ONE EYE ON THE PAST (photomorph) & A MONUMENTAL QUESTION (dream narrative) by Roswila

A MONUMENTAL QUESTION

it's not as hard to hold people hostage at gun point
as one might think, but then again, maybe the hostages'
own fear is doing most of the work for me

and that reminds me, I'd better get more bullets
for this little 22, but how to do this without letting on
I've actually been unarmed since I shot my last bullet off
to check out my aim ... ah! I'll take one hostage with me
at (albeit secretly empty) gun point to get more ammo ...

now why are these two sneaking around against the walls
of the bedroom? from their trajectory I'd say they've just
come out of the closet -- sigh, in the middle of this life
and death drama of mine and they're having a tawdry affair!

my little gun never wavers as I reassure them I'll not
out them, after all it's exceedingly small potatoes in light
of what might go down when a gun is in play, and I
sincerely encourage them to take care of each other

not that I intend to hurt anyone, I say, that's never been
my way, but who knows what might become necessary,
I add, as I gently motion them out of the bedroom
with a gesture from my gun, the light glinting
off it's silvery blue-grey

not moving, they very cautiously hand me the old lease
for this house I've been living in for so many years,
it seems this two family home's going to be
turned into a small community church

remembering how the same thing happened
to my childhood home, and that my brother who'd
grown from infancy through toddlerhood there
is now dead, I gesture more sharply
with the gun to move them along,

and I wonder, getting rather annoyed as I do, if we
really need another monument to all that's passed away


[narrative on a dream from 5-6-15. Decades before my brother died (in December of 2013), he and I went in search of that childhood home. And it was actually then housing a Korean church. I've been putting off posting this dream narrative (dreamed/written during my blog break in early May) for a month now. I kept feeling I was missing an additional essential point to it, beyond the one it comes to at the end. Long story short, I realized this morning that the "I' of this dream (my more conscious self) is and has been for quite some time, holding more loving aspects of myself hostage. (Nothing new, it's been my go-to defense mechanism all my life, since early childhood.) Loving in the larger, inclusive, connecting sense, i.e. not just romantic. And there's much else to be mined here (especially in that changing home image) that there's no time and space to go into. This narrative came to mind today because of the angry/hurt mood I woke up in this morning, after a very painful interaction yesterday. BTW, I can't even count the number of times I've re-written these comments, not really wanting to go into all this. But it's the sort of dream imagery that can be so terribly misinterpreted by anyone who might not be used to working with dreams and/or metaphor, that some clarification seemed wise. Photomorph "One Eye on the Past" (10437v3f) by Roswila]

PLEASE NOTE: in most browsers you can click on the above image for a larger version. Also, the photo accompanying a post is not necessarily meant to illustrate it, but to reflect some small, even slant aspect of the verse, similar to Japanese haiga (illustrated haiku).

There are many other sorts of posts on this blog. I indicate which are about or influenced by dreams. Some non dream focused posts are book reviews, "regular" poems (some by other writers, as the above is), scifaiku, writing exercises, Tarot haiku, photos, haiga, and so on. However, most of those are in much older posts. There's a listing by month going back to early 2006, at the end of the sidebar.

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until next time, keep dreaming,

[a/k/a Patricia Kelly]
**** If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”). Roswila's connections & other blogs: Charter Member of the United Haiku and Tanka Society (UHTS); ROSWILA'S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL; ROSWILA'S TAIGA TAROT; and TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT.