CLUTCHING AFTER THE WIND (photo) & WHAT MAKES YOU THINK (dream influenced poem) by Roswila

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

what a nightmare!
yet despite racketing heart
and shaking limbs, she still
only wants to go back
to sleep, to turn her back
on the massive demands
of the waking world:
even as she thinks this,
an all too familiar voice
rises from the far reaches
of her mind commenting wryly:
"And what makes you think
you've ever been
fully awake?"


[free verse poem resulting from an experience on waking from a nightmare of 4-29-18. I rarely have what I call nightmares. Though many people call a lot of the dreams I write about here nightmares. I.e., this "nightmare" was not one by my definition: a dream so bad I go lucid and wake myself up deliberately to get away from it. But it was very intense and would have met anyone else's definition, I'm sure. I only call it a nightmare here to simplify matters as it is not truly the focus of this poem and the experience on which it's based. I.e., a rather Zen influenced bit of thinking. Waking up is hard to do. I can remember the first time I realized that I had never been fully awake, back in my twenties (I'm 74 now). Stunned me to stopping short, in the middle of a sidewalk. (This was well before I'd had any exposure to Buddhist thought.) And I made the mistake of thinking that meant I was then awake. Since then I have consistently come in an out of feeling more or less awake. Hm, you'd think then, wouldn't yah, that I'd willfully wake myself up from this waking "nightmare" of my life. BWL (big wry laugh). And maybe that's the point: the gift suffering offers is awakening. Wish I could have written that into the poem. But I only came to it on writing these comments. And it is in the poem, if only by vague implication. Photo "Clutching After the Wind" (2-7-10 19448v3) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.