THERE'S NO MENDING IT (photomorph) & "APPLES & ORANGES" (dream narrative) by Roswila

"APPLES AND ORANGES"

it's been a long time since I've watched a dream
as if it were a movie, this night's eye-opener flick has only
two characters, one of them a middle-aged and surprisingly
slim me, and the other that actress I find annoying because she
hits me as trying way too hard; however, push come to shove,
I'd have to admit it's her open ease with her sexuality that
most disturbs me ... now, as the action starts:

she's trying to get me to put up every one of the poems
she likes on our community bulletin board, being rather more
aggressive than usual as she knows I'm short on submissions,
but what she doesn't comprehend (or maybe just ignores)
is we also only have so much space, and then, there's trying
to balance it all visually: the board needs to look thought out
and each poem given enough room to "breathe," not to
mention that my boss has laid out guidelines with which I
am in complete agreement; the actress is having none of
my tactful explanations and won't let go of her out-sized
demand, won't hear of anything but a "yes" to what
she's so passionately pressuring me to do

this scene feels both strange and all too familiar, as
my intensely observant and intuitive mind searches
quickly for a solution that will keep the peace for I
cannot face what I feel will be coming from her: I'll be
blamed for being "difficult," as I always am when
standing firmly on being correct, on doing what I
perceive to be the right and respectful thing;
the actress keeps yammering on and I sadly decide
that maybe peace is sometimes more important than
standing on one's principles, maybe what appears
messy to me will not only please this irritating actress,
but many others, for my aesthetic sense and need to
respect fellow artists' work has always been rather
poorly understood (or at least undervalued) by other folk
... and, sigh, this is a community bulletin board

and so I tell the actress that I'll find a way to put up
all the poems she's submitted; of course, she's
delighted, saying something indicating that my
reputation for being difficult and thick-headed
is not deserved; however, I'm not at all flattered
to once more have my nose rubbed in how
misperceived I am: I stood firm on what I saw
as right and respectful, while she pushed
for what she desired


[narrative on a dream of 10-19-17. This one just about blew me out of the water. Which is why my notes on it sat on my desk until yesterday. Why such an intense reaction to the dream? It sets out a basic conflict I've been struggling with inside myself that feels irresolvable. One that's had me stymied my entire adult life. And is facing me now, at this end of life (I turn 74 in January) in a way that's just about tearing me apart. The dream's way of resolving its conflict still has me pondering. BTW, I do believe we rather often have very different pressures inside ourselves, with different needs and/or demands. Neither one necessarily the right or best one to attend to, but simply different. Each existing in a different inner world, with different priorities and values. (Democrats and Republicans, anyone?) Yikes! I could go on, especially into Jung's psychological concept of the balancing of the opposites. However, what I feel here isn't a matter of opposites that by definition are part of each other, strung out from each other in their intense polarity, so much as just plain differences that originate from separate "worlds," that have nothing connecting them. Yeah, I do get it. I could just be blind at this point to how they might be connected as the proper symbol to resolve/transcend that conflict hasn't surfaced. And the way I'm feeling, may never arrive. OK, I'll shut up and make this post. :-) Ooops! Just had the thought that the social aspect at the end -- looking to the community as a whole -- might be the symbol. That it's the container/symbol that holds those two separate worlds of the conflict. Hm, need to explore this more. Ironically? I feel at another level that I'm making a hell of a lot more of a rather plain and simple dream than it may warrant. Then again, I've always said that dreams are more like templates, from which we extrapolate what we need to -- another way to say we project on to them. As opposed to them always having an innate meaning we need to suss out. (Just as I morph many of my photos into things far beyond what they present as on my computer screen.) Photomorph "There's No Mending It" (11-2-17 011v4g) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.