HAIKU in Response to One Deep Breath Prompt of 11-04-07
The prompt this week at One Deep Breath is loneliness. These are some of haiku I wrote on the train to and from Saranac Lake in upstate New York, where I visited a retirement residence I'm interested in for myself.
wild fall leaves empty golf carts on the green
* * * *
no trespass sign
the wind pesters
flame leafed trees
* * * *
lowering clouds
held up by scraps of blue
distant mountains
* * * *
a fiery tree
alone in the greensward
one man leaves the train
* * * *
And here's one that addresses loneliness in it's more enjoyable aspect (at least that's what I projected on to that seagull!):
outpaced by the train
a seagull skimming
the placid lake
* * * *
no trespass sign
the wind pesters
flame leafed trees
* * * *
lowering clouds
held up by scraps of blue
distant mountains
* * * *
a fiery tree
alone in the greensward
one man leaves the train
* * * *
And here's one that addresses loneliness in it's more enjoyable aspect (at least that's what I projected on to that seagull!):
outpaced by the train
a seagull skimming
the placid lake
* * * *
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
Roswila
[aka: Patricia Kelly]
****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.
Labels: haiku, One Deep Breath
posted by Roswila @ 10:03 AM
26 Comments:
these are all wonderfully picturesque!
very atmospheric series...
i felt like i was on the train with you...very descriptive, sad & yet beautiful.
best wishes to you in your journey so monumental.
I love the last, so evocative!
i love the way this is so in touch with nature... something i have a real difficulty feeling a kinship with even tho i live surrounded by her splendor.....
This series of Haiku is truly lovely.
A retirement residence...
Those places always feel so lonely.
ok..after reading yours...I am hesitant to post mine in....these are great!
the first two are my favourites
Oh, krissie, please don't let anyone else's work make you hesitate to share yours! Let it inspire and encourage you. We need each person's unique vision.
Hi spacedlaw,
Thanks for visiting. And as to retirement residences ... my experience after visting two very different ones is that they do vary in how they offer community to their residents. (In my case, I tend to be a hermit, so that is not as important as it might be for someone more socially inclined.) In fact, the same issue exists in any community (elderly or not), I believe. I.e., what is available for community activity and how might one avail one's self of it. I.e., is someone -- as often is the case with the elderly -- handicapped in some way. And both residences I visited clearly address the issue of any support needed.
Both residences I visited, by the way, offered a great deal of community activity, but had a very different feel to them. One was more fluid (and more my cup of tea) and the other more cohesive and organzied.
Oh, by the way, the residences I visited are for folk capable of "independent living," so they are more able to seek and participate in social activities. As opposed to folk in assisted living or nursing homes, where loneliness might become a bit more of an issue to be consciously and consistently addressed by staff.
LOL! Lecture over.
Hi paisley,
The last few hours of that train ride are along a lake. I was agog, my soul fed by the sights. That part of New York State is so gorgeous that it is one of the considerations in choosing that New York residence, over and above one in gorgeous Santa Barbara, California, can you believe it?
Roswila,
These are all wonderful. I love the last one. It is hard for me to get comfortable with the thought of another's discomfort, even in poetry. I felt a pang in my heart reading everyone's entries. Thanks for sharing all of them.
barone
I love the last one especially considering my love of trains and water images.
Hi barone,
What's that expression? Sorrow shared is sorrow halved? I think the same can be said for lonely feelings. But when joy is shared it's doubled, IMHO.
Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts.
What good descriptions of your travels! Poetic snapshots.
All so nice - travel would seem to be a group project, but no...each is alone - even the charming bird afloat
...
I felt loneliness in these. So well expressed. The scraps of blue really got me and the lone person leaving the train....
Gorgeous. The one about mountains made me homesick for a moment.
I really like all of these. The first one was brilliant.
The haiku with the man, the train, and the tree is beutiful - expressive of the autumn when things die, when cycles in relationships become lonely. Well done.
My favorite is the wind pestering the tree...
LOL, cloudscome, I laughed (silently, or others on the train would have thought I was losing it) when I saw those trees and the sign.
What a lovely way to travel. I always believed train trips spur the imagination. Excellent poetry.
Wonderfully visual, with a fantastic depth of feeling. Really nice!
:)
beautiful
the wind pestering the trees...quite nice!
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