AURA OF THE WILLOW (photomorph) & ALWAYS WAITING FOR GODOT (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

ALWAYS WAITING FOR GODOT*

... so here I am again, waiting for Godot,
and goodness (and even my darkness) knows
it's never been figured out for sure who that long
awaited figure is: though I have to admit I have
always been certain Godot is a man, maybe
because I'm always looking for a special male
to appear (even this late in my life); sometimes
sitting all too tight with a woman friend by
my side, as we sigh and laugh and occasionally
cry over the hopelessness of any male
of our species coming down that long dusty
road toward either of us; but today I wait
alone (as is most often the case) and for once
it's not all that lonely or sad to do so; folk
who pass by wave and some even pause to chat
a bit before moving on past the shade cast
by this beautiful old willow I sit under; but still
like Godot, no special man arriving at last,
to clear up the mystery at the heart
of the plot: will he ever appear?


[non-dream free verse poem written 12-13-17. *In the title "...Waiting for Godot" is a reference to the Samuel Becket play of the same name. Photomorph "Aura of the Willow" (4-3-17 008v2c) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

THE HEART'S CHALLENGE (photomorph) & NO ROOM (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

NO ROOM

and now I pray for another man to come along,
one to put you to sleep; no, no, not that, not
to make an end of you as I do not wish that
and obviously it's not going to happen, but
to help me minimize your intense, complicated
program so that it runs silently and
deep in the background

what I crave is another man I can welcome who
will not only clearly demand but return my attention
and passion, keeping me too busy and focused
on him to fully register much less react to those
surges of pain that surround any thoughts of you

except maybe at nights when this new man
sleeps soundly, his ear against my breast
as if listening for my heart's secrets: will the quiet
thumping of my heart expose this secret to him?
will it whisper of how you visit me still in fully
relaxed moments like these, threatening to pull me
under and away from him? and how at times only
my love for him keeps me moored safely on this
after shore of passion, keeps putting you back to
sleep when I look down at his dear head and stroke
his hot skin: ah, truly, then there could be
no room left for you in my heart,
no room at all


[non-dream free verse poem written 12-15-17. Sigh, now I'm having layered cravings! Before I go on, may I say I'm getting a bit embarrassed about all these men dreams/poems. I've never been that sort of woman. In fact, I've always been too bloody independent for my own good. But the male of the species is what keeps coming up (if you'll pardon that awful, unintended pun) so I don't really have much choice. I won't ever again muffle myself, trying to live in denial, no matter how much I don't like what's actually going on. BTW, with respect to this recent long run of dreams about men? There were several in my dreams last night but I did not have the heart even to make notes toward a poem. And there were also so many other characters I'd have been up an hour or so just to get it all down even in very rough note form. Yeah, I know, excuses, excuses. Truth be told, I've lost heart for all of it right now. Interesting and not surprising that today's poem has "heart" at it's center. I also saw a movie yesterday afternoon that just about knocked all the stuffing out of me, that is very relevant here and too much to go into. I sat there as the credits were running, hoping none of my neighbors saw me wiping away tears. Then I had an encounter with a male of our species that evening ... not a good one. Pushed my heart even further away ... Photomorph "The Heart's Challenge" (4-3-17 019v4) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

AN OFFERING OF REMNANTS (photo) & OH, NO!! (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

OH, NO!!

Oh, no!! no-no-no-NO! Patricia!
You're not now actually considering
being with him are you?

it's certainly understandable after all
the let downs, and being teased
or passed by, to dream of someone
coming to you, but "someone"
is not the same as "anyone..."

have you no good taste left? him?!

OK, he's set a nice table (but could he be
more obsequious?) and now he's laying
out a positively mouth-watering three-
course meal ... but honey bunny, he's
appealing to your deepest and still
threatening addiction: he's stooping
to using food as a weapon
in his slick assault

nuh uh! you have not had him wrong
all along ... squeetie-pie! your waffling
is the measure of your loneliness: hey,
the last layers of what little attractiveness
you may have had are fallen and dried,
or wave weakly in a wintery wind
when someone hurries by ...

it's past time to let the hope for a man
fall away with these last dangling
remnants of the colorful flags that,
unaware, you once displayed against all
sorts of odds and skies

best maybe to leave all the frustration
and doubt to crumble -- along with these few
pitiful bits of evidence of what was --
into that great memory
we call the earth


[free verse poem on a dream of 12-10-17. Yep, another dream about a male of our species (and, of course, other stuff, too). Another actual male in my life, as well as being one I've never dreamed about much less liked. So it was truly distressing to recall this dream. ACK! No way! However, once I began writing about it, it took a surprising turn. I now am wondering (as I do in the poem) if my intense desire for a man is also about my increasing loss of youth and whatever attractiveness I may have had. I.e., an urgent need to take an "end run" around all these losses, if you will, by getting involved with a man. I'm turning 74 this January 4. And it's been hitting me a hell of a lot harder than any other birthday I've had. BTW, I actually had this dream the night before the one posted about yesterday. Since posting yesterday's my mood has further deteriorated. I'd like to believe it's mostly all that junk we're breathing from the wild fire(s). My arthritic joints are also yelling worse than usual. And I have "cabin fever," as I can't get out for my long walks. I may have to nail myself to the floor to keep from slapping on a mask, rolling out my walker, and going to the beach overlook anyway. Oh, grumpus mumpus! So many complaints. When there's so much to be grateful for. Photomorph "An Offering of Remnants" 12-2-17 002v2a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

ALL THINGS UNRAVEL (photo) & THE SEAMSTRESS (dream narrative) by Roswila

THE SEAMSTRESS

she finds a temporary job as a seamstress,
in which she sews costumes for several men;
her work proves to be good enough that she's
hired for the position on a permanent basis

this gives her the confidence to relax into
her work and therefore do subsequent projects
a lot faster, which is immediately awarded
with a small raise

then one of those men she'd made
a costume for when still a temporary
seamstress, calls her over to him where
he stands on the floor of the large
communal company sewing room

this Terry Bradshaw* look-a-like praises
her sewing, holding up the black skirt
of his costume, admiring her careful
hand-stitching

she demurs that if it had not been just
a costume and instead been dressy or daily
life clothes, her stitches would have been
smaller and even more evenly spaced,
that some folk have said that her best
work appears almost to be machine sewn

he smiles, leaning rather seductively into
her, replying that he does believe that this
would have been so, while he suggestively
runs a large forefinger along her stitch work
on the waistband of the costume skirt
as he holds it up before them

his body's now pressed up against hers,
just about head to toe along her right side

she's getting as turned on as he seems
to be, but doesn't like being pinned here by
his large body, between his bed
and the door frame

but then again, why does she feel so
ambivalent about the way this clearly mutual
attraction is being gently pressed upon her,
by a man who respects her skill
and careful work,
and wants her old body?


[narrative on a dream of 12-11-17. Yep, another man dream. *Terry Bradshaw was on the T.V. show that I watched before going to bed that night: Better Late Than Never. That show title certainly speaks to me. :-) But Bradshaw is not someone I've ever thought about, one way or the other. Though of the five men on that show, I can say he'd be the only one I might be drawn to. Sewing is a very interesting symbol, many leveled. Given that I have actually hand-sewn (and been told it looked like machine stitching) a great deal in the past (no patience for it anymore) it becomes even more intriguing. I'd say sewing here mostly represents my creativity. I.e., bringing two different planes/things together in a new way? That I sewed costumes for several men is also intriguing. Clothes of any kind often represent our personas (the various masks we wear to navigate our lives). The color black in my dreams often means something new is brewing, Those two different planes that got sewed together may be producing a new way of viewing men? At the very least, of dealing with their various masks? This dream will keep me busy exploring it for some time, I think. BTW, this is not the dream mentioned in the comments to my last post. I'm still holding that one. Honestly, however, the mood I'm in today neither of the dream pieces seems OK to post. I.e, neither reflects how miserable I am today, both in body and spirit. The pic of mine I've chosen to post with today's piece is closer to where I'm at. Photo "All Things Unravel" (12-2-17 005v7) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

A STORY TOLD IN ASHES (photomorph) & A HYPNOPOMPIC AFTERNOON NAP DREAM (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

A HYPNOPOMPIC*
AFTERNOON NAP DREAM

your voice -- and it was definitely your voice, as clear
and compelling as the blue skies here usually are,
though not now, not with smoke from a huge wildfire
muffling them -- saying softly and sadly, while lying
alone in a shadowy place "Where are you, Patricia?"
of course, I instantly know I've just had a wish fulfillment
dream; not that I wish you sad and alone, but that I want
you to wonder where I am, to call me to you at last,
to seek me out without any hesitation dusted with hints I
cannot read even on the clearest of days; I go about
the rest of my afternoon, the memory of your dream call
sifting down to me, again and again, like the ash fall
outside my windows, fainter each time as if the effort
to speak out is, in the end, simply too much


[free verse poem based on a dream of 12-10-17. *A hypnopompic dream is a kind I rarely have. It occurs in a flash in the transition state from sleeping into waking and is incredibly realistic. A dream like this that occurs between waking and sleep is called hypnogogic. I've also seen flashes of amazingly intricate geometric, black and white patterns in this state. Though I haven't had either type of this transitional sort of dream in many years (i.e., realistic or geometric pattern). So it was startling (and a bit heartbreaking) to hear his voice so clearly calling to me. However, I also suspect this dream is -- at another level -- about me looking for myself. As I've been feeling very lost for a long time now. BTW, it seems the run of dreams about men isn't slowing as last night I had another one. Will post that tomorrow probably. Photomorph "A Story Told in Ashes" (12-6-17 021v2d) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

THE SUMMONS (photomorph) & DON'T TOUCH THIS WITH A TEN FOOT POLE (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

DON'T TOUCH THIS WITH A TEN FOOT POLE

... don't tell me! not another male
(don't want to give him
the dignity of calling him a man)
who's coming on to me

and, as always, I'm sure it's nothing
more than a tease, an attractive male
throwing this poor old lady a bone
(if you'll pardon that awful
unintended pun)

the subject of his conversation's
(as always and ever) carefully neutral
and if it weren't for what radiates off
this male in almost tangible hot waves
like a full body smile, I'd dismiss
the encounter

sigh .. and also if it weren't for my own
disruptively intense response to him
(I'm so sick of men that even typing
that word galls me) this dream would
not have had any more impact than
a draft brushing my shoulders as I
turn over in bed and go right
back to sleep

but, damnation, I'm too caught up
in the tangle of the artfully bland
with the hotly burning energy
that he puts out like two different
commands being spoken at once:
stay distant ... come here ...
stay distant ... come here ...

long experience, though, teaches me
which to listen to and act upon,
for if I take the heated, all too
enticing one for real,
more the fool I

this old lady knows all too well how
a male's invitation turns to a rain
of ashes should she take courage
in hand and reach through his wary
hoard of distance


[free verse poem on a dream of 12-7-17. Sadly for me, there's also probably some projection going on in this dream. The double message may very well be what the men I find attractive get from me. So, the title not only advises me re: men's message, but reflects my resistance to even acknowledging the possibility that I may give the same one. Photomorph "The Summons" (12-6-17 011v2a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.