ESCAPING ON THE WIND (photomorph) & HER STORY (free verse dream poem) by Roswila

HER STORY

best I tell this story, this tale of night-time
betrayal (yes, it’s still betrayal even if one
always knew it would happen) in my
“she” voice, it puts some space between
the memory and the telling, space in
which the “I” voice can catch its breath…

ok, here goes: he’s got her and got her
all too good in his grip, she’s going to be
raped, no matter she keeps on struggling,
managing with each new hold he gets on
her, to slip away a few inches, only to
find herself closer to being violated …

then she vividly recalls seeing a
documentary on an ancient Hawaiian
martial art, called “Empty Bowl,”
disguised, back in the days when it
was developed, as dance moves

she instantly places herself in one
defensive position she clearly recalls
that involves using one’s head, but
her determined rapist recognizes
what she’s doing and laughs out loud,
remarking in words he spits out one
by one like bullets that she’d be
embarrassed, nay, ashamed, if she
could see how stupid she looks
in that position

but how she looks never was the
issue (the sad truism being rape’s
always about power … power
over) and now that his laser-like
focus on invading her body has been
briefly broken she’s able to make
a lightning fast get away:

freed ultimately by his gargantuan
need to belittle


[free verse poem on a dream of 1-18-20. Like far too many women, I’ve not escaped many different levels of sexual abuse by men (from childhood on; by family members, friends, total strangers). Even so, one might say this dream’s use of rape to represent an interaction I have with this actual male in my life, is going too far. But I think the opposite is actually true. My dream world used a scary, intense image to force me to pay attention to a situation that’s unhealthy for me, about which I’ve been largely in denial. A situation that could only have survived as long as it has because of my sexual abuse history: at some level that I tend to hide from myself, I still relate automatically as a victim and am readily, therefore, spotted by victimizers. I hasten to add, this is all complicated by my desire to take responsibility for my life and feelings, not to take the easy way out and blame others. Photomorph “Escaping on the Wind” (3-7-19 2-21-19[25]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant or contrasting aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.