in the dream, trying to imitate Bert Lahr’s wonderful quavery style in the movie.
[two tanka on a dream of 1-19-11. Image by Roswila. *scintilla and ripple[s] = are the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 21, 2011
THE LAGNIAPPE
Brad Pitt again!
at least this time we’re good friends
the circus tent snaps
in the night wind as he explains
why he has to briefly leave
his detective job
requires he take a button
from a prone man’s chest
I see him bending over
removing it carefully
the button glitters
like a medal – a lagniappe*
from the full moon
[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-19-11. Image by Roswila. *lagniappe (special gift) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 22, 2011
OF REDOLENCE AND REASSURANCE
babies appearing
constantly throughout the night
no lack of infants
nor of talk of them, nor of
redolent* baby lotions
but the first baby’s
the only one to warm my heart
a male friend’s daughter
she’s barely two weeks old
and exceptionally aware
he asks me to watch
over her for a moment
and if I wish to,
lie down and hold this fragile
little gift close against me
her head rests over
my heart stirring it with awe,
punctuated by
surprised concern: she’s trembling
I call out to her father
no answer only his reassuring presence
[four tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-21-11. Image by Roswila. *redolent = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 23, 2011
THE NEW DEMESNE
just one small mistake
but my boss is furious –
demoted and moved
a co-worker shows
me my new work demesne*
it’s in the corner
of another boss’s room
blocking any view of me
maybe I’ll just quit
this arrangement will annoy
the room’s occupant
yet I’ve always liked working
out of the line of sight
[one dreamku and two tanka on a dream of 1-22-11. Image by Roswila. *demesne = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 24, 2011
CALLING
a night of changes
each dream bearing contrasts
and a vague call
new homes, old roommates
new steps, in old directions
where’s a growing edge
[two dreamku on all dreams of 1-23-11. And that last line is exactly what I thought toward the end of the last dream. Which is why I chose this photo for today; those buds are growing into sweet white orchids. As with many orchids we have on our grounds I enjoy the graceful shapes of these buds as much as their ultimate efflorescence*. Hm, maybe that was the underlying point to last night’s dreams: it’s all to be embraced, every step along the way. Image by Roswila. *efflorescence = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 25, 2011
[No clear dream recall for last night. Early in the night’s dreams I kept singing these lyrics (incorrectly) “Santa le gusta, le gusta, le gusta...” Here’s the correct lyrics. Don’t know why I switched “cuanto” to “santa.” I even thought about that in my sleep! Also wondering if “santa” was as in Santa Claus, or as in all the towns around here that start with "Santa" (saint). Image by Roswila.]
January 26, 2011
[Some dream recall, but now no inclination to write dreamku about it. Then I got all caught up in trying to choose a photo for today. None suited; all cried out for re-editing. So I edited several among the many I've taken of the above epithelium blooms. They are so spectacular. They're a cynosure* in our gardens, from bud to bloom. All the photo hounds here can be seen bending over them, not just me for a change. I gave up at this photo from May. I like those striped shadows on the backlit petals and the ferns, but it's still not quite right. Sigh. The same thing's happening with the two new (non-dream based) poems I'm writing. Just can't get them to a point where I feel OK "abandoning" them. I believe it was Paul Valery who said a poem is never finished, just abandoned, and I agree with that. A happy abandon, however. Image by Roswila. *cynosure (focal point of admiration)= is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 27, 2011
PENUMBRAS
her pregnant belly
barely fits out the front door
birth will come early
her women friends
and I stay in the apartment
I am the only one
who said congratulations
and wished her an easy birth
the others gossip
about her mean comment
on another friend
they make no acknowledgment
of the future blessed event
I sit in silence
can I trust even myself
penumbra*
[a dreamku, two tanka, and a dreamku on a dream of 1-26-11. Image by Roswila. *penumbra = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.
January 28, 2011
GETTING A HEAD
a fetching* array
of plant cuttings root in clear
tubes arranged in the air
a fragile imbrication*
both pleasing and puzzling
mesmerized I watch
as a statue head grows from
one of the glass tubes --
though a patchwork of white, blue
and lavender stone it’s alive
no body grows
behind to hold up this head
it floats away with
apparent purpose toward
a dark entrance as I follow
it bobbles lightly
like a balloon through the door
again I follow
it’s colors vaguely light
my cautious curious way
[four tanka on a dream of 1-27-11. This one makes me giggle. It’s both a very silly image and at the same time a very hopeful one. For a very long time I’ve wished for a “new head,” a new way of perceiving the world. I think there’s a slant reference here to Ganesh losing his head and having it replaced with an elephant’s. There’s also Medusa who was beheaded from whose neck then sprang Pegasus, mythical characters I’ve been fascinated with since early childhood. Image by Roswila. *fetching and imbrication = the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.
January 29, 2011
[Plenty of dream recall from last night, but no time to work any of it up in dreamku. I have my volunteer shift in our Corner Store today, and right before that a hot dog party to go to. Can't miss the latter as my personal larder is bare right now. Image by Roswila.
January 30, 2011
SIXTY-SEVEN AND COUNTING
a belated gift
arrives for my birthday
shy delivery boy
I keep asking him,
as I oooh and aaaah over
this bright candy pink
rocking horse for a toddler,
who had it sent to me
it’s clear he does know
who ordered delivery
but he won’t say and leaves
rooted by my door
I check out this surprise gift
my mood ebullient*
a label peels off from it’s
shiny curved and saddled back
to my amazement
two New York city friends’ names
fill the label in
crisp clear printer letters –
my delight is doubled
[two dreamku and three tanka of a dream of 1-29-11. Image by Roswila. *ebullience (ebullient above) and beleaguer[ed] = the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.]
January 31, 2011
INCIPIENT
the new young mother
asks why I’ve not had children
I choose not to say
we go on talking
while her woman friend watches
us rather closely
then I see why: the mother’s
incipient* hysteria
her friend hands her pills
from a deep carry-all
the mother calms down
[two dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-30-11. Image by Roswila. *incipient = the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.]
[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]
January 1, 2011
[The Daily Dreamku appears immediately below]
EVERY REASON
she’s every reason
to ponder if my anger’s
her mondegreen*
my words’ meanings are praise-filled
yet I spit them right at her
can both be the truth I know no more than she
[a tanka and a monoku on a dream of 12-31-10. Image: “Can You Hear Me Now?” by Roswila * mondegreen (mis-hearing) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English” I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit. “Mondegreen” is the only word on the list I’d never read before nor ever heard used. So I may not have quite gotten it’s usage correct.]
January 2, 2011
THE MUM & THE CENTAUR
beach house party
I bring a huge yellow mum
for our hostess
the turkey will be
ready by seven thirty
sumptuous* setting
I work to arrange the flower
just right in a clear glass vase
then I can’t find the mum dance music starts
a centaur, Brad Pitt,
has gorgeous muscled haunches
his dance shakes the house
[two dreamku, a tanka, and a monoku on a dream of 1-1-11. Image by Roswila. * sumptuous = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English” I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 3, 2011
TRIPLE PLAY
I
molested again
from behind, always behind
not even he mauls
me face-on and direct --
another thief in the night
II
“I’ve been cheated
been mistreated
when will I find love”*
though I manage harmony
it’s not good enough for them
III
I won’t fit through
the opening to the next floor
the stairway up
vestigial* dream memories
of similar scenes mock me
* from “When Will I Find Love” as sung by Linda Ronstadt.
[three tanka on three separate dreams of 1-2-10. That last dream was vaguely lucid (knowing one is dreaming as one dreams), as I was aware of many similar scenes from dreams in years past as I dreamed. Image by Roswila. * vestigial = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 4, 2011
OUTRAGEOUS
nine hundred eight bucks
and the bill’s not itemized!
labyrinthine* website
I try again and again
but can’t get any response
I need these supplies
but something’s got to be wrong
outrageous total
[a tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-3-10. Well, Happy Birthday to me! :-D I actually don’t think there’s necessarily a connection between this dream and it being my sixty-seventh birthday today. Just wanted to put it out there. Image: “Winter Light” by Roswila. * labyrinthine = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 5, 2011
[Only dream recall from last night was me singing a song from the musical "Showboat," ONLY MAKE BELIEVE. (These lines: Only make believe I love you, only make believe that you love me, others find peace of mind in pretending, couldn't you? couldn't I? couldn't we?) I don't have time to brood* over this right now. But will comment that I can clearly recall my father playing the lead in this show in summerstock when I was a child. However, I'd even forgotten this song was from "Showboat" until I googled for the lyrics. Image by Roswila. * brood = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 6, 2010
CONNECTIONS
highly sensitive
her ear lobes can’t bear touching
his thoughtful patience
success at last
still sensitive but her lobes
can now be touched
a gentle understanding
imbues* their connection
[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-5-11. Image by Roswila. * imbues = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 7, 2010
everything in pairs
toward romance or Noah’s Ark?
ephemeral dreams
[dreamku on dreams of 1-6-10. Image by Roswila.]
January 8, 2010
[Very vague dream recall again. I could probably work up a dreamku on somepart of it, but don't feel up to it. Lots of sadness today (as well as not feeling good physically). I've been wondering, as I have many times before, why it is good feelings and states of mind are ephemeral and the painful, difficult ones tend to stick around longer. Well, at least for me this is true. Recently, though, I've been more appreciative of the sort of sadness I'm feeling today. Which is what I was attempting to capture when I took the photo above some time ago. I guess I'm recognizing what is called in the Japanese aesthetic "wabi sabi." From Wikipedia: "...if an object or expression can bring about, within us, a sense of serene melancholy and a spiritual longing, then that object could be said to be wabi-sabi.[Wabi-sabi] nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect." Image by Roswila.]
January 9, 2011
[Even vaguer dream recall last night. I do recall a friend of my youth being around; someone I was in a tremendously co-dependent relationship with. When she shows up, she’s almost always a shadow figure. Last night she was part of what I think I can safely assume was an inquiry into what the limits of caring about someone are. This is supported by the song I was singing each time I woke in the night, As Long As He Needs Me, from the musical Oliver. This led me to thinking about the model Christianity offers us in Christ’s self-sacrifice. Yes, there are other ways to relate to it, such as ego-death; the Christian redemption theme; and so on. However, it does offer a model of service to one’s fellow human being of self-sacrifice. Suffice it to say, I’ve been struggling with just what can be required of us – in a practical, day to day way – when we truly care for someone. Am I my brother’s keeper? Is it selfish to not “go down with the ship,” but to recognize and accept when a situation is becoming destructive of one’s self? Even if to stay in it would benefit and/or please the other(s)? I also cannot overlook the horrific shootings and deaths in Arizona yesterday. A congresswoman, a judge, a 9 year old girl, several senior citizens and others. Indeed, here are some of the true risks of service. Image by Roswila.]
January 10, 2011
WOULD BE
he’s just seventeen
tall slim cute and dark-haired
my not yet legal
would be paramour
and all around buddy
Echo’s** afraid our
relationship’s untoward*
he’ll be legal
tomorrow I tell her
but I’m going very slow
I’m older than he
by far, but no more mature
the bottom line
neither of us is ready
for intimacy
[three tanka on a dream of 1-9-11. **Echo is the name of a female character in a T.V. soap opera “One Life to Live” (even that title resonates for me, pun intended). Image by Roswila.
January 11, 2011
FOOD COURT
the homicide cop
from that T.V. show I like
stands right next to me
this small food court pantry
is well-stocked and poorly lit
no denouement here
just repetitious teachings
about calories;
food portions and contents are
reviewed again and again
his hesitant air
allows me room to point out
I know all of this:
it’s in the doing that I
trip up and stay down for the count
[three tankas on a dream of 1-10-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 12, 2011
CROSS REFERENCING
we work with the
new files and filing system
I say that if we
make erasures the thin new
teal blue folders will tear
too many accounts
conflated in each folder
and messy records --
cross referencing might work
but none like my suggestion
I see consequences
they, only what’s directly
at hand to be done
[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-11-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 13, 2011
STRING THEORY
adding my nano string
to the long birthday series
cell phone transmission
knotted end to end
no elisions, no two gifts the same
a surprising whole
[two dreamku on a dream of 1-12-11. Image by Roswila.]
January 14, 2011
[Very vague dream recall. If I were inclined, I could probably ravel various strands into a dreamku but I'm not. Anyway, here's an old photo of mine that I've always sort of liked. One of the things digital cameras do occasionally (at least at my low level of technical knowledge) with certain light and texture, is produce a "water color" effect, as in the above. In this case, this is truly a happy accident. I also happen to really like the color of this flower. It's not exactly true to the actual flower, but again, a happy accident I'm more than content to live with. Image by Roswila.]
January 15, 2011
THROUGH THE WINDOW
I remember now!
this building complex exit
is through the window
a friendly young man points out
a handy wooden footstool
on first stepping up
I’m too far from the window
and move it closer
I laugh, saying “When I lived here
this was second nature”
I slide the window open petrichor*
[two tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-14-11. Image by Roswila. *petrichor (the smell of earth after rain) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 16, 2011
CORNERED
red yellow and brown
the leftover handful of
M&M candies
he dry humps them facing
into the room’s tight corner
more driven than dulcet* more bitter than thrilled
[a tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-15-11. Image by Roswila. *dulcet = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 17, 2011
WE NEVER
we rehearse our songs
for the country western show
we’re disorganized
but at the end we sound good
our langour* left behind
the final lyrics
sung in twangy harmony
highlight each singer
in turn but skip me over
am I too far away?
“We never, never
did it at all, no never...”
both the last lyrics
and the others’ denial
that anyone was left out
[three tanka on a dream of 1-16-11. Image by Roswila. *langour = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 18, 2011
A BIG WIND
my heart aches for her
memories of my own cry
bearing love* and pain
a wind fills the room
coming from nowhere then
dissipating quickly
it’s been said when a great soul
passes on a big wind rises
[a dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-17-11. Image by Roswila. *love = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 19, 2011
[Practically no dream recall from last night. The above photo is from early sunset yesterday. Despite the fact that I have neither the skill nor the proper camera/equipment, I still keep trying to capture moon pix. I doubt I'll ever become inured* to it's sight. The photo above is probably one of the better ones I've managed to get. I'm calling it "Making Way for the Moon." I also happen to really like that particular palm. (Something else I keep trying to capture decent pix of through it's seasonal changes.) The photo below is a total experiment. It's the first time I've used some of the editing capacities on one of the photo programs I have on my computer. I'm not really happy with it, but I can see the possibilities for this sort of image manipulation. I sort of like that "parchment paper" effect that over-"exposure" produced. Makes the photo look a wee bit like a Japanese brush painting. Which, of course, sets off all sorts of thoughts about using this effect and coloration for pix I use with haiga (illustrated haiku).
Images by Roswila. *inured = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 20, 2011
RIPPLES
Singing while I walk
"If I were King of the Forest
not Duke, not Prince, not Earl..."
my tail would lash
I would have compash...."** as I
approach to bathe with a group
a man sings along
my two women friends slide in
just as I do
a scintilla* of light
ripples* on the bath water
**"If I Were King of the Forest," from The Wizard of Oz. However, the third line in the first tanka is actually incorrect -- at least all the googling I did indicates it is -- but it is what I sang in the dream, trying to imitate Bert Lahr’s wonderful quavery style in the movie.
[two tanka on a dream of 1-19-11. Image by Roswila. *scintilla and ripple[s] = are the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 21, 2011
THE LAGNIAPPE
Brad Pitt again!
at least this time we’re good friends
the circus tent snaps
in the night wind as he explains
why he has to briefly leave
his detective job
requires he take a button
from a prone man’s chest
I see him bending over
removing it carefully
the button glitters
like a medal – a lagniappe*
from the full moon
[two tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 1-19-11. Image by Roswila. *lagniappe (special gift) = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 22, 2011
OF REDOLENCE AND REASSURANCE
babies appearing
constantly throughout the night
no lack of infants
nor of talk of them, nor of
redolent* baby lotions
but the first baby’s
the only one to warm my heart
a male friend’s daughter
she’s barely two weeks old
and exceptionally aware
he asks me to watch
over her for a moment
and if I wish to,
lie down and hold this fragile
little gift close against me
her head rests over
my heart stirring it with awe,
punctuated by
surprised concern: she’s trembling
I call out to her father
no answer only his reassuring presence
[four tanka and a monoku on a dream of 1-21-11. Image by Roswila. *redolent = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 23, 2011
THE NEW DEMESNE
just one small mistake
but my boss is furious –
demoted and moved
a co-worker shows
me my new work demesne*
it’s in the corner
of another boss’s room
blocking any view of me
maybe I’ll just quit
this arrangement will annoy
the room’s occupant
yet I’ve always liked working
out of the line of sight
[one dreamku and two tanka on a dream of 1-22-11. Image by Roswila. *demesne = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 24, 2011
CALLING
a night of changes
each dream bearing contrasts
and a vague call
new homes, old roommates
new steps, in old directions
where’s a growing edge
[two dreamku on all dreams of 1-23-11. And that last line is exactly what I thought toward the end of the last dream. Which is why I chose this photo for today; those buds are growing into sweet white orchids. As with many orchids we have on our grounds I enjoy the graceful shapes of these buds as much as their ultimate efflorescence*. Hm, maybe that was the underlying point to last night’s dreams: it’s all to be embraced, every step along the way. Image by Roswila. *efflorescence = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 25, 2011
[No clear dream recall for last night. Early in the night’s dreams I kept singing these lyrics (incorrectly) “Santa le gusta, le gusta, le gusta...” Here’s the correct lyrics. Don’t know why I switched “cuanto” to “santa.” I even thought about that in my sleep! Also wondering if “santa” was as in Santa Claus, or as in all the towns around here that start with "Santa" (saint). Image by Roswila.]
January 26, 2011
[Some dream recall, but now no inclination to write dreamku about it. Then I got all caught up in trying to choose a photo for today. None suited; all cried out for re-editing. So I edited several among the many I've taken of the above epithelium blooms. They are so spectacular. They're a cynosure* in our gardens, from bud to bloom. All the photo hounds here can be seen bending over them, not just me for a change. I gave up at this photo from May. I like those striped shadows on the backlit petals and the ferns, but it's still not quite right. Sigh. The same thing's happening with the two new (non-dream based) poems I'm writing. Just can't get them to a point where I feel OK "abandoning" them. I believe it was Paul Valery who said a poem is never finished, just abandoned, and I agree with that. A happy abandon, however. Image by Roswila. *cynosure (focal point of admiration)= is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language a bit.]
January 27, 2011
PENUMBRAS
her pregnant belly
barely fits out the front door
birth will come early
her women friends
and I stay in the apartment
I am the only one
who said congratulations
and wished her an easy birth
the others gossip
about her mean comment
on another friend
they make no acknowledgment
of the future blessed event
I sit in silence
can I trust even myself
penumbra*
[a dreamku, two tanka, and a dreamku on a dream of 1-26-11. Image by Roswila. *penumbra = is the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.
January 28, 2011
GETTING A HEAD
a fetching* array
of plant cuttings root in clear
tubes arranged in the air
a fragile imbrication*
both pleasing and puzzling
mesmerized I watch
as a statue head grows from
one of the glass tubes --
though a patchwork of white, blue
and lavender stone it’s alive
no body grows
behind to hold up this head
it floats away with
apparent purpose toward
a dark entrance as I follow
it bobbles lightly
like a balloon through the door
again I follow
it’s colors vaguely light
my cautious curious way
[four tanka on a dream of 1-27-11. This one makes me giggle. It’s both a very silly image and at the same time a very hopeful one. For a very long time I’ve wished for a “new head,” a new way of perceiving the world. I think there’s a slant reference here to Ganesh losing his head and having it replaced with an elephant’s. There’s also Medusa who was beheaded from whose neck then sprang Pegasus, mythical characters I’ve been fascinated with since early childhood. Image by Roswila. *fetching and imbrication = the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.
January 29, 2011
[Plenty of dream recall from last night, but no time to work any of it up in dreamku. I have my volunteer shift in our Corner Store today, and right before that a hot dog party to go to. Can't miss the latter as my personal larder is bare right now. Image by Roswila.
January 30, 2011
SIXTY-SEVEN AND COUNTING
a belated gift
arrives for my birthday
shy delivery boy
I keep asking him,
as I oooh and aaaah over
this bright candy pink
rocking horse for a toddler,
who had it sent to me
it’s clear he does know
who ordered delivery
but he won’t say and leaves
rooted by my door
I check out this surprise gift
my mood ebullient*
a label peels off from it’s
shiny curved and saddled back
to my amazement
two New York city friends’ names
fill the label in
crisp clear printer letters –
my delight is doubled
[two dreamku and three tanka of a dream of 1-29-11. Image by Roswila. *ebullience (ebullient above) and beleaguer[ed] = the words I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.]
January 31, 2011
INCIPIENT
the new young mother
asks why I’ve not had children
I choose not to say
we go on talking
while her woman friend watches
us rather closely
then I see why: the mother’s
incipient* hysteria
her friend hands her pills
from a deep carry-all
the mother calms down
[two dreamku and a tanka on a dream of 1-30-11. Image by Roswila. *incipient = the word I chose today from the list in the book by Dr. Robert Beard ”The 100 Most Beautiful Words in English”. (Scroll way down to get to the words.) I'm using a word or two a day from this list just for the fun of it, but also to perk up my language.]
* * * *
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****
posted by Roswila @ 12:30 AM
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