HAIKU SERIES -- Response to One Single Impression Prompt of 3/15/09
A DAY'S JOURNEY
one cheek in shadow
the other sun-burnt
the path underfoot
* * * * * * * *
hot plastic pen
bright white paper
a heart beats
* * * * * * * *
in...out...in...out the waves roll saying good-bye to him
[a monoku]
* * * * * * * *
low tide
seaweed garlands on dry sand
gratitude remains
* * * * * * * *
beyond the power lines
backed by clear blue sky
fire-scarred foothills
* * * * * * * *
a blushing hand
dangles in the sunset
last maple leaf
* * * * * * * *
one cheek in shadow
the other sun-burnt
the path underfoot
* * * * * * * *
hot plastic pen
bright white paper
a heart beats
* * * * * * * *
in...out...in...out the waves roll saying good-bye to him
[a monoku]
* * * * * * * *
low tide
seaweed garlands on dry sand
gratitude remains
* * * * * * * *
beyond the power lines
backed by clear blue sky
fire-scarred foothills
* * * * * * * *
a blushing hand
dangles in the sunset
last maple leaf
* * * * * * * *
The prompt this week at ONE SINGLE IMPRESSION is “farewells.” It put me in mind of the above series that I wrote on March 8th over a several hour period. You might journey over to ONE SINGLE IMPRESSION and see what delights others have posted in response to this prompt. I also just noticed I missed ONE SINGLE IMPRESSION'S first anniversary on March 1: Congratulations to all!
I took the above digital photo at the place and on the same day I wrote most of the above haiku. It’s six blocks from where I live in Goleta, California, and is one of my favorite places to sit and draft poems.
* * * *
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****
Labels: haiku, haiku series, monoku
posted by Roswila @ 2:33 PM
24 Comments:
I loved all of these. Your words are so descriptive and evocative. You've perfectly captured this wonderful prompt!
Hugs, G
Thanks, Geraldine. That was fast. I literally just posted. :-)
I'm going over to check out your prompt response now....
This was deep..from the heart..
Really liked these lines-
"low tide
seaweed garlands on dry sand
gratitude remains". Nice-
Thanks, Kilauea Poetry. The one you included in your comment may be the one I prefer of the batch. Though I like that last one, I've begun to think it may be a bit unintentionally spooky. What does anyone else think?
These were all so well done...but I especially loved the first and last ones. The first one brought a summer's day so clearly to me, and the second one brought a vivid image of a crisp fall leaf...wonderful!
Glad you enjoyed your visit, Fledgling Poet. Yes, it's strange how here in sunny California we have what are essentially fall leaves just as spring is starting. I guess they're still hanging around after the fall/winter, given how mild it is here. This, of course, can make for confusing kigo use in haiku unless it's clear where the writer lives. :-)
The monoku touched me deeply. The steady movement of the line brings peace with it.
I'm so glad you say that, Sandy. That was my experience. And that it comes across in the 'ku is an extra gift from that moment. :-)
I'm glad no one will ask me to pick a favorite among these. What lovely images, shining moments!
Gratitudes, Deborah. You do my aching heart good. This break-up stuff is not for sissies, is it?
I recognize the beach. Your words spin a fine continuity of farewells. Nice work.
Lovely view, isn't it, tumblewords? I stand at that railing and gaze out over the sea. I particularly love watching the tiny lizards that live there under those bushes skitter around. And listening to the various birds .... not to mention the surf sounds and fresh sea air ....
I loved them all.
Dear Roswila--
There is indeed a sadness to your poetry this week, and from your note on Geraldine's blog, can see why.
Keep breathing, feeling, moving and dreaming...this too shall pass.
"a blushing hand
dangles in the sunset
last maple leaf"
As I traveled through your farewells, I love the ending most of all ...
Glad you enjoyed the journey, Amias. And the ending one most of all because I'd become a bit uncertain about the image maybe being a bit spooky. :-)
Hi Beth P.,
I appreciate your support. What is making it even harder is I'm not certain I want to break-up; my intent changes sometimes a couple of times daily. Right now, I'm in suspension and hope he can tolerate that as I still enjoy being with him, even in a "friends only" capacity ... at least for now.
Hi foudwindshaiga,
Many thanks. I'd not even seen the common thread between them all until reading OSI's prompt for this week.
i particularly like this one
a blushing hand
dangles in the sunset
last maple leaf
its so evocative
It's good to get this feedback, totomai. As I say in a couple of my comments above, I'd been concerned about this one. What's really nice about this maple leaf one for me is that a dear friend happily brought my attention to that leaf. So I'll always have that memory beneath the 'ku. :-)
How wonderful you write. Saying goodbye is hard if you love that person. Well done my friend.
I appreciate your positive comment and your support. Yes, it's hard to say good-bye and I'm not sure at this point if I am. He's being patient as we spend time together as "just friends."
What a nice set of haiku. I liked them all, but the monoku was especially good
Glad you like them, blue toque. The monoku was actually the first I set pen to that day. :-)
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