BUTTRESS (photomorph) & FEAR OF FALLING (non-dream free verse poem) by Roswila

FEAR OF FALLING

With that way you had
of making orders out of requests
you were embarrassed to make,
you told me to stand behind you
on your first attempt
to use a walker
so I could catch you if you fell

You, my best friend and roommate,
a beautiful, strong young woman
unstopped by your ancient
fear of falling
or the newer advent
of cancer spread from your breast
to your spine

And that was where I stood,
behind your halting life
as you took each successive step
toward dying, my hands outstretched
to catch you, to cushion the fall

At night you would call out for me,
terrified you would fall endlessly
into the well of pain: of body,
of spirit, that tortured your dreams
and shadowed your waking
to the end

And I would be there behind you,
backing whatever stand you took:
combative, tender,
or crackling with dark
and wildly liberating humor

At the end you called to my heart
from the coma
you never came out of,
to stand behind you
one more time, as you prepared
to take that last step into death

It is I now who fear the nightly
fall through the bottom
of my own life, afraid to meet
what waits for me, alone
but for a ghostly flutter
of hands against my back


[non-dream, free verse poem written in February of 1994, and slightly revised over the years, as recently as today (7-1-18). This is about my dear friend Brenda, who shows up here in many a poem. So that it was a surprise to find after a lengthy search, that I've not posted this one before. Photomorph "Buttress" (2-08a-14 10026ev2c) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.