SPITTING MAD (photomorph) & WHAT IS LEFT (tanka dream series) by Roswila

WHAT IS LEFT

the meeting's hard enough
to endure, but why does he keep
spitting on the top
of my head? not to mention no one else
cares he's disrupting this big meeting

yikes! another man
standing near by, staring angrily
at me? what the fuck?
no peace, no respect, even in this
community meeting space?

I suppose some men
have no pride, maybe even no way
of keeping their shit
to themselves, much less of addressing
me in private, where it should be aired

what is left for me
to do? sequester myself completely,
like a prisoner
in solitary confinement? maybe that's it:
cold brick walls can't spit or stare


[tanka series on a dream of 5-9-18. Found some wide ranging possibilities for the meaning of spitting in dreams, e.g., here. Searching for staring symbolism also resulted in many different ways of understanding it. Relating to dreams and to the Tarot are often very similar and this is one of those ways: I have to let my intuition point me to what means the most in a sea of possible meanings. Here in this dream/poem, I stick with my gut sense that both acts indicate anger, layered over/hiding a lot of denial of theirs that is just that: theirs to deal with. My struggle is to develop a thicker skin so I don't need to isolate to protect myself from what they project. I'd be tempted to believe that this dream might also indicate how I could be projecting some unacknowledged anger of my own on to them. However, that thought holds no resonance and feels more as if I'm trying to be the "good little child of an alcoholic" I was trained to be. I.e., taking responsibility for everyone else's shit. (And to be a bit afraid of their crap and what they might do in the name of it.) BTW, the use of the word shit reminds me: my apologies to anyone offended by such language. Recently it's been feeling dishonest and (in line with today's dream poem) angering to use less impactful words, when words like "shit" and "fuck" are what feel appropriate and right on. Photomorph "Spitting Mad" (7-28-09 4458v7a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.