Roswila's Dream & Poetry Realm

Dreamku/Tanka/Monoku with Digital Photos/Art; Other Poetry; more...

~ * "Wisdom begins in wonder." Socrates ~ *

SEE ALSO: ROSWILA'S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL (with The Found Tarot) and ROSWILA'S TAIGA TAROT (deck-in-progress) and TRYING TO HOLD A BOX OF LIGHT (Roswila's photos, from realism to abstract)

Friday, November 30, 2007


Journal Cover Collage #5, by Patricia Kelly

I really have no obvious reason as I usually do to have the above image head up this month’s dreamku. I can only “justify” it based on my knowledge that the vast majority of the dreamku below are addressing my impending move cross country to California, at least in part. And that horses for me symbolize motion, the physical body, activity (among many other things). I feel like I’m calling on the spirit of work horses to help me accomplish all that I have to do to make this big transition. Horses like that golden Belgian on the right/middle. Strong, sturdy, broad-backed, patient .... That last is where I need a work horse’s example and inspiration the most. Patience has never been my strong suit.

The only theme I can see below is that of people relationships. Which is not surprising as I’ve been overwhelmed by memories, as I sort through virtually my entire life to see what I need or want to take with me, and what it is timely and best to let go of. This choosing to let go applies both literally and figuratively. And it is an intense and oftentimes sad process, but also very liberating.


November 4, 2007

a hurt kitten?
no, a small human baby
guilted again

November 5, 2007

no more near misses
the dark shadow-car
leads us through the night

November 6, 2007

man in the doorway
a baby and puppy speed
to another door

November 7, 2007

a vague presence
must I be forgiven
to forgive him

November 8, 2007

his delight as I
hug him passionately
who’s more surprised

November 9, 2007

loving mother
she’s to play Michael Jackson
in the movie

November 10, 2007

they serve us rare steaks
then start cutting them for us
can I stomach so much?

November 11, 2007

very condensed codes
have songs within them
our rewards

November 12, 2007

each has a mailbox
in the white plaster wall
first, find the beam stud

November 13, 2007

a dog catcher
the mangled ear mutt’s gut hunch
saves the strays again

November 14, 2007

my crazy houseguest
does not speak English
her short spiked hair

November 15, 2007

she’s let the check deposits
pile up

November 16, 2007

mice skitter in
and out of a neighbor’s home
my dirty kitchen

November 17, 2007

Harmony’s loan
I play her oddly shaped
new didjeridu

November 18, 2007

he’s grown his hair
shoulder length again
strands of memory

November 19, 2007

I unearth my old
art high school entrance exam
that moving painting

November 20, 2007

she plays a death song
on her new didjeridu
slightly large mouthpiece

November 21, 2007

he proudly proclaims
how he’s going to change
trial testimony

November 22, 2007

my first roommate
walks in and out of a dream
exclamation point

November 23, 2007

the packed closet shelf
still has room on it
anything’s possible

November 24, 2007

dance invitation
I stand with my back against
the wooden wall

November 25, 2007

a blind friend’s tracks
I’ve the same trouble feeling
my way through the dark

November 26, 2007

her tee shirt
ripe with cherries
he touches one

November 27, 2007

the short haired girl
wears tough guy clothing
music lesson

November 28, 2007

inserted in front
of the foreign growth
uncommon implant

November 29, 2007


I stand
by the outbound side
an aching to go back

the highway so like
many I’ve walked by before
first steps

November 30, 2007

for being taught how
she gives him credit I’m due
lesson learned again

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Tuesday, November 27, 2007

PRAYING TO LOSE MY HEAD, by Patricia Kelly


Oh, Deity of Blinding Light,
my unknown father,
free me from this head
of mine, cut this obstacle
from my knotted neck
in one clean swipe

Relieve me of its weight
of eyes that see as through the darkest glass
of ears that hear only ancient echos and newest fears
of a mouth stained deeply by bitterness
of a nose that is not inspired of spirit

Then do not rush to comfort my Great Mother
but let Her grief echo in the emptiness
that bleeds where my misunderstandings roiled
before your blade’s release

Let Her tears flood over me until
You are moved to gift me with a new
way to comprehend

And until this gift, I will wait unknowing
in the flooding darkness, knowing only
that You will keep Your promise
of transformation

Background: One of Ganesh’s titles is “Remover of Obstacles.” I wrote this poem on first day of Ganesh Chaturthi 2007 (September 15), inspired by the story of Ganesh’s origin: Before Ganesh had an elephant’s head, he was guarding His Mother Parvati's bath. He and His father, Shiva, did not recognize each other, and when Ganesh refused Shiva entrance to Parvati’s bath, Shiva cut off Ganesh’s head. Parvati’s grief was so overwhelming that Shiva went out into the jungle and cut off the head of the first animal He saw, an elephant, and made it Ganesh’s new head.

I’ve had this poem in my stack of possible future posts since September, well before I knew I'd be moving to California. And reading it again today I find it intriguing given all the mental and emotional letting go being required of me as I prepare to make this move cross country. Then there are all those moments when I do feel as if I am losing my head with all the worry, and all that has to be figured out and coordinated. (Not to mention the overwhelming flood of memories as I go through a lifetime of things collected.) However, ultimately I always come back to the joy of it all, to recalling why I am going through this. Of course, it remains to be seen what the intangible results will be once I’ve made the move and am acclimated. How will I have changed? I have an inkling, actually, it will not so much be that I will have changed as that I will have come back to a self who’s been in suspension for years. This inkling and the curiosity it generates also pulls me forward when I am feeling overwhelmed or stuck, and praying for transformation.

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Friday, November 23, 2007

NOT THE WINTER, by Patricia Kelly

fractal 17 by tom conolly

Not the winter, but what haunts it.
Not the sterile egg, but the expectation.
Not the two thousand rocks in a new garden,
but the wish for easy.

Seems rocks, both literally and figuratively, are very present in my life right now. (See my previous posts below.) In doing more file weeding (trying to get down how much I'll have to pay to ship them), I came across this old poem. I remember when writing it I was very self-consciously trying for a "zen" feel. It never felt like a very successful poem. However, on reading it now it does make a point I need to hear. Stick with what I am doing at any given moment. Yes, it's a lot and there's even more yet to do in these next two months as I prepare to move to California. But worrying and "what if-ing" is counterproductive.

Sigh. Wish (LOL!) it were easy (LOL!) to fully follow through on my own poem's observation.

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

SCIFAIKU by Patricia Kelly

nuclear spring
an ancient lighthouse points
to the shattered moon

Only days after I wrote this scifaiku in July of 2006, I received my copy of T.V. Guide with this above ad on the back cover for a new T.V. show. I'd not known about this show and it's premise of life in a small town after nuclear war, resulting in a shattered moon. Imagine my utter surprise!

I had to cut the ad in two because it had T.V. show advertising in the middle. I tried "pasting" it together again in the Paint program but the seam was very disruptive. I think my compromise works well enough, even echoing the idea of "shattering."

This scifaiku (sans the ad) was just published (along with another poem of mine) in the recently released "Dwarf Stars 2007." From the back cover "...this collection from the Science Fiction Poetry Association assembles 41 short poems of the fantastic from some of the most vibrant creators in the field." It's a delightful collection and I highly recommend it, especially -- but not only -- for lovers of speculative poetry. Visit the SFPA site to read more about it and/or to place an order; just scroll down on the left: Science Fiction Poetry Association.

NOTE OF MARCH 2, 2008: This scifaiku was just published on, a site that offers a daily haiku, both on site and by email. It was quite a delight to have a scifaiku accepted for this haiku-focussed site. And, I must admit, it tickles me that it is one of mine. :-)

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Sunday, November 18, 2007

POEM BY & IN MEMORY OF Nicholas Quinault

I lean another way.

Toward something softer, earthier, slightly wayward and definitely unmeasured.

I lean towards anything organic; a hip, the breast of a bird.

Anything meandering; a falling lock of hair, an encircling arm, some green vine on the move, any fierce irregular look, anything from the good book of Nature.

Yes, I lean Nature’s way.

Toward something irregular, earthy, slightly wayward and definitely unmeasured.

Here’s to the curve.

* * * *

Cockinos (as he was known) was a New York City poet I had the good fortune to have heard perform – he was a wonderful story teller – and have the occasional great conversation with. He died just about a year ago. As I was weeding out more of my files in preparation for my move to California I ran across this poem of his and wanted to share it.

[I do not have the source for the above earth image. If anyone happens to know it, I'll be happy to post the information below the photo.]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007


Yes, I'm getting more and more overwhelmed at the amount of work, the number of details to be attended to, and the coordination and planning my move to Santa Barbara, California at the end of this January is requiring. However, all this is not only well-balanced by the joy of why I am doing all this, but moments of laughter as I face these various questions and challenges:

1) I have many, many rocks, ranging from big and quite heavy, all the way down to mini-mini's that I've had on various altars and shelves around my large apartment. As shipping charges are by the pound, I can't take them with me. (Sob! Most are from Block Island, R.I., my favorite place on this planet.) I've placed them all on a shelf by my front door for when I have my house give-away and sale, with a sign that says "Take any or all, and give them a good home." From past experience I know some will actually be taken. "But what will I do with all the rest," I've been thinking for days. "Do a sneak-by midnight rocking of the neighborhood front yards?" (P.S. When my friend and downstairs neighbor saw the sign yesterday she agreed with me that it would not only be fine but nice to put any left over rocks in the backyard here. A zen rock garden ...)

2) Every time I work in either of my two email accounts I think "Oy, that's something else I have to do to lighten up, clean out my email folders." Sheeza Mareeza! My email folders don't have to be packed for Fed Ex by-the-pound ground shipping! ROTFLMAO....

3) In all I have to figure out and do and deal with concerning this move, the thing giving me the most grief and laughter is a big, broken down couch I have had in my third floor apartment for 23 years. When my roomate at that time and I got the couch second-hand, because it is so bulky and long it would not fit up the stairs. So the Salvation Army guys had to rope it and bring it up over our third floor terrace, which included taking off the glass terrace doors. However, they had no rope, but they did have a huge donated box of men's ties in the truck. So they knotted the ties, end to end, and used that as rope. OY! I had thought I would have to have friends reverse that process (argh!!!!), with real rope, of course. But it occurred to me that what I've been joking about doing might actually be a possible way to go: rent a hacksaw, have the couch hacked into two or three pieces, and cart those down the stairs. I've already requested an estimate on renting a hacksaw. Can you believe it? Starting in Your Neighborhood Theatres Today: "Chainsaw Massacre Part XX: The Embedded Couch."
* * * *

‘til next time, keep (California!) dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

Monday, November 12, 2007


These photos of me were taken very recently in the front end of my long, large apartment, before I knew I'd be moving. I'm in all of them because they were taken specifically so I'd have a better photo for my blog. The front end is the half I've been inhabiting, while I've rented out the back half. Fortunately, the kitchen is in the middle, so it's almost like a roommate and I have had two separate little apartments.

This first photo is the one from which I cropped my new profile picture and I can clearly see my resemblance to my mother in it. It was taken in what would normally be the dining area, but which for me is more an extension of my living room. You can see more evidence of my love of Block Island, Rhode Island in the throw on the wall behind me. And every self-respecting Witch has a broom (on the right, near a bamboo flute):

I see my resemblance to my father in this one. I'll be taking cane cuttings of the dracena next to me to California. (An old haiku I wrote about it -- outgrowing my home/the dracena I raised/from a sprout.) I've had it at least 15 years and we've been through a lot together:

Here I am in front of my Tarot shelves (decks and books). That long vertical thing on the left, behind the flowers, is a glass didjeridu (which I have to sell, though I am taking my agave and bamboo didjeridus). The poster coming out of my head is The Fool card in The Thoth Tarot. By the way, I really do have eyebrows! :-) They're just white, like my hair. What's fun about this photo (at least for me) is you can see my Jewish/Russian great-great-grand aunt's nose. I'm not sure about the actual number of generations, but it was a very old photo I'm remembering seeing. My stepmother exclaimed when she saw it "There's Patty's nose!"

Here's a better view of my Tarot shelves. You can see some of the special boxes and pouches (that I crochet) I keep them in. The poster on the left is of The World card in The Connolly Tarot; the glass didjeridu is clearer here; and that's Ganesh to the right of the flowers. That blue rectangle growing out of my head is actually propped up on a clock on the wall behind me. :-)

This is of my corner "office;" that's one of my printers on the right. Those masks I put together from a fabulous book of masks I was given as a gift. (I'm taking the rest of the unassembled masks in the book with me, but will be giving these two away.) The two posters, left to right, are The Two of Disks (Pentacles) and The Six of Disks (Pentacles) in The Thoth Tarot.

I'm winking in the above photo (I prefer that to calling it squinting :-D) and it feels that all I've done is wink and 23 years have gone by in this apartment. I hope this next two and a half months of sorting, tossing, selling, giving away, cleaning, and packing goes by in a wink, too! Then again, maybe I shouldn't be wishing my life away, but savoring even these times of work- and emotion-intensive change, as change is really all there is. Ah, how appropriate, that's one of the meanings for The Two of Disks in the above photo: "The only stability is change." A good thing to remember.

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

Thursday, November 08, 2007


Yes, I admit it! I’m being overtaken by sentimentality. Now that it’s definite that I’m moving to California all sorts of things are tugging at my heart strings as I let them go. I hasten to add I’m also absolutely delighted to move. And that it’s mildly miraculous I’m making this move at all, given my financial state along with many other issues. I am endlessly grateful to the Deities for responding to my prayers and magic working. In addition, my gratitude goes out to my friends in California whose help has been and is continuing to be tremendous.

One of the things doing a lot of tugging at my heart is the beautiful little island, Block Island, Rhode Island that I’ve posted about here before. It has been unlikely but not impossible that I would make any trips up there again. (It’s just off the east tip of Long Island where I live.) But moving to the West Coast makes it almost an impossibility I will visit there again. So my memories are even more precious.

I took the below photos in the late 1980's. I would go to Block Island every year right after Labor Day. But these photos were taken on my one pre-summer tourist season trip, in spring just as things were about to get really green and bright.

This one above is of one piece of a sculptor's work that was in several places around the island that year. This one really caught my attention as it looks to me like a Wiccan High Priestess or High Priest invoking an ocean Deity.

When I saw this fabulous "gate to nowhere" I just stood there, musing on it. I kept telling a friend of mine how much of Block Island reminded me of photos I'd seen of Ireland. Until he saw this photo he didn't quite believe me.

Ah, and ah again. And that's just what I would say when I got to the bench beneath this wonderful tree. All I did when on the island was hike, and I'd start at my hotel, way up in the middle of the island, hike down and east and be very grateful for this bench. Which happens to be right before the South East Light, which you can vaguely see in the left distance.

This pond is just one of many you see around the island. This one I believe is on the west side or maybe along the road going up the middle of the island. One day I got caught out hiking as it started storming heavily. I stood by a pond very much like this with my slicker on and watched the rain stirring up the pond.

These are the gazillions of stairs down to Mohegan Bluffs beach. At the bottom of the stairs you still aren't on the beach. There's a steep path between large rocks, that has more scattered rocks on it. But the beach is well worth it. Especially to look back up at the bluffs. I posted a haiga here with a better photo of these stairs that I found online: one hundred steps down/to lie on the beach/one hundred steps up. Don't know if it actually is 100, but it sure feels like it!

This stamp is on a post card I have. The picture is of the South East Light that I mentioned above. This painting of the SE Light shows how close to Mohegan Bluffs it stands. I'm not sure, but I think this painting was done before they moved the Light further back from the eroding bluffs. The Post Office issued this stamp in 1999.

Of course, there are gorgeous beaches near where I’m moving in Goleta (outside Santa Barbara). One is only seven blocks away. But they aren’t the same as the beautiful beaches we have here in the North East. I’ll carry memories of Block Island’s beaches in particular with me.

* * * *

Resource: Block Island Photography, some gorgeous aerial photos, a nice contrast to my up close ones above.

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

HAIKU in Response to One Deep Breath Prompt of 11-04-07

The prompt this week at One Deep Breath is loneliness. These are some of haiku I wrote on the train to and from Saranac Lake in upstate New York, where I visited a retirement residence I'm interested in for myself.

wild fall leaves empty golf carts on the green

* * * *

no trespass sign
the wind pesters
flame leafed trees

* * * *

lowering clouds
held up by scraps of blue
distant mountains

* * * *

a fiery tree
alone in the greensward
one man leaves the train

* * * *

And here's one that addresses loneliness in it's more enjoyable aspect (at least that's what I projected on to that seagull!):

outpaced by the train
a seagull skimming
the placid lake

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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Saturday, November 03, 2007


The Ace of Pentacles in The Tarot of the Cat People

Sheesh! What a month. I know I keep saying how busy and/or stressed out I am, but this month really took the cake. An on-line psiber dreaming conference at which I presented a workshop on dreamku that continued for a full two weeks, followed right away by a trip to California (Santa Barbara), and that followed by a trip way upstate New York (Saranac Lake). Both trips were to check out retirement residences (the first also was to visit a few dear friends).

Just the thought of pulling up the 23 years’ worth of roots I have in this apartment makes me nauseous, but it is time to do so. However, there are many other considerations and I’ve been worrying myself sick over everything. I’d love to put it all off, take in a short-term roommate and save more money, then move later. But I know it will only get harder to do so as I get even older. So my sense is to do it now if at all possible, no matter how objectively (and subjectively) hard it is. I see these considerations and struggles and hopes salted throughout the dreamku below.

My dreams this month also consistently supported my continuing to work toward moving, no matter how I was feeling. As did all the Tarot card readings I did. Without these two support systems I do not know if I’d still be pursuing the (waking) dream of moving.


October 1, 2007

she freezes in joy
while learning the new group dance
her lost solo spin

October 2, 2007


upside down star flight
William Shatner and I
rescued by Pegasus

we make our landing
before the first crew saved
dinner on hold

she has dyed her hair
to honor She who taught her
new Elder

the man's elegant
and lengthy meal blessing
my adopted homeland

October 3, 2007

harvest moon
we bait our trap
with a fake King

October 4, 2007

he says the garden
drains into the other world
I’ve always known this

October 5, 2007

I sit at the edge
with his illegible notes
letting go

October 6, 2007

evening walk
she reaches the crosswalk
labor pains start

October 7, 2007

the Magi can’t be
banned from the new housing
it’s their work

October 8, 2007

popping blouse buttons
I see why she chose
a big jacket

October 9, 2007


I can't pull out the knife
I stabbed into my stomach
a coat drapes over

long staircase down
I defeat the evil man
despite my old wound

revisiting the knifing
I learn he, not me, caused it
to what end?

it hurts too much
to try to remove the knife
I leave it be

*"Now he's been stabbed alive. He's seeing things." Joyce Cary: "The Horse's Mouth"

October 10, 2007

wood sorrel for
the reddish spots on our skin
she’s in denial

October 11, 2007

improved proportion
the pale statue sticks
out her neck

October 12, 2007

dream pronouncement
the slew of sneakers means
time to run home

October 13, 2007


a picture of a
threatened lake hangs in the air
it must continue

I walk into the
painting of sunlit water
baby elephants wade

a man departs to
assure the lake's survival
a kiss farewell

October 14, 2007

too thick too sweet
the dark liquor he asks me
to drink with him

October 15, 2007

I do a sexy dance
in black fish net stockings
a switch in styles

October 16, 2007

pentacle of light
she stands tall and views their
solid beginning

[I drew the Ace of Pentacles in the Tarot of the Cat People (see top of post) at random on a forgotten dream.]

October 17 - 22, 2007

a man and a boy
flattened between window panes
house arrest

* * * *

the search this time
will be of deep sea trenches
should I volunteer

* * * *

the A/C on a cord
smashes into the building
I owe for repairs

[The three above were dreamed and written while I was away in California. ]

October 23, 2007

she tries to skim
the surface in a lawn chair
new swimming pool game

October 24, 2007

you are right
to travel on from them all
no second guessing

[dreamed and written 10-13-07; then I "heard" the dreamku repeated, again and again in a dream on October 23, 2007]

October 25, 2007

I cling to the rug
as it flies far back in time
Scottish hearth

October 26, 2007

charged for the batch of
small things we did not receive
accused of fraud

October 27, 2007

I sort
the kielbasa by sex
neatly shelved females

October 28, 2007


ruffled pink outfit
she dresses
for the long haul

holding on tight
she slides down the garden path
all too easy

she bottoms out
her ex-boyfriend
greets her

she starts to climb up
good hand holds abound
for the first time

October 29, 2007

my lengthy efforts
she hesitates to offer
small corrections

October 30, 2007

a crack in reality
little devils
dance the conga

October 31 to November 3, 2007

I try to warn him
about my checkbook errors
he lauds my hairstyle

* * * *

dream mural
my blind friend points out
the back-tracking snake

* * * *

I build a small
white wood Tarot triptych
witch house

[From dreams I had while visiting the retirement residence upstate. The last dream above had a pun in it that I only recognized on reading the resultant dreamku out loud: "which" house. And that's my question right now, still not knowing when, where and even if I'll be moving into a retirement residence.]

* * * *

‘til next time, keep dreaming,


[aka: Patricia Kelly]

****If you wish to copy or use any of my writing or poems, please email me for permission (under “View my complete profile”)****My other blogs ROSWILA’S TAROT GALLERY & JOURNAL and ROSWILA’S TAIGA TAROT.

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