ALL DAILY DREAMKU, DREAM TANKA AND PHOTOS BY ROSWILA POSTED IN OCTOBER 2009
... And another very hard month, but now at least I feel it’s all headed somewhere. I’m managing to effectively decompress my life (i.e. taking on fewer projects over all) and I’m finally disengaging from the significant other relationship I’ve been in for over a year. (I know, I know :-D you’ve heard this before, so I guess I’ll just have to wait and let time prove it for you, and me.)
Did I just say I’m taking on fewer projects? That’s true. However, I’ve taken on one really big one: producing – from soup to nuts – an anthology of poetry by residents in the senior community I live in. And why? Because I let my enthusiasm run over my memory of how complicated and time consuming it is to do something like this. But seriously, it is a wonderful project and the smiles on fellow residents’ faces when they think of seeing their work in print -- some for the first time -- is heartwarming.
On to dreamku – this one from October 4 talks to my constant struggle these days which is to deal with babyish intense emotions:
she speaks and walks
like a full grown person
big blonde baby
And these two from October 8 (a dream monoku) and October 17 (a dreamku pair) respectively, I like for their soft moods:
shadows dapple the baby elephant waits and watches
* * * * * * * *
TWO TREES
two dark leaved trees
grow bent in the constant wind
circular driveway
echoing curve
the larger tree’s branches
partly shield the smaller
Hope you’re having a lovely fall season and that your Thanksgiving is filled with things to be grateful for.
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
Did I just say I’m taking on fewer projects? That’s true. However, I’ve taken on one really big one: producing – from soup to nuts – an anthology of poetry by residents in the senior community I live in. And why? Because I let my enthusiasm run over my memory of how complicated and time consuming it is to do something like this. But seriously, it is a wonderful project and the smiles on fellow residents’ faces when they think of seeing their work in print -- some for the first time -- is heartwarming.
On to dreamku – this one from October 4 talks to my constant struggle these days which is to deal with babyish intense emotions:
she speaks and walks
like a full grown person
big blonde baby
And these two from October 8 (a dream monoku) and October 17 (a dreamku pair) respectively, I like for their soft moods:
shadows dapple the baby elephant waits and watches
* * * * * * * *
TWO TREES
two dark leaved trees
grow bent in the constant wind
circular driveway
echoing curve
the larger tree’s branches
partly shield the smaller
Hope you’re having a lovely fall season and that your Thanksgiving is filled with things to be grateful for.
ALL DAILY DREAMKU, DREAM TANKA, AND PHOTOS BY ROSWILA POSTED IN OCTOBER 2009
[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]
October 1, 2009
my daughters are dead
it's all I recall of the dream
doubled grief
[dreamku on a dream of 9-30-09. My initial take on this dream fragment is that of my major passions, I’ve been shamefully neglecting two: poetry and especially Tarot (dreams and digital photography are still getting a good amount of attention). It’s been a matter of having to prioritize as my life changes. This is painful and difficult. I’d say what I’m grieving is the freedom to do what I want, when I want. As I did when I first moved here (and did pretty much for years before I left New York city). My primary relationship (yes, it’s on again, but for how long remains to be seen) comes first before almost anything else. But it is not my entire life. I’ve never had to do this sort of intense choosing and balancing before. I find it hard, but hopefully it will continue to be worth it. Image by Roswila]
October 2, 2009
PLAGUED
back from a space trip
I have faith my suit seal held
stripped bare
one of my space boots
starts wiggling on its own
contamination
so I did not
get away scot free
I hit the boot
again and again
I squash the boot, desperate
to kill the worm
the one small worm that could start
an incurable plague
at last I succeed
the worm is dead but I’ve
been exposed
testing room
I await the verdict
on my condition
Barack Obama
happily welcomes me back
to planet Earth
unaware I’ve been exposed --
I yell at him to back off
how could I bear
such a horrible guilt:
to kill our president
[dreamku series including one dream tanka on a dream of 9-30-09. This comment is only partly a joke: I feel plagued by my recurrent PMS. No, not premenstrual syndrome, but pre-moon syndrome. I get more than a bit weird during the waxing gibbous moon phase, which we are in now. I’m also struck with a sense of exaggeration in this dream, i.e. the drama and self-importance of it all. Am I taking these mood swings far more seriously than is necessary? And is that more a problem than the swings themselves? We Alanons (children of alcoholics) have often absorbed the family tendency to self-inflation and addiction to drama. P.S. Since drafting this comment, something has happened in a relationship that confirms my sense of exaggeration. And the other person appears to be acting just as dramatic as I – insert Big Painful Wry Laugh here. Oh, and given that interaction, I see how this dream predicted what was about to happen. No claim though to anything psychic here; my emotions and my knowledge of the other person were certainly information enough to produce the “predictive” dream. Image by Roswila]
October 3, 2009
HIPPIE THROWBACK
musical audition
am I hired only
as the token senior
the young cast is huge –
with another elder on board
I feel even less needed
she stammers as she
introduces herself to me
fellow horse lover
how do we fit in
what do they want from us
hippie throwback show
[dream series on a dream of 9-30-09. Immediate take? I’m outmoded, outdated, can’t keep up, and wonder why I should keep showing up at all for the play. Tired of being condescended to and having it be so obvious that I am all too readily replaceable. Wondering why anyone wants me around to begin with. (Yeah, it was a hard morning and this afternoon isn’t much better.) What’s intriguing is, on a level of reality, I was a hippie and know more about that life than any young person portraying it in a show today. Guess I’m wanting respect for my life experiences. Maybe there’s also some nostalgia for all the hope we had as hippies, and what we understood to be radical thinking and living. And I do love horses, always have. Some yearning here for a friend with similar passions? That stammering? I’m so tired of being aware I intimidate people. I’ve heard this most of my adult life and never been able to do much about it. I also associate it to something in an awful movie I saw the night I had this dream (“The Ruling Class”). The main character was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. When he switched from openly declaring he was God, to acting “normally” but secretly believing he was Jack the Ripper, he developed a stammer. Seeing the fellow horse lover in this dream as also me, what am I repressing or feeling I must repress in order to appear normal? A quick guess: the way I stress out, get really cranky, and ultimately lose my considerable temper (especially under a waxing gibbous moon phase). Or rather I may be repressing the fear that this temper will never allow me the sort(s) of close relationship(s) I really want. Who will stand for me? And maybe an even deeper fear that I really am hopelessly crazy.
Image: "Where's Juliet?" (taken in Solvang, CA) by Roswila]
October 4, 2009
she speaks and walks
like a full grown person
big blonde baby
[dreamku on a dream of 9/30/09; a clear warning -- that I did not hear at the time – to watch out for and attend to some babyish emotions that were going to be troublesome, the biggest part of the trouble? even recognizing those feelings as babyish; Image: "Conception," by Roswila]
October 5, 2009
MOVING TARGET
my camera angle’s
wrong to capture the full moon
moving target
I hurry sideways
but the moon’s faster
empty night sky
[dreamku pair on a dream of 9-29-09; Image by Roswila]
October 6, 2009
BROADWAY
movie or real life
a night time ride down Broadway
well known lights and bill boards
it’s not The Great White Way I miss
but the familiarity
[dream tanka on a dream of 10-05-09; Image by Roswila]
October 7, 2009
IN HIDING
elevated train
barely hiding hostility
she rubs her left foot
blood seeps through her sock
I timorously point out
that she’s injured
her cutting response
did she even understand
my attempt to care
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-5-09; Image by Roswila]
October 8, 2009
shadows dapple the baby elephant waits and watches
[dream monoku posted by me in a comment, May 2009. Chose this old dream/ku because it pretty much echos how I'm feeling, waiting to see how the changes in my life play out with as much calm as possible; Image by Roswila]
October 9, 2009
BARACK MALINGERS
Obama runs from
the Presidency for a day
he entices me
he’s also quite
openly flirting with me
two hugs in a row
how do I feel
about this married man
I switch the focus
down escalator
government staff must be
in a panic, I say
as when JFK’s
helicopter crashed, recall?
only you’re not dead
we continue the brief freedom run rebel friends
[dreamku series topped by a dream monoku on a dream of 10-8-09; Image by Roswila]
October 10, 2009
The Magician card,
The Wheel, and The Hanged Man
lie in a straight row
I say: manifesting change
and then surrendering
[dream tanka on a dream of 10/12/08; previously posted to Roswila's Tarot Gallery & Journal, posting here today as I feel I'm really stuck on that "surrender" part; Image: "The Wheel of Fortune" in my Found Tarot deck, by Roswila]
October 11, 2009
"....and he sips gladly
from her well-worn walking shoe"
country song refrain
[dreamku on a dream of 10-06-09; Image: "Footsies, too," by Roswila]
October 12, 2009
ADAM’S APPLES
over-ripe full-size
apples fill the tiny tree
browning bruised skins
I peel the outer
layer off each yellow apple
golden skin beneath
Adam says I shouldn’t
have cleaned up the apples
they were fine as is
how can that be?
I deny I did all the peeling
and bite into one
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-11-09; Image by Roswila]
October 13, 2009
A CLEAR CONCERN
it takes three attempts
to get her to talk to me
beautiful blonde teen
she’s extremely bright
and attends ballet classes
child of privilege
are her parents
firm enough to guide her
a clear concern
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 14, 2009
ON A ROLL
T.V. bowling
he rolls the small metal ball
toward the screen
it rolls back into
a magnetic cup on the floor
strike!
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 15, 2009
ODD GATHERING
an odd gathering
I’m trying to comb my long hair
at a big dresser
people want to eat
at the dresser like a table
my frustration
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 16, 2009
WISHING
on the carpeted
floor a small dark object
I pick it up
it’s a toy
hinged cats of many shapes and
sizes morph in my palm
I finally fold it
all back up and close my hand
I wish for horses
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-14-09; Image by Roswila, taken in Lompoc, CA, a city known for it's murals]
October 17, 2009
TWO TREES
two dark leaved trees
grow bent in the constant wind
circular driveway
echoing curve
the larger tree’s branches
partly shield the smaller
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 18, 2009
MONSTER ON THE STEPS
the crowd starts up
the steep narrow boat stairs
new level
from above, the warning:
a huge dark sea monster’s
coming down the steps
we all turn around
squeezing back down the stairs
windows line the deck
fearing there’s no time
to get to the deck below
a man and I try
to break window after window
in order to jump ship
the windows won’t break
but simply reverb a bit
wasted effort
he finally knocks a
huge door-size window open
the way out
[dreamku series and a dream tanka on a dream of 10-17-09; Image by Roswila]
October 19, 2009
THE CAVE
he’s much darker
and quite handsome in old photos
sharing memories
the story for one:
he and three others were trapped
in a huge cave-in
he was the only one to
climb out on his own once freed
the others were strapped
each to a strong rescuer
hauled up in pairs
before cave-in photo:
hieroglyphs line the walls
uncracked and unread
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-15-09; Image by Roswila]
October 20, 2009
HOLDING ON
end of the affair
they keep holding on
to each other
any excuse to touch
she points to the crocheted hats
she’s giving away
none can ever know
they were secret lovers
how will she let go
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-18-09; Image by Roswila]
October 21, 2009
UNDER A HARVEST MOON
we all disagree
as to what the story is
Super- or Spider-man
but it’s clear to us a hero
is actually needed
I’m a youthful man
with a young male sidekick
we attempt rescue
the anxious woman
held captive is our friend
we get caught, too
our friend sees us
in her captors’ station wagon
she assumes betrayal
we struggle free
in spite of pregnancies
forced on us by
our captors, and rush to our
dear friend’s rescue at last
I ultimately
decide to keep the embryo
it feels like mine now
a good time to grow Harvest Moon
[dreamku series with two dream tanka and a capping dream monoku, on a dream of 10-14-09; Image: "Jail Break" by Roswila]
October 22, 2009
RETRIEVING
a man is strapped to
a dark leather stretching board
in-house prisoner
friendship bonds
two male cohorts and I free
him from this torture
we all scurry to vamoose absent captors
where are my glasses
I cannot leave without them
our jailors return
my friends have escaped
I retrieve my eyeglasses
but it’s too late
one white-haired captor
says to a youthful buddy
“Sex with her
would be fun for me to watch,
why not have at her right now”
oh so carefully
I succeed in telling them off
intact dignity
[dreamku series with a dream monoku and dream tanka on a dream of 10-21-09; Image by Roswila]
October 23, 2009
MUSIC
he whispers so
he can move in closer
I like him near
his breath tickles my temple music is his offering
[dreamku and monoku on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 24, 2009
THE SEA’S EDGE
she’s infantalized her son fearful mother
her clinging stunts him
he walks with great difficulty
toddler-sized teen
she won’t release him
he limps to the sea’s edge
straining at the bond:
why won’t you let me go circling seagulls
[dreamku pair opened and capped by a dream monoku on a dream of 10-23-09. This is one of those extremely valuable dreams. Although it did not tell me anything new, it did pointedly bring home my struggle with fear and fully "growing up" my masculine aspect (in Jungian terms, the animus). And it brought it home in an extremely graphic way, even pointing me to how much of my physical issues are effected by this "infantalizing" fear. Ah, tell a little lie, just typing that has caused me to wonder for the first time if my own mother weren't equally fearful. This is a new thought and bears some exploration so that I can ultimately deal with our fear. I think it is also true that my mother's early death "bonded" me to her in a life-long way that has not been helpful; a bonding with fear of loss that makes all close relationships difficult for me. Additionally, it has been extremely tempting to interpret this dream as representative of my umpteenth (and I believe final) break-up with my significant other. There is some relevance there, but the true struggle is mine between aspects of myself.] Image by Roswila.
October 25, 2009
LONG DUSTY WALK
long dusty walk to
the center of the city
college night class
afterwards
I seek a ride home
aching feet and heart
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-20-09; Image by Roswila -- and, yes, that's a reflection of me in the picture; first time I'd set myself down for some while, I'd been snapping pictures of the murals in Lompoc, CA; guess my brain got tired, too. :-D]
October 26, 2009
photography shoot
hugely pregnant women circle
what's the best angle
[dreamku on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 27, 2009
HUNGER
he makes love to me
in an open dark alley
who’s observing
I go to stay at
the homeless camp where he lives
coupons for food
does he ignore
or simply not notice me
hunger trumps my hurt
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-20-09; Image by Roswila]
October 28, 2009
GOING SOUTH
“Move to Florida?
That far South!? It’s a mistake.
They’ll die of boredom”
I’m not so sure
maybe they’ll have nice neighbors
and their dog, run space
they disagree Know-It-Alls-United
[two dreamku and a dream monoku on a dream of 9-9-09. At the time of this dream I didn’t have a clue about it, but now I think I have the edge of a pun to grasp, i.e. reading “going south” as heading for failure or getting old LOL! Image by Roswila]
October 29, 2009
BASEMENT DAIRY FARM
the woman owner
is on full-time dialysis
basement dairy farm
a man on part-time
dialysis helps run the farm
he’s the key
another woman
helps him manage the business
her tidy profit
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-28-09. When I worked with this dream it turned out to be massively helpful with a core issue of mine. Won’t go into all the details. Suffice it to say animus, ego, and shadow (in a rare positive “incarnation”) all make their appearance, along with newly emerging positive behavior even as the consequences of old behavior get cleaned up/out, and more. And I’ll add that another dream later this same night also had images referencing the masculine. So it seems animus is truly “key” for me right now. Image: Mural in Art Alley, Lompoc, CA, by Roswila]
October 30, 2009
IN THE HOUSE OF THE MASCULINE
I drum on the steps
hoping to be invited in
conference center
will they take me at all
seriously as a drummer
a handsome young man
sits just inside the doorway
he’s punk glam and dark
this drummer in a
band and I start competing
joy and doubt mingle
I drum above his
flash and dash using reverb
from a hollow step
a male celebrity arrives
followed by his entourage
another male star
modestly helps visitors
why does he work here
[two dream tanka and three dreamku on a dream of 10-28-09; Image by Roswila.
October 31, 2009
meeting the cast
my uncle has played the villain
for fifteen years
[old dreamku on a dream of 5/21/08. Looking for a 'ku I'd not yet posted (haven't had time to write any yet on last night's rather epic dream) I stumbled on this one. At the time I didn't really "get" this little dream, but I think I am ready to hear the message now: it's time to let go of certain aspects of my past, and even more so the consequent blaming of others. Those people have been in the role of villain way too long. :-D Image by Roswila.]
* * * *
[PLEASE NOTE that in most browsers you can click on the image for a larger version.]
October 1, 2009
my daughters are dead
it's all I recall of the dream
doubled grief
[dreamku on a dream of 9-30-09. My initial take on this dream fragment is that of my major passions, I’ve been shamefully neglecting two: poetry and especially Tarot (dreams and digital photography are still getting a good amount of attention). It’s been a matter of having to prioritize as my life changes. This is painful and difficult. I’d say what I’m grieving is the freedom to do what I want, when I want. As I did when I first moved here (and did pretty much for years before I left New York city). My primary relationship (yes, it’s on again, but for how long remains to be seen) comes first before almost anything else. But it is not my entire life. I’ve never had to do this sort of intense choosing and balancing before. I find it hard, but hopefully it will continue to be worth it. Image by Roswila]
October 2, 2009
PLAGUED
back from a space trip
I have faith my suit seal held
stripped bare
one of my space boots
starts wiggling on its own
contamination
so I did not
get away scot free
I hit the boot
again and again
I squash the boot, desperate
to kill the worm
the one small worm that could start
an incurable plague
at last I succeed
the worm is dead but I’ve
been exposed
testing room
I await the verdict
on my condition
Barack Obama
happily welcomes me back
to planet Earth
unaware I’ve been exposed --
I yell at him to back off
how could I bear
such a horrible guilt:
to kill our president
[dreamku series including one dream tanka on a dream of 9-30-09. This comment is only partly a joke: I feel plagued by my recurrent PMS. No, not premenstrual syndrome, but pre-moon syndrome. I get more than a bit weird during the waxing gibbous moon phase, which we are in now. I’m also struck with a sense of exaggeration in this dream, i.e. the drama and self-importance of it all. Am I taking these mood swings far more seriously than is necessary? And is that more a problem than the swings themselves? We Alanons (children of alcoholics) have often absorbed the family tendency to self-inflation and addiction to drama. P.S. Since drafting this comment, something has happened in a relationship that confirms my sense of exaggeration. And the other person appears to be acting just as dramatic as I – insert Big Painful Wry Laugh here. Oh, and given that interaction, I see how this dream predicted what was about to happen. No claim though to anything psychic here; my emotions and my knowledge of the other person were certainly information enough to produce the “predictive” dream. Image by Roswila]
October 3, 2009
HIPPIE THROWBACK
musical audition
am I hired only
as the token senior
the young cast is huge –
with another elder on board
I feel even less needed
she stammers as she
introduces herself to me
fellow horse lover
how do we fit in
what do they want from us
hippie throwback show
[dream series on a dream of 9-30-09. Immediate take? I’m outmoded, outdated, can’t keep up, and wonder why I should keep showing up at all for the play. Tired of being condescended to and having it be so obvious that I am all too readily replaceable. Wondering why anyone wants me around to begin with. (Yeah, it was a hard morning and this afternoon isn’t much better.) What’s intriguing is, on a level of reality, I was a hippie and know more about that life than any young person portraying it in a show today. Guess I’m wanting respect for my life experiences. Maybe there’s also some nostalgia for all the hope we had as hippies, and what we understood to be radical thinking and living. And I do love horses, always have. Some yearning here for a friend with similar passions? That stammering? I’m so tired of being aware I intimidate people. I’ve heard this most of my adult life and never been able to do much about it. I also associate it to something in an awful movie I saw the night I had this dream (“The Ruling Class”). The main character was diagnosed as paranoid schizophrenic. When he switched from openly declaring he was God, to acting “normally” but secretly believing he was Jack the Ripper, he developed a stammer. Seeing the fellow horse lover in this dream as also me, what am I repressing or feeling I must repress in order to appear normal? A quick guess: the way I stress out, get really cranky, and ultimately lose my considerable temper (especially under a waxing gibbous moon phase). Or rather I may be repressing the fear that this temper will never allow me the sort(s) of close relationship(s) I really want. Who will stand for me? And maybe an even deeper fear that I really am hopelessly crazy.
Image: "Where's Juliet?" (taken in Solvang, CA) by Roswila]
October 4, 2009
she speaks and walks
like a full grown person
big blonde baby
[dreamku on a dream of 9/30/09; a clear warning -- that I did not hear at the time – to watch out for and attend to some babyish emotions that were going to be troublesome, the biggest part of the trouble? even recognizing those feelings as babyish; Image: "Conception," by Roswila]
October 5, 2009
MOVING TARGET
my camera angle’s
wrong to capture the full moon
moving target
I hurry sideways
but the moon’s faster
empty night sky
[dreamku pair on a dream of 9-29-09; Image by Roswila]
October 6, 2009
BROADWAY
movie or real life
a night time ride down Broadway
well known lights and bill boards
it’s not The Great White Way I miss
but the familiarity
[dream tanka on a dream of 10-05-09; Image by Roswila]
October 7, 2009
IN HIDING
elevated train
barely hiding hostility
she rubs her left foot
blood seeps through her sock
I timorously point out
that she’s injured
her cutting response
did she even understand
my attempt to care
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-5-09; Image by Roswila]
October 8, 2009
shadows dapple the baby elephant waits and watches
[dream monoku posted by me in a comment, May 2009. Chose this old dream/ku because it pretty much echos how I'm feeling, waiting to see how the changes in my life play out with as much calm as possible; Image by Roswila]
October 9, 2009
BARACK MALINGERS
Obama runs from
the Presidency for a day
he entices me
he’s also quite
openly flirting with me
two hugs in a row
how do I feel
about this married man
I switch the focus
down escalator
government staff must be
in a panic, I say
as when JFK’s
helicopter crashed, recall?
only you’re not dead
we continue the brief freedom run rebel friends
[dreamku series topped by a dream monoku on a dream of 10-8-09; Image by Roswila]
October 10, 2009
The Magician card,
The Wheel, and The Hanged Man
lie in a straight row
I say: manifesting change
and then surrendering
[dream tanka on a dream of 10/12/08; previously posted to Roswila's Tarot Gallery & Journal, posting here today as I feel I'm really stuck on that "surrender" part; Image: "The Wheel of Fortune" in my Found Tarot deck, by Roswila]
October 11, 2009
"....and he sips gladly
from her well-worn walking shoe"
country song refrain
[dreamku on a dream of 10-06-09; Image: "Footsies, too," by Roswila]
October 12, 2009
ADAM’S APPLES
over-ripe full-size
apples fill the tiny tree
browning bruised skins
I peel the outer
layer off each yellow apple
golden skin beneath
Adam says I shouldn’t
have cleaned up the apples
they were fine as is
how can that be?
I deny I did all the peeling
and bite into one
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-11-09; Image by Roswila]
October 13, 2009
A CLEAR CONCERN
it takes three attempts
to get her to talk to me
beautiful blonde teen
she’s extremely bright
and attends ballet classes
child of privilege
are her parents
firm enough to guide her
a clear concern
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 14, 2009
ON A ROLL
T.V. bowling
he rolls the small metal ball
toward the screen
it rolls back into
a magnetic cup on the floor
strike!
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 15, 2009
ODD GATHERING
an odd gathering
I’m trying to comb my long hair
at a big dresser
people want to eat
at the dresser like a table
my frustration
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-12-09; Image by Roswila]
October 16, 2009
WISHING
on the carpeted
floor a small dark object
I pick it up
it’s a toy
hinged cats of many shapes and
sizes morph in my palm
I finally fold it
all back up and close my hand
I wish for horses
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-14-09; Image by Roswila, taken in Lompoc, CA, a city known for it's murals]
October 17, 2009
TWO TREES
two dark leaved trees
grow bent in the constant wind
circular driveway
echoing curve
the larger tree’s branches
partly shield the smaller
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 18, 2009
MONSTER ON THE STEPS
the crowd starts up
the steep narrow boat stairs
new level
from above, the warning:
a huge dark sea monster’s
coming down the steps
we all turn around
squeezing back down the stairs
windows line the deck
fearing there’s no time
to get to the deck below
a man and I try
to break window after window
in order to jump ship
the windows won’t break
but simply reverb a bit
wasted effort
he finally knocks a
huge door-size window open
the way out
[dreamku series and a dream tanka on a dream of 10-17-09; Image by Roswila]
October 19, 2009
THE CAVE
he’s much darker
and quite handsome in old photos
sharing memories
the story for one:
he and three others were trapped
in a huge cave-in
he was the only one to
climb out on his own once freed
the others were strapped
each to a strong rescuer
hauled up in pairs
before cave-in photo:
hieroglyphs line the walls
uncracked and unread
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-15-09; Image by Roswila]
October 20, 2009
HOLDING ON
end of the affair
they keep holding on
to each other
any excuse to touch
she points to the crocheted hats
she’s giving away
none can ever know
they were secret lovers
how will she let go
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-18-09; Image by Roswila]
October 21, 2009
UNDER A HARVEST MOON
we all disagree
as to what the story is
Super- or Spider-man
but it’s clear to us a hero
is actually needed
I’m a youthful man
with a young male sidekick
we attempt rescue
the anxious woman
held captive is our friend
we get caught, too
our friend sees us
in her captors’ station wagon
she assumes betrayal
we struggle free
in spite of pregnancies
forced on us by
our captors, and rush to our
dear friend’s rescue at last
I ultimately
decide to keep the embryo
it feels like mine now
a good time to grow Harvest Moon
[dreamku series with two dream tanka and a capping dream monoku, on a dream of 10-14-09; Image: "Jail Break" by Roswila]
October 22, 2009
RETRIEVING
a man is strapped to
a dark leather stretching board
in-house prisoner
friendship bonds
two male cohorts and I free
him from this torture
we all scurry to vamoose absent captors
where are my glasses
I cannot leave without them
our jailors return
my friends have escaped
I retrieve my eyeglasses
but it’s too late
one white-haired captor
says to a youthful buddy
“Sex with her
would be fun for me to watch,
why not have at her right now”
oh so carefully
I succeed in telling them off
intact dignity
[dreamku series with a dream monoku and dream tanka on a dream of 10-21-09; Image by Roswila]
October 23, 2009
MUSIC
he whispers so
he can move in closer
I like him near
his breath tickles my temple music is his offering
[dreamku and monoku on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 24, 2009
THE SEA’S EDGE
she’s infantalized her son fearful mother
her clinging stunts him
he walks with great difficulty
toddler-sized teen
she won’t release him
he limps to the sea’s edge
straining at the bond:
why won’t you let me go circling seagulls
[dreamku pair opened and capped by a dream monoku on a dream of 10-23-09. This is one of those extremely valuable dreams. Although it did not tell me anything new, it did pointedly bring home my struggle with fear and fully "growing up" my masculine aspect (in Jungian terms, the animus). And it brought it home in an extremely graphic way, even pointing me to how much of my physical issues are effected by this "infantalizing" fear. Ah, tell a little lie, just typing that has caused me to wonder for the first time if my own mother weren't equally fearful. This is a new thought and bears some exploration so that I can ultimately deal with our fear. I think it is also true that my mother's early death "bonded" me to her in a life-long way that has not been helpful; a bonding with fear of loss that makes all close relationships difficult for me. Additionally, it has been extremely tempting to interpret this dream as representative of my umpteenth (and I believe final) break-up with my significant other. There is some relevance there, but the true struggle is mine between aspects of myself.] Image by Roswila.
October 25, 2009
LONG DUSTY WALK
long dusty walk to
the center of the city
college night class
afterwards
I seek a ride home
aching feet and heart
[dreamku pair on a dream of 10-20-09; Image by Roswila -- and, yes, that's a reflection of me in the picture; first time I'd set myself down for some while, I'd been snapping pictures of the murals in Lompoc, CA; guess my brain got tired, too. :-D]
October 26, 2009
photography shoot
hugely pregnant women circle
what's the best angle
[dreamku on a dream of 10-16-09; Image by Roswila]
October 27, 2009
HUNGER
he makes love to me
in an open dark alley
who’s observing
I go to stay at
the homeless camp where he lives
coupons for food
does he ignore
or simply not notice me
hunger trumps my hurt
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-20-09; Image by Roswila]
October 28, 2009
GOING SOUTH
“Move to Florida?
That far South!? It’s a mistake.
They’ll die of boredom”
I’m not so sure
maybe they’ll have nice neighbors
and their dog, run space
they disagree Know-It-Alls-United
[two dreamku and a dream monoku on a dream of 9-9-09. At the time of this dream I didn’t have a clue about it, but now I think I have the edge of a pun to grasp, i.e. reading “going south” as heading for failure or getting old LOL! Image by Roswila]
October 29, 2009
BASEMENT DAIRY FARM
the woman owner
is on full-time dialysis
basement dairy farm
a man on part-time
dialysis helps run the farm
he’s the key
another woman
helps him manage the business
her tidy profit
[dreamku series on a dream of 10-28-09. When I worked with this dream it turned out to be massively helpful with a core issue of mine. Won’t go into all the details. Suffice it to say animus, ego, and shadow (in a rare positive “incarnation”) all make their appearance, along with newly emerging positive behavior even as the consequences of old behavior get cleaned up/out, and more. And I’ll add that another dream later this same night also had images referencing the masculine. So it seems animus is truly “key” for me right now. Image: Mural in Art Alley, Lompoc, CA, by Roswila]
October 30, 2009
IN THE HOUSE OF THE MASCULINE
I drum on the steps
hoping to be invited in
conference center
will they take me at all
seriously as a drummer
a handsome young man
sits just inside the doorway
he’s punk glam and dark
this drummer in a
band and I start competing
joy and doubt mingle
I drum above his
flash and dash using reverb
from a hollow step
a male celebrity arrives
followed by his entourage
another male star
modestly helps visitors
why does he work here
[two dream tanka and three dreamku on a dream of 10-28-09; Image by Roswila.
October 31, 2009
meeting the cast
my uncle has played the villain
for fifteen years
[old dreamku on a dream of 5/21/08. Looking for a 'ku I'd not yet posted (haven't had time to write any yet on last night's rather epic dream) I stumbled on this one. At the time I didn't really "get" this little dream, but I think I am ready to hear the message now: it's time to let go of certain aspects of my past, and even more so the consequent blaming of others. Those people have been in the role of villain way too long. :-D Image by Roswila.]
* * * *
‘til next time, keep dreaming,
**** [aka: Patricia Kelly] **** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs: ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT, and Yahoo DREAMJIN: Group for Dreamku – Haiku-Like Dream Poems ****
posted by Roswila at 9:37 PM
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