DARK SUN (photomorph) & THE WALL (very old dream) by Roswila

THE WALL
(an extremely old dream
recently recalled)

Dad and Grandma take me to visit
my Godmother, a semi-cloistered
nun, my mother’s best friend of many
years past, whom I’ve never met; I sense
they do this to support me during this
loose-ends time after my Mama’s death,
but all I feel is that light nausea I only
learned to label anxiety decades later; we
approach a long pale brick wall about 10
feet high, along a sidewalk that has a single
small square window and no doors; as we
near the window I imagine the other side
filled with a greening spring garden
through which my Godmother and other
nuns meditatively pace, and I wonder if she
will come to the little window, slide it open
as quietly and reverently as she wanders
the garden and speak to me; and then I am
alone on the sidewalk looking first in one
direction along the wall and then the other
for my father and grandmother, and the
little window, all of which have vanished,
leaving me yearning to know, if indeed,
there is anything at all on the other
side of this long pale wall

[As to the break I was on from blogging, I still pretty much am. Just wanted to post this: a very old dream that is biographical in its details, but for the vanishings and (maybe) the wall. I can’t recall actually talking with my Godmother. I do clearly remember the car trip to see her, and a “window” through which we were to talk, not to mention the vague nausea. I was 10 at the time, which is interesting given the height of the wall in the dream was 10 feet. The recall of this dream/memory surfaced during a T.V. show I was watching two nights ago, in which there were several nuns in traditional, “penguin” habits. I can’t with any certainty pin down when I had the dream, but there’s something about the feeling as I sat with it and let it surface that makes me suspect it would have been somewhere in my late twenties to mid-thirties. An extremely troubled time in my life. Only matched by these past few months. BTW, yes, the other side of this wall can be read as symbolizing death. But I also relate to it as the very real, recurrent yearning I have during deeply troubled times, for a spiritual faith. A faith from which I have always ultimately felt walled-off. (BTW, just for this record I remember having been told that my Godmother's name before becoming a nun was Anne.) Photomorph “Dark Sun” (7-11-09 3700ev2) by Roswila]

In a totally unrelated vein: Have fun! It’s APRIL FOOL’S DAY! (I received a delightful video spoof sent out to the haiku community by some of its bright lights.)

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.