Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

SEE ALSO: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (photos, realistic to abstract)

Saturday, October 20, 2018

ON THE OTHER SIDE (photo) & DON'T GIVE UP (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila


DON'T GIVE UP

don't give up on me
I'm closer to whole with you
than with anyone, ever

even when my crazed self gives way
under the inner pressures I live with and explodes
around us, even then, I'm closer with you to what
I sense to be whole, than with anyone else

don't give up on me, stay with me as I sift through
the shards of my broken self that litter the ground
around us, some may be gems (it could happen!)
or it least wishing stones ... you know, ones
with holes in them, through which
the new may some day emerge?

don't give up on me,
wholeness may be just the other
side of these dark holes long ago
blown through my soul

[non-dream free verse poem written 10-3-18 (during recent blog break). BTW, a few days after writing this poem I recalled that "wishing stones" (or rocks) were actually said to be those with a ring that goes completely around them, not a hole through them. Ah well, I'm going to STET the mis-remember in this poem, as it's what leads to the poem's final image and point. Photo "On the Other Side" (8-17-18 018v2e) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Friday, October 19, 2018

WRITHING TOWARD THE LIGHT (photomorph) & THIS IMAGE (pair of dream tanka) by Roswila


THIS IMAGE

this image both haunts
and encourages her, as well
as making her laugh:
that power from her fingertips,
this time, blasting invading worms

all that repellant
grossness, readily turned to dust:
would that what deeply
disgusts her about herself
were disposed of as simply


[two tanka on a dream in early October 2018 during blog break, but written yesterday. Not my first dream with power radiating from my hands. If I remember correctly, many years ago I dispersed a terrible storm using power radiating from my palms. LOL! Talk about wish fulfillment dreams! Photomorph "Writhing Toward the Light" (9-28-18 004v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Thursday, October 18, 2018

TAKING AIM (photo) & THE SNIPER (dream based) by Roswila


THE SNIPER

her black military fatigues, helmet, and weapons
are arranged as neatly as a pin on her slim body,
as if nothing particularly momentous had just
happened, but, as always, her red lipstick's smeared
and almost worn off completely from licking her
lips in a hot mix of concentration and anticipation

but, also as always, her intense ability to focus has paid
off: another of those many men she's sworn to revenge
herself upon for their various molestations and assaults
upon her over the years, is dead -- doornail dead, lying
spread out like any other oily puddle in this midnight
hidden gas station: her sniping from the shadowy
woods surrounding had been accurate and clean,
right between his small, piggy eyes

ah, yes, don't forget (she reminds herself) to raid the
vending machine for the treat she always gives herself
after a kill: a chocolate bolo* to snack on as she
slips away, back into the inky dark

she bends gracefully to retrieve tonight's sweet treat
from the vending machine trough, and the plan for her
next sniping kill fills her mind's eye, smooth as melted
chocolate that's just starting to harden
into a recognizable shape


[narrative on a dream of 10-1-18 (early in my recent break from blog posting). *bolo = Be On the Look-Out: a notice issued to look for a major suspect in a case, i.e., a murder investigation; it's also a knife used in the army. I did not recall the significance of "bolo" until I Googled for it when drafting this piece. I've actually been a bit hesitant to share this one, given its intensity. But I think the very intensity of the dream is why the writing itself may be better than a lot of mine for quite some time. (At least I'm more content with the writing.) There was also a predictive level to this dream -- only in a metaphorical sense, of course. I have another dream/poem on the back burner about this same topic, subtitled a #Me,Too dream" which I'll post soon. And, yes, I do have a rather heavy history of having been sexually abused/assaulted by men, from the time I was 6 years old well into my young adulthood. Photo "Taking Aim" (9-28-18 005v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

DANCE FOR SPRING (photo) & THE EMERALD FEATHER (free verse dream poem) by Roswila


THE EMERALD FEATHER

we sit at a well-shaded card table at the fair,
she to my left, as I put my new smudge feather
down in front of me; it's a brilliant, bright green,
immediately capturing her attention; I'm quite
curious as to what she thinks of it as she's
American Indian, but also a bit concerned
she'll see me as just another white person stealing
from a native tradition; two other American Indian
women I'd seen earlier, sit across the table from us
and start asking about my emerald feather; I tell
them how fond I am of it, that it was given to me
as a replacement for one that had been stolen,
that the poached one had also been a gift,
but multi-colored, and decorated at it's raw-hide
handle with beads, adding quickly that I much prefer
this new one's simplicity along with the little punning
connection to my own heritage in it's shiny Kelly
green color; as I finish burbling to these two young
native women, I see that my green feather's gone from
the table top ... sigh... nicked again! somehow I know
to softly but firmly tell the first woman, who's still
sitting next to me, to hand it back and she does,
reaching into her beautifully beaded leather bag
for it without any hesitation or embarrassment
whatsoever; interesting, isn't it, that I was the one
who was concerned with being seen as a thief: yeah,
I suppose thievery's sometimes relative, especially
when defined by where one is sitting and with whom


[written on a dream of 10-11-18 (during my recent blog break). Photo "Dance for Spring" 4-13-18 018v3) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Monday, October 15, 2018

HOW THE LAYERS GOT THAT WAY (photomorph) & WHAT ABOUT YOU? (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila


WHAT ABOUT YOU?

you firmly assert that when one digs down
to the bottom of anything, it's a simple matter
of this or that:
black.
or.
white.
I see foundations quite differently ... and forget
about shades of grey, the colors that open my eyes
vary greatly and often brilliantly, bearing hues
and values and depths well beyond the known
spectrum; I'm even able to conceptualize --
though I admit it takes quite an effort to squeeze
the possibility in among the constant shifting
and slippage between the layers of choice
and the unknown -- that I could be
just.
plain.
wrong.
what about you?


[non-dream free verse poem written 10-9-18. Not sure if my blog break is truly over. Or maybe it's just that I want to post in a more relaxed way ... not feel compelled to post every day (as has been my wont for a very long time). Maybe I'll give a more easy going approach a go. Of course, I now have several poems written during this "break" so will probably be posting every day for a little bit. :-) Then again, maybe not. Photomorph "How the Layers Got That Way" (9-28-18 001v5a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Friday, September 28, 2018

SHADOW ROW (photo) by Roswila


No poem for today, and not for two weeks (give or take). I'm going on a vacation from blogging for a while. I'll still check in here every day, so if you leave a comment I will read and respond as need be. I certainly hope that during this hiatus you will enjoy the vast collection of dreams/poetry, etc. posted here over the years. The archive list is down a bit on the right hand side of this home page (going back as far as 2006).

Nothing catastrophic is urging a blogging break upon me. I'm just tired of wishing I could afford to pay someone to thoroughly clean and re-organize my rooms -- not that I'd actually trust anyone else to do it! :-) So I simply have to take out a good chunk of time and do it all myself. Oh-so-slowly, as I do everything these days (I'm such an old woman) but quite surely. I have no doubt that I'll continue drafting poems, and taking and working on pix as I've done during past blog breaks. But all the time I would otherwise spend on choosing and working on a pic to go with a poem that I edit (for the umpteenth time) even as I put it up here and deal with blog formatting and the inevitable glitches, will be freed for (ACK!) cleaning my rooms.

When I re-read yesterday's dreamku post before keyboarding all of the above, I was struck with the thin thread of continuity between the subject/title of the above brand new photo and that old dreamku: the issue of shadows. I suppose one way to understand shadow work -- in that psychological sense, see comment to yesterday's post -- would be as cleaning and re-organizing. Not so much the unconscious (it is after all by definition unknown) as working on/with one's conscious attitudes and beliefs as reflected in the (almost always disturbing) evidence of our shadows.

Yikes! That's a lot for a simple notice of a blog vacation. In any case, I do hope you will continue visiting and wandering around my old and ancient posts. Just be kind as you read them (as I often say about my photos: What WAS I thinking!). I flinch when I read some now, even a few recent ones have given me pause. LOL!

[Photo "Shadow Row" (9-28-18 029v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018

HUNGRY FOR THE LIGHT (photomorph) & "they put me into..." (dreamku) by Roswila



they put me into
a locked metal box with flowers
the giant gulps it


[dreamku written/posted in February 2007, and ever so slightly tweaked before re-posting today, 9-26-18. I read through a lot of my oldest posted work, looking for something to put up today. BTW, I'm not sure if my dream recall is actually less and less, as I've been complaining here. It may be as much that I've gotten lazy and uninterested in bothering to either scribble notes in the night, or to go over a dream to get it into regular memory before falling back to sleep. Guess it doesn't matter, the upshot is very few new dreams to write about. I have noticed what vague fragments I'm left with on occasion, often have an image of choice between two things, or a doubling or reproducing of an image with slight changes to it. All that said, I chose this ancient dreamku of mine because it puts me in mind of what I've been struggling with for some time now. As Jung is said to have asserted about our shadows: How can you find a lion that's swallowed you? Also, the above Photomorph ("Hungry for the Light" 8-17-18 008v7b) is brand new, just fudged into this shape today. Photo & Dreamku by Roswila]

ABOUT DREAMKU (& PHOTOS):

But first, a request: please let me know of any typos or other sorts of blunders in my posts. As my eyes age I'm finding more mistakes are creeping into what I put up here no matter how many times I proof it all. Thanks for any help!

For more in-depth exploration of the dreamku form, and one post in which I also address my photo choices:

-- very brief comparison of dreamku and haiku: DREAMKU ARE NOT HAIKU

-- a brief post about both dreamku and my photos THE AREN'TS OF DREAMKU & ACCOMPANYING DIGITAL PHOTOS.

-- detailed three-part post about dreamku: "A DREAMKU PRIMER: Writing Haiku-Like Poems About Your Night Dreams": PART ONE: Introduction & Writing Dreamku as Dream Work; PART TWO: Elements of the Haiku Form Used in Dreamku; and PART THREE: How to Write Dreamku (the second and third parts have some overlap).

-- a short up-dating post about the three-part "A DREAMKU PRIMER" -- Important Up-date to A DREAMKU PRIMER....".

* * * *
‘til next time, keep dreaming,







If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog: TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

WIND HORSE (old photo) & ON DUPLICITY (old mixed format dream poem) by Roswila


ON DUPLICITY

it’s almost impossible
to tell which of the two horses
is the original,
both have intelligent eyes
and their chestnut hides glisten

this duplicity
is part of the plan to free
her from her abuser:
this man who helps her dismount
from the beautiful fake

she has to accept
his aid or the jig is up
only her hidden
lover’s voice in her mind
stills her rising panic

yes, her secret man says,
our plan has begun to work
your real horse is free


[three tanka and a dreamku on a dream of 10-25-12 (re-posted today, 9-25-18). Not remembering my dreams much, and even when I have some clue on waking, haven't any interest in making any of them into a post. Yeah (in addition to everything else that was already going on), Seasonal Affective Disorder's got a grip on me now, for sure. First really bad episode I've had since moving to California almost 11 years ago. Used to have an awful time with S.A.D. from September to January when I lived in New York City. But the consistent sunlight here has kept it mostly at bay until this year. In any case, it's always interesting to go through my old posts. I never fail to stumble on something amazingly applicable to the present time. BTW, today's photo is very old, maybe as much as 10 years old. And although the quality of its focus and composition is not all that good, I still react positively to that branch against the sky. It can't be edited much as this is actually the edited and cropped version. Somewhere along the way I lost the unedited original, or I'd start from scratch with it and see what my newer programs and skills could do with it. But of course that's not possible. Yet whenever I stumble across this small, edited version and think to delete it, I decide not to. Photo "Wind Horse" (9-15-18 New Picture(7)b) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Saturday, September 22, 2018

FISH OUT OF WATER (photomorph) & THE STONE GATHERER (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila


THE STONE GATHERER

On first attempt, I do not drown
but float to the surface, my back bent
above the water.

I tell others the stones I now collect
are grave markers.

But my body is the true marker
and its own grave, deserted by all
but the faintest signs of life that twist
upward like stunted flowers
through graveyard dust.

And I continue to collect stones, lining
my seams with pebbles, my pockets with rocks,
my shoes and socks with gravel.

I even swallow small ocean worn stones.

I will not surface
this time.


[non-dream free verse poem written in 1990, revised & posted in 2007, rev. in 2013, & re-posted today, 9-22-18. I suppose there may be a connection between my re-posting this very old poem because it too accurately reflects my mood for some time now and it being my (deceased) father's birthday. Right at the moment I don't see any really meaningful connection. Except that I said to a friend the other day that this month (from mid-September to mid-October) tends to be sad for me as it holds the birthdays of my brother, father, and mother -- all deceased (at 65 years of age, 66, and 34, respectively). Leaving me the only one of my primary family still struggling along (at 75). And if that sounds self-pitying it's because it is. Photomorph "Fish Out of Water" (8-17-18 018v2b) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Friday, September 21, 2018

THE HANGOVER (photo) & "looking through old posts..." (mixed format, non-dream poem) by Roswila


looking through old posts
for a poem to re-post today:
what am I searching for?
isn't that always the question,
and, as always, I've not a clue

I turn toward the brightening window:
the marine layer's* just about burned off

that will have to suffice, I set my fingers
to keyboarding and begin a tanka


[non-dream tanka with two two-liners written 9-21-18. *The mornings at certain times of the year here in south central coastal CA are rather foggy. It's a "marine layer" that ultimately keeps it relatively cooler than other areas around us, while still allowing for a sunny mid-day and afternoon. Photo "The Hangover" (9-12-18 002v2) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

FLOW (photo) & "palm frond shadows..." (non-dream haiku) by Roswila


palm frond shadows
shifting on the pool surface
ungraspable


[non-dream haiku written 9-18-18. This one's sort of odd for me. Obviously, shadows on a pool can't be grasped. But I'm hoping what they made me think of, is also there for a reader. I.e., just like one's thoughts (and so much else about life that we tend to clutch after). But making it more explicit messed it up as a haiku. So I'm going to live with this question about it in order to keep the more haiku-like feel. Photo "Flow" (4-13-18 008v5) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Monday, September 17, 2018

GREETING THE SUN (photomorph) & UNKNOWN (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila


UNKNOWN

will any man ever smile at me again
the way you did that day? as if I were
an unexpected rising of the sun after
an endless night, and, surprising me
even more: what could such radiance on
your usually artfully neutral face mean; well,
I haven't a clue, not then, not now, and being
so bereft of any knowing, I've simply held
the memory of your brief break out smile
as one more of life's many mysteries,
even as I yearn for the solace
in these times when shadows run
a repetitive show,
of standing in the glow
of that smile again,
transfixed by its ephemeral flash
of the unknown


[non-dream free verse poem written 9-16-18. There may be a connection between it being my deceased brother's birthday today and this poem. Although the poem is overtly about someone else actually in my life now, my brother did have a rare sort of smile on occasion. Like this one in a photo of him as a child. Yes, a very posed picture, but that look in his eyes is genuine:



Photomorph at top of this post: "Greeting the Sun" (8-17-18 008v6a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Sunday, September 16, 2018

DAYS OF FUTURE PAST (photomorph) & LONG BEFORE (dream narrative) by Roswila


LONG BEFORE

he informs me (rather too casually) that
my woman friend of all those years ago
had been a very good, thoroughly trained
and licensed massage therapist; hell, he
must know (being as close to me as he is
and reading all my poetry as he does) how
this suddenly revealed fact from the past
would be a shock, and even more so, hurt
my feelings; no, not that his telling me hurts,
but that she never did, that she kept such a
central aspect of herself a secret only
from me, and this, long before her dementia
tugged her away from us all; and I sigh (so
many sighs in this late end of life, almost
a new breathing pattern: sharp, deep,
quick), she must have been voluntarily
keeping a distance between us, all along,
well before her failing memory was even
a blip on the horizon; and now I begin to
mourn not only the loss of her friendship
but my understanding of what that friendship
had been: the shallows far greater than
the depths I'd thought we shared ... how
can a dying illusion be as painful
as an actual death


[narrative on a dream of 9-8-18.
The following comments are an example of how a dream of mine is sometimes only the preamble, if you will, to something I need to think about and/or do: Of course, after working on this dream I added silently to myself "It's all illusion, anyway, isn't it?" And taken in the Buddhist perspective, it is. However, to embrace this is not to be pain free, but (if I understand correctly) not to suffer over it. What's that expression? "Pain is inevitable, suffering isn't"? So I suppose the hitch is to feel the pain and let it evolve, let it become something else, just as everything in life ultimately does. I've been acutely aware recently of how close the past of decades ago seems to be in memory. When I think, say, of something that happened 40 years ago, I wonder how it can not only still be so strong, but still have such an effect on me. The struggle becomes, more and more, to let passing time pry me loose from relating to memories as absolute and prescriptive. It's more than past time to do so. And today is already slipping away into memory ... Photomorph "Days of Future Past" (8-17-18 008v8) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.

Saturday, September 15, 2018

BORN INTO THE SKY (photo) & THE SONOGRAM (non-dream tanka) by Roswila


THE SONOGRAM

shadows pulse on the page
of notes for a nascent haiku
like a sonogram ...
why try to know it beforehand,
it'll be born in its own time


[non-dream tanka written 9-15-18. Photo "Born Into the Sky" (9-15-18 009v2) by Roswila; this is of only one section of a mural I pass sometimes on my long walks. If I felt safe getting out into the street I could get better shots. But I don't, so I stick to the grass at curbside. That's enough in itself to deal with for this mobility challenged old lady. I hasten to add, though, that I had a great time working to get the shots I took. To see another pic I snapped of a different section of the same mural, click here.

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *
until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post)
; TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.