DARE SHE BELIEVE? (photo) & CRAZY (dream narrative) by Roswila

CRAZY

my woman friend's large bodied as I am,
but young and dark-haired -- we squeeze into
her compact car, and although I'm not driving
I sit on the left side for the wheel's on the right

no, we're not in a foreign country, just good
old U. S. of A., New York City, no less,
and headed uptown, back to a small, ground
floor department store to get something I've
regretted not buying when I saw it there
earlier as I hobbled by on foot

I look over at her quickly when I realize she's
not her usual effusive self, in fact, she's not saying
anything at all ... yikes! her eyes are shut, and her
shoulder length hair's become a messy tumble
around her face as the car speeds north
up Lexington Avenue which is one way south,
not to mention she's passed out behind
the wheel!

as I fumble with my arthritic left foot for the brakes
(yeah, they're on the left, go figure, I couldn't
in the dream and can't now) I start shaking her
shoulder, trying to wake her -- but neither effort
accomplishes anything except that my left foot hits
the accelerator, the last thing it should be doing
-- where are the damn brakes? lots of pedal-like
mechanisms flop around on the floor
but none of them do anything helpful
and some are even clearly insane in design
and action!

well, maybe this is what I get for trying to take
the easy way, to avoid having to get back to that
store under my own steam -- yeah, this is what
happens all too often when I give the wheel
to someone else and let them
drive me crazy


[narrative on a dream of 11-12-17. What I'm left most curious about in this dream is what did I regret not buying. When the word "buy" or the concept of "buying" comes up in my dreams it most often is referencing a belief. What one chooses to believe, or can't believe. What have I chosen not to believe, or can't believe? Can't buy? The curiosity is so strong I just now went to the Tarot (online) and got The Star card. Sigh. The card most associated with hope; in fact, it's often Her flag word. And as I've mentioned here before I'm sure, I wrestle with hope, trying to reject it, as in my experience it only lets me down. Nay, drops me hard and from a great distance on my pointed little head! This is a big surprise to have what I've not bought and now regret not buying, turn out to be hope. And also to see how I fight reclaiming it ... well, even as I type all this I feel part of me trying to speed away from accepting that I need to have hope, even want it. ACK. Of course all this begs the question of hope about what? And, aye, there's the rub! The great big gnarly itchy cutting rub. BTW, that it's my left foot -- which is actually very arthritic -- aiding and abetting the car's dangerous unguided speeding, says that it's my conscious self that's part of this problem. "Left" being associated to left brain, and the more conscious functions. "Right" to right brain, and the less conscious functions. That driver is clearly my younger self who was not only rather "unconscious" back then, but whose influence I'm still less conscious of than I'd like to think. Oh, last thing: I find that inversion of driver on right and passenger on left interesting. Need to think more on it. Many ways to look at it. Photo "Dare She Believe?" (11-2-17 011v2d) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's other blog (dedicated to her photos only, i.e. no poetry or other writing; daily post); TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.