HERD MENTALITY (photomorph) & IS IT ANY WONDER (dream) by Roswila

IS IT ANY WONDER

is it any wonder at all, Patricia, that you feel so
out of it all, so crazy, so just plain wrong in
everyone’s eyes (even your own)? after looking
back through the decades of your life, trailing
behind you like children for whom you are
still responsible and who demand what you
cannot, nay, will not ever be able or willing
to give them, don’t you get it? you’re living in
that same cult now you kept wrenching yourself
out of back then, when you were not only stronger
physically but emotionally more resilient; and now,
here you are, an old and rapidly getting older and
more debilitated woman who can no longer fully
escape, either the cult or the desire to belong, to
be part of this (albeit clearly deluded group), no
matter you don’t fit in, not one whit; I mean, what
did you expect when you shared that nearly nude
dance of yours you worked so long and hard on?
kudos?!? honey! get and stay real for once; you
knew your performance would be ignored, even
the head honcho’s command that from now on
he must review for content all artistic works
before they are put before the full “community”
(his word for the sheep he’s brain washed) is no
surprise; ok, ok, keep the satisfaction of having
done the dance, more artfully and openly free of
all encumbrances (and as a result, exposing in
your naked sharing the cult’s mental denseness),
than anything you’ve created in quite some time,
maybe even ever, but that’s all you will get and
you know that’s never been enough and only
exacerbates the loneliness; there’s nothing else
that could possibly ever come to you from a herd
of exceptionally numbed out sheep, whose manic
shepherd is convinced he knows and teaches
everything, but who only parrots the fumes
rising from the fissures in his own mind


[dream of 9-11-19. As I’ve said about other dreams, this puts me in mind of the fairy tale “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” In this case, without any sense that “speaking out” can ever make a difference. It’s probably good (if very depressing) to recognize that I am, once again, in a “cult.” Though I hasten to add, IMHO, most of what we humans call community, has the ear marks to one degree or other of a cult. BTW, I do not speak casually of such matters. I was in two actual cults in my much younger years. The first a political cult I somehow knew to flee even though I’d believed myself to be deeply committed and in which I was quite involved. The second, a psychotherapy one. I did a lot of cult research as I disentangled myself from that one. I think worst of all this, though, is to recognize (as I did on waking this morning) that this “manic shepherd” lives inside me, as well. I also note an association I have to those fumes/fissures at the end to the ancient Oracle at Delphi who sat above a fuming fissure on a three-legged stool and made her predictions. I need to do some more thinking on this particular image/association. Photomorph “Herd Mentality” (Screenshots many 2-7-19[9]) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,





[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.