OCEANIC EMBRACE (photomorph) & LEARNING TO EXHALE (dream narrative) by Roswila

LEARNING TO EXHALE

up and down, up and down the long flight
of stairs that creak annoyingly as I hobble

why can't I find, much less choose the right
black shoulder bag I need, I know one's here

I make one last climb back up and select two
bags, deciding to choose between them later

as I reach the first floor landing my choice
seems obvious: the purse I'd given to Brenda*

after all, I gave her a whole lot more than just
a black purse: my loving care as she died

(even though she never asked me to, and once
said she'd never have done the same for me)

the purse problem solved, another leaps right
in to take its place: I miss the last bus home

my choice of bag slung across my shoulder,
I walk in my usual slow way to my apartment

as I start to wrestle my arthritic knees up the
three front steps, Brenda hurries down them

she rushes by me without even a nod of hello,
her gaggle of friends following right behind her

all carry boxes and suitcases, which is worrisome:
what are they taking and where are they going?

(sigh, how can someone long deceased still be
so pretty, and not only that, now be a blonde!)

"Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting
to hear back from you!" I yell, but am stonewalled

an ever so slight smile in the corner of her lip-
glossed mouth betrays she even hears me at all

I exhale, and let the anger go, I can see she's moving
out and that will make all of this worth while


[narrative on a dream of 9-21-17. *As I've mentioned here before, I took care of a friend (Brenda) as she died of cancer, in the apartment we'd shared for years. And, yes, she never overtly asked me to care for her, and she did once say (shortly before her death) she'd not have cared for me the same way. This is one of those jam packed dreams that ultimately leaves me feeling a bit freer of the conflicts and hurts of the past. While showing me that I'm starting to reclaim myself in some way(s). This dream was a clear precursor to what I read just yesterday about one of the emotional inputs into Carpal & Cubital Tunnel Syndrome (which I've only this week realized I have): "Anger at life's seeming injustices." My symbolic repetitive motion injury? Holding tight to the past, especially my hurts and angers. Photomorph "Oceanic Embrace" (10-13-10 10015v5a) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

* * * *

until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.